COMBOS
Cast Goblin Matron FTW: => search Goblin Recruiter, cast it, Goblin Ringleader on top followed by Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker, Lightning Crafter and Skirk Prospector=> cast your combos for infinite mana and damages.
Zealous Conscripts + Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker
Card Selection
Lands
You'll first notice that I run the barest minimum number of lands - you're going to be abusing mulligan rules a lot. In exchange, I'm drawing out the maximum amount of power per draw step that I can... hopefully. Every land has a function, and every land that doesn't perform a function isn't in the deck.
Here we go!
Maluleca: It's like a red machine gun! With bullets of
awesome!
Fetchlands (Arid Mesa/Bloodstained Mire/Scalding Tarn/Wooded Foothills) are the most expensive part of the mana base, but are the most important. A lot of mono-colored decks are just fine not running fetches, either out of price issues or simply because they do not feel they are necessary. Clearly, they have not seen my style of play.
Smart play or not - I utilize fetchlands as "cheating" mechanisms. If I have a moon effect out, they are just normal mountains, and nothing is lost. If I have a valakut out, fetches turn into bolts whenever I need them. Alone, fetches enable a "do I need mana next draw or not?" playstyle. If I want to draw a land next, I will not crack the fetch. If I want business, I crack. Statistically, this is an insignificant plan, as the % chance of drawing or not drawing a land is tiny, assuming perfect randomization (something that logically can't exist) ... but I do it anyway, because I can.
Clearly, fetchlands are more than just a land drop to my twisted mind. This IS a Norin deck, after all.
Snow-Covered Mountains are the workhorse of the mana base. Being mountains, they enable the powerful Valakut burn engine. Being snow, they enable Scrying Sheets as a draw engine, giving even more utility to the mana base.
Speaking of Scrying Sheets - this is an extremely useful tool combined with Sensei's Divining Top or Widespread Panic. As long as you can control the top of your library, you can magically draw the answer. True story.
Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle gives the deck late game reach like few others can do. Once the magical number is hit, your land drops turn into bolts, and fetches turn into instant speed, nigh unstoppable removal.
Cavern of Souls is probably one of the most overpowered lands printed in recent memory. The ability to erase the threat of counterspells on your creatures is fantastic - because pretty much all of the creatures in this deck are capable of winning on their own, or at least be annoying enough to help it along. Name "Goblin" for success, "Chuck Norris" if you think humans are the way to go. Or you can just give the finger to blue mages, I don't much care. They might, but they'll be dead in a few turns anyways.
Adding to the pile of utility lands, Kher Keep functions as one of the best engines in the deck. With Skullclamp, it turns into a draw engine. With Confusion in the Ranks, suddenly you can steal whatever you want at instant speed! If you've got nothing to do, there is nothing wrong with generating tokens. Drawing Warp World with a ton of 0/1s out can turn a bad game into a win.
Buried Ruin, artifact recursion! This gem does more than just tap for mana - it brings back some of the many artifacts that serve to annoy everyone. Crucible of Worlds dead? No problem!
Haunted Fengraf is a Dark Ascension addition. It provides one of the only ways to actually recur creatures in this deck, and rather handily at that. While it does have a random clause, it really doesn't matter. Anything recur-able is plenty fine by me.
Darksteel Citadel and Great Furnace are two other tricky lands. Their sole purpose - turn Confusion in the Ranks into an artifact stealing engine, too. Did i mention they tap for mana? They do that too. See how useful they are.
I need not explain Strip Mine and Wasteland. For those clueless bastards who don't know what they do - go outside and take a sledgehammer to something. That's what they do.
I do need to explain what Ghost Quarter does, though. Instead of taking a sledgehammer to something, channel your inner jackhammer and chew up your neighbors lawn. They'll be forced to replace it with fake grass. This is what Ghost Quarter does, only in the example listed your neighbors won't know it's you. Seriously, have you tried it? They won't know.
Mana-artifacts
You thought that was all the mana Norin ran? You've clearly never played this format before.
The best place to start for acceleration is the obvious place: Sol Ring. One mana. Two in return. Duh.
A far more expensive version, even if cheaper, is Mana Crypt. In a game of 40 life, there is quite literally no downside to the card. Even if you drop to low life totals, you'll never die to it's upkeep cost. Seriously. It took nearly twelve flips at one life before the game ended. I won.
Another great and cheap source of mana in the early game is Mind Stone. It's the opposite investment of Sol Ring, but given the relative efficiency of the card compared to other ramp, it's fantastic. For icing on the cake, You can use it to draw a card. This makes for a fantastic Goblin Welder engine.
Another two drop that synergizes with much of the deck is Iron Myr. Yes, the rusty myr is indeed playable, and he is extremely good in this deck. As a two drop, he's basically another Mind Stone. One that works incredibly well with Confusion in the Ranks and Skullclamp, nevermind the more creature-oriented buffs that are also omnipresent. If you're really light on mana you can even tutor for him, but this is the rare case.
Moving on to the less-obvious acceleration choices now. Honor-Worn Shaku and Springleaf Drum are two very odd cards for EDH. One of them is useless without a creature, and one has a very strange clause to increase the mana production. Thankfully, Norin the Wary provides the answers! With Norin, Honor-Worn Shaku turns into mana every turn, benefiting something like Mind's Eye. On your turn - it is two mana, making it one of the better cost -> return pieces. Springleaf Drum, as seen in old-school affinity, is great for turning tokens or free dudes into free mana - which is the same policy used here. With this in mind, I give both of these the label of Norin Engine!
But where, you might ask, are the mana doublers seen in nearly every single colored deck? As it turns out, I feel only one of them is good enough to actually play. Gauntlet of Might does exceptional things for you, and if traded away doesn't hurt in the slightest. At four mana, it's the best doubler of them all.
Non-Mana Artifacts
With a Goblin Welder in the deck - you know artifacts are a goodly theme for the rest of it. Red needs advantage, right?
Oh Myr God. They're coming! - Last words of Arcum Dagsson
Beginning with a powerful Norin Engine - Cloudstone Curio is a card that is really quite odd. Red doesn't generally care about reusing cards. They just want to blow everything up and move on. However, being able to use something like Stingscourger or Imperial Recruiter every turn makes Cloudstone Curio the best long-term engine in the deck. Be warned - players like to kill this card. Bad memories, I'd assume. Elf-filled memories. Shudder.
Genesis Chamber - This is never a bad topdeck. Genesis Chamber makes things happen for Norin. Turn one Norin -> Turn two chamber in a four player game can quickly turn to 15 power, and a dead player. While being a great source of tokens (blockers), chamber runs almost scarily well with Confusion in the Ranks or Skullclamp. You will run over games quickly with the chamber. It's a kill on sight style card.
While you're literally crapping out dudes with Genesis Chamber, why not use them to steal stuff forever? Helm of Possession turns stealing into an art form. Nice Jin-Gitaxis you've got there. Mind if i borrow it? Note - you can sacrifice Norin to this! It's not like he doesn't anything useful. Get back in your room, Norin.
Far more fun than stealing stuff is making sure it was yours to begin with. Sculpting Steel doubles up on all of your powerful artifacts and makes your opponent wish they hadn't dropped Blightsteel Colossus just yet.
Annoying, yes? We've got worse in store! This is a deck that likes to blink stuff. A lot. In fact, Norin holds the world record for number of times blinked in a second. 42, because that's the number that matters. So, how are we going to help Norin practice blinking? A mirror would work, but I think we could do better. How about a closet for that mirror? Conjurer's Closet blinks things at the end of your turn, which means you can get some serious mileage out of that Solemn Simulacrum, or that Zealous Conscripts. Out of goblins? No problem! Blink a tutor, or blink that siege-gang. All in all, this is quite possibly the best artifact in the deck!
Of course, doing useful things is great, but sometimes you need to ensure that nobody does anything! Tangle Wire can effectively silence players for long stretches of time - and because of Norin does far less damage to you than it does to anyone else. On the first cycle, you're only tapping out one effective card. Nifty, eh? If that's not enough, it's downright unfair when you cycle it with Goblin Welder. Stop untapping. Forever.
Better than annoying - Red also needs draw. For this, Norin gets to play with two incredibly broken cards. Memory Jar and Skullclamp - I choose you! Memory Jar is a crazy draw engine alongside Goblin Welder, and enables a tertiary win con of just milling everyone to death. It has been done. Skullclamp combos well with too many things to list - so I'll just leave you with a "SkullclampIsBrokenUseItOrLose" and a "YouCanClampNorin" just for fun.
But what can draw and is annoying at the same time? It can't be anything other than Teferi's Puzzle Box. With a side bonus of stopping Top Deck Tutors - the box also really annoys everyone. This instantly makes it a good card. Don't forget the draw for the turn comes first.
Another joyous little artifact we've got is Crucible of Worlds. Hopefully it's fairly obvious that this card is good, because if it's not, I'm going to tell you why it is anyways. Why? Because this is a primer, and I get to tell you stuff. Anyways, Crucible has a very unique and powerful ability in recurring lands. This means that Strip Mine you've got sitting there? It's free to dig away at an opponent's mana base. That fetchland? It's getting even more value out of it. If that weren't enough, It goes great with Buried Ruin and Haunted Fengraf, giving you a recursion engine of your own, albeit an expensive one. Crucible lets you maximize the lands you have and the filter to find them. An excellent card, but beware giving it to your opponents, as it can be just as deadly in the hands of another.
Now, of course we like recursion. Who doesn't? Well, we also like card draw. And token generation. And life gain. All in one. Trading Post is a small engine that does big things, like... say.... turn a token into a Genesis Chamber. It's no bazaar, but good Norin is it bizarre.
Since we're down to the utility, we might as well speak about Sensei's Divining Top. This is almost a requirement for decks these days, because adjusting the top three cards of your library is an absolutely insane effect. The longer the game goes on, the more powerful it will become.
Last, but certainly not least - mandatory Grave Hate. Relic of Progenitus is one of the best graveyard hate pieces to come out, and it doubles as a draw when you need it. Don't forget to use it every turn.
Creatures
The color red has the most bizarre set of creatures to ever walk the planes. You have your Manticores (evolution's little joke) and your Elementals. Barbarians and Dragons, the occasional Spirit or Beast. Maybe even a Phoenix here or there. Added to that, red does have it's strange little gremlins. Great flavor text, horrible friends - Goblins are red's primary tool for breaking things. So it makes sense when the first creatures you turn to for doing just that are goblins.
Who better to begin the swarm of goblins than the immortal himself - Squee, Goblin Nabob. For the small sum of three mana, you get an infinite blocker, clamp fodder, or whatever other nefarious purpose you can think of. It's the gift that keeps on giving, even if you'd rather shoot yourself than get it.
Although Squee doesn't swarm well, Krenko, Mob Boss does. By himself, Krenko is capable of putting tremendous amounts of goblins into play. He's a true must answer card - and he only costs four mana! Just think of all the Warstorm Surge triggers. Which, if those weren't lethal, the stench of having several dozen goblins in one spot will probably kill you anyways.
In some cases, dozens of goblins aren't enough. You only need one. A copy, in fact. Specializing in this particular brand of mischief is Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker. He greatly enjoys smashing mirrors, tormenting children, and long walks through the marsh. He's easily one of the best ETB-based creatures in the game, so I think he's earned a spot in this deck.
To ensure that bad stuff continues to happen, it's nice to have a clear board.
And you thought red had no recursion? Think again... Ensuring this are our removal options. For spot removal, it's hard to beat Outrage Shaman. Not only is he tutorable in four different ways, his effect is great for killing that pesky utility creatures that like to hang back. I like to think he kills his targets by yelling at them.
Another spot removal critter is Stingscourger. Although he's got echo, it's best to think of him as a fire and forget type effect. It will slow your opponents down mightily if timed correctly, and never mind the fun he does with Teferi's Puzzle Box.
But sometimes you just need to kill a lot of things. All at the same time. But you can never be quite sure what to blow up, can you? Goblin Assassin will get quarters flipping in no time, and can be stacked to absolutely remove boards from the game. He's easily the most fun anyone will have killing things.
So how can we abuse this further? Why token generators, of course! Mogg War Marshal, Siege-Gang Commander, and Beetleback Chief are capable of doing silly things with the assassin. Each guarantees up to three coin flips! The board will be wiped, make no mistake. As a plus, Siege-Gang can even chuck the goblins you wanted dead at the targets you wanted dead. Once you drive that bit of logic into your opponents, you can safely ensure victory... because if that made sense they're likely brain-dead and you can't possibly lose. ...unless that made sense to you, in which case I wish you luck.
Goblins aren't the only generators of useful tokens. While Chandra's Dead Parents aren't goblins, they wish they were. In an effort to become one, they've taken the effects of Beetleback Chief and humanized them. Now the tokens fly! If that weren't enough, those same flying tokens can be used as cannon fodder for Pie and Cake's terrible anger issues, which are thrown into things such as buildings, people, or both. Let's give a hand to Pia and Kiran Nalaar! Just don't get close to them in anything flammable.
Rounding out the package of annoyances known as goblins are two alternate removal toys. Goblin Settler, destroyer of lands. Tuktuk Scrapper, destroyer of artifacts. As one shot-effects, they are wonderful. As copies off of Kiki, they are horribly scary lock down machines.
Now then, it's time for some utility. Starting with a classic, Goblin Welder is so good, vintage decks use him! (Though considering they use Slash Panther too, it isn't saying much)
The next bit of utility is the man with the bushy beard. Some say that he loves sacrificing Myr tokens to his god, Norin. Some say he likes reviving the dead so you can go infinite. Some say he's tutor-able with Imperial Recruiter. All we know is, he's not the Stig, but the Stig's red cousin, Feldon of the Third Path.
There are dozens of tricks that the Welder can pull off. Most notable are the uses of Memory Jar, Solemn Simulacrum, and Duplicant. You can use it to take out "indestructible" things too. Just remember that Genesis Chamber makes artifacts waiting to be abused...
Speaking of artifacts - two of the best creature/artifacts in EDH also reside in this deck. As Goblin Welder is also part of the 100, it makes sense that these two would be easily abused with him. And they are. As stated, Solemn Simulacrum and Duplicant live to be abused. One ramps, one removes. Being artifacts, they also interface extremely well with Confusion in the Ranks. It's so much fun to steal stuff, did I mention that?
...which is exactly what Zealous Conscripts lives for! Adding to the tricks Norin is capable of, this little beasty steals a permanent until end of turn and untaps it. This means stealing planeswalkers, fatties, enchantments, lands, whatever. As a small, almost inconsequential side-note... it goes infinite with Kiki-Jiki. As I said, it's nearly irrelevant. Infinite combos. Pfff.
Sometimes, though, simply stealing something or wiping the board isn't enough. It's important to occasionally keep these plays from happening in the first place. Responsible for this is the always amusing Magus of the Moon. It turns expensive mana bases into fodder for laughter, as folks with too much money and little sense get their $2000 manabase destroyed by a $2 rare. If you're running red, Magus is a must.
And of course, the creatures get filter as well. The recent years have been kind to this deck, and it just wouldn't work without a bit of ugly. Rummaging Goblin gives you the power to filter like a boss... and adds another way to abuse the Immortal Squee; Bringer of Doom, Eater of Cheese.
The other non-goblin trickster is Manic Vandal. Boring, but effective. Essentially, this serves as a secondary Tuktuk Scrapper, because artifacts always need to die. 'nuff said.
However, no creature package is complete without ways to cheat them out of your library. Red is by far the most limited in regard to tutors, but the ones we do have are scarily efficient. Topping the list (and the most expensive card in here by a long-shot) is Imperial Recruiter. A $200 rare from P3K, it gets any creature in my deck sans the manticore, or gets a tutor to get out the others. A great first target for Imperial Recruiter is, as always, Kiki. Re-useable tutor every turn? Insert Evil Laughter Here. Coming up next is the goblin tutor, Goblin Matron. Having the card go directly to your hand is a bonus hard to discount. And of course, it's hard to go wrong with the old-school tutor for one of the most broken decks in its time. Goblin Recruiter sets up your next turn perfectly, provided you want to draw a goblin.
Rounding out the tutors is Moggcatcher, something that, once active, turns the game around. For 3 mana, you can instantly get a toolbox goblin and use it for whatever nefarious purpose you might have come up with. Nice general, in response to equipping I play Stingscourger from my deck. Yes, I have Teferi's Puzzle Box out.
We've gone through the fun things, but now it's time to examine one of Norin's scarier creatures. If you've ever looked at In the Web of War and thought ooh, that looks like fun you will absolutely adore Ogre Battledriver. Everybody but me! Charge! He's a haste enabler that also makes your creatures bigger. This is abusable in many ways, but the most obvious is Pandemonium or Warstorm Surge. Alternatively, you can attack with your 4/1 Norin, but considering it's the end of turn I'd like to know how you were planning on accomplishing that.
And now we get to the false god. If you liked pumping things, and you liked doing things when things entered the thing, you'll think this thing is the only thing worth thinking about.
Planeswalkers
Norin runs two planeswalkers. Daretti, Scrap Savant, and Chandra Ablaze.
Chandra has the unfortunate title of "Worst Planeswalker" due to her cost and the lack of abilities. ...Or did, until Tibalt came around. We don't talk about Tibalt here. This is, however, the best format possible for her. Her -2 is the most commonly used and perhaps the best of her abilities - hand disruption on what is technically a stick? Yeah.
Daretti is that one guy who wanted to become an Engineer, decided it sucked, became a Welder, decided that sucked too, so he became a baker. He's a draw engine, enabler, and end-game cook all in one. He's literally a melting pot. Someone change his art!
Ability by ability:
Chandra Ablaze
+1: Usually used once a game, if at all unless I have a Squee in hand. There is something rewarding about throwing a screaming goblin at a Dark Confidant. What is overkill?
-2: The most used ability. As until Norin actually draws into a draw engine (sad, isn't it?) the hand is mostly empty, this is a great way to refill the hand and disrupt everyone else at the same time. Nothing screams joyous day like making your opponent pitch their carefully sculpted hand and then passing the turn. Or casting Wheel of Fortune, and THEN doing this. Or purchasing stock in a security company. Lots of it.
-7: Every time this is activated, Norin wins. It is an Ultimate, after all.
Daretti, Scrap Savant
+2: Squee Chucker (tm). Toss that dude and draw a card. If you have a crucible or a welder, you've got more good tossing options. Alternatively, you can chuck Bloodghast to confuse your opponents. Make sure none of them are judges.
-2: Goblin Welder wannabe! This can actually be stopped by removal, but only if you have no artifacts by the time they're done removing. That might be relevant at some point, but who knows.
-10: If you actually manage to fire this off, the game has probably been over for awhile. What it does is completely negate any artifact destruction, and possibly trigger any ETB effects you have. Some say when this ability is used, green decks cry.
Enchantments
At last, the core of Norin's strength. These are how Norin usually win, and how the game turns into the crazy bundle of fun known as EDH.
To begin, a card that gives 5c nightmares. Blood Moon is the best disruption available to red versus a large, large portion of decks. That's a nice Hermit Druid deck there, I think I'll completely eradicate any chance you have of winning. Also comes on a stick!
Pheno: I really don't want to play Magic: the
Wacky Bull****
Further disrupting opponents, Planar Chaos randomly counters bombs and answers from other players. With the flip of a coin, games can be won or lost, usually in your favor. Hopefully in your favor. The odds are roughly 50:50.
Because you cannot have a true chaos deck without it, Grip of Chaos gives us MORE disruption to spot answers. Was that Fireball aimed at me? My bad. Just be careful with this and any of the next three powerhouses. It can turn on you if you're trying to spam targeted effects.
Norin, it seems, likes to blink. He doesn't do much else. So of course it makes sense that this ability would need to be abused. It doesn't get much more entertaining than good ole Pandemonium or Warstorm Surge. Whenever Norin (or another creature) enters, bam! And because it's that more amusing, with Genesis Chamber out, you get to add another bit of damage to the stack. Eventually, the board will be clear, and someone will start slowly dying. Feel the burn baby.
But there remains one more Norin Enchantment. One that strikes fear in the heart of opponents. One that makes little kids cry when they hear it's name spoken. Confusion in the Ranks is by far the best card ever printed for Chaos and Norin. It reads: At the end of every turn, steal the best creature on the field. If that creature is an eldrazi or an iona, laugh at target player. If that creature is Blue, proceed to inform your opponent that Blue Sucks, and Red is Awesome.
One of the more important aspects of EDH is the ability to search your library for an answer. Now, we can't have that. There is little more entertaining than to play Strangehold and watch nearly every deck in existence suffer. This is, of course, the whole point. That infinite turn blue deck? Gone. Toolbox.dec? Gone. Green ramp? I hope you can topdeck. It's a good way to drastically slow down your opponents until you can lay down one of the best ways for red to win.
If we want to neuter green ramp though, there stands another. Widespread Panic, apart from having the best name in the business, is a cheap way to really slow down the durdly do-nothing decks. If you're smart you can abuse it with Scrying Sheets and Teferi's Puzzle Box, which will confuse your opponents long enough to slip in another myr token.
Instants
What's a chaos deck without a little chaos? There is currently only one instant deemed worthy of the deck. It's a sad state of affairs - there are not many high-impact red instants.
It stands the test of "duh" that the card in question is Chaos Warp. This is red's tuck, and by FAR the best removal spell red has access too. While it does have a chance of backfiring, odds are whatever you removed in the first place is much worse. Note - you can use it on your own things in an emergency!
Sorceries
The biggest and most splashiest spells can be found here. Sorceries are where red's power lies - be it land destruction or mass disruption.
However, there are some smaller suspects in this group. Among them is one of the rarest things in magic - a red tutor. GambleGC is a tutor with a random discard, meaning it can sometimes fail. But for one mana, I'll be okay with a little randomization. Just to keep things interesting. (Actually this card hates me, I always seem to discard the thing I tutored for unless I get Squee. It will never discard)
"Warp World" - Short for "Rage Quit"
Another tiny toy is one of the best removal spells available to red, Aftershock. Though it costs four mana, it's one of the few things available to red that actually destroys a creature outright, which can be incredibly important.
Since card advantage is so rare in red, it's good to be able to get x for 1s. One of the best (though for artifacts only) is Shattering Spree. This one-shot wonder can completely erase the field of artifacts, except yours, of course. If you're afraid of countermagic, you can target the same thing multiple times. Just to be safe.
So these are the small timers. It's time to unveil the biggest spells we've got.
Starting with... Warp World! For 8 mana, WW completely changes the game around. For spell-heavy decks, this is a deathblow. For everyone else, profit. Pure profit. Warp World does excellently late game after you've had the chance to generate lots of tokens, and can give you a win out of what was previously a dead board.
For all the cards shown so far, none of them have swept the board. Sweepers are a huge part of EDH, as board positions can get pretty crazy. However, Norin runs exactly one; Mogg Infestation. Unlike most sweepers, Mogg Infestation is one that can be excellently cast on yourself. With a horde of tokens and a Pandemonium out, MI can one-shot someone. Don't forget even more applications with Confusion in the Ranks.
One aspect that red has been missing for years is the ability to filter through your deck. Every other color has efficient ways of doing this, with the exception of red. Red had three. Now, I don't think Orcish Librarian is exactly what we're looking for, and Control of the Court/Goblin Lore can backfire spectacularly. If you know of some others, bugger off. Now, with the printing of Dark Ascension, red finally started getting so called "looting" effects. To start, there were two: Shattered Perception and Faithless Looting. Since Shattered Perception relies on your hand to actually be full (good luck with that) it was ignored, and its cheaper counterpart looked at more closely. ...I can say with firm resolution that Faithless Looting is the best one-drop Red has gotten since Lightning Bolt. Ignore the Goblin Welder. So we have filter. Don't forget to pitch squee to it for a further bonus to drawing.
Ruination! Wizards wanted "nonbasic" to be a drawback, just remember that. Ruination performs best in a "developed" meta - one where expensive mana bases (duals) run rampant.
And of course, the wheels. If you haven't played with them, you haven't lived. Of the three decent ones, Norin plays two- Reforge the Soul and Wheel of Fortune. Both do the same thing - everyone ditches their hand and draws a new set! Obviously among the most powerful spells in magic.
PROXIES:
- Blasphemous Act
- Oblivion Stone
- Chrome Mox
- Arcane Signet
- Tome of Legends
