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The Homosexual Agenda

Commander / EDH

ZendikariWol


Maybeboard


Hey sisters, how's it hangin? So why have we convened today's meeting? Glad you asked.

The agenda today is to gain total control over the board state and eventually to win the game! But you don't wanna make a single attack until all but one of your enemies are dead, right? Of course! Well, this deck achieves that aim in two mini ways, which you'll see soon.

DISCLAIMER This is a strictly casual political deck. My meta has two rules; two rules I think every meta should have: no combo and no stax. So don't expect to see any lockdowns on the board and don't expect to see any cheap wins here!

This deck has three main components. I call 'em instigators, displacers and rattlesnakes. Let's check them out, shall we?
Instigators spread gossip and force opponents to attack each other- or you (watch out!). Whether the opponents want to attack or not (and especially if not!), they'll end up attacking someone. Let's take a big looksee at our instigators, shall we, sisters?

Goblin Spymaster : This fake ass bitch is basically down to spread shit about whoever.

Thantis, the Warweaver : We don't know if she actually supports Trump or not but she's willing to say it if it'll start a fight!

Disrupt Decorum : Just read the flavor text.

Bident of Thassa : If you need to destroy just one bitch, this is your go-to. She also draws you some cards. Coastal Piracy , eat your heart out.

Curse of the Nightly Hunt : Who knew Stacey was a werewolf! And she didn't even tell us- her closest friends!? How could she? Guess who's in for a hell of a backswing!

Many of these work as little mini instigators and as mini rattlesnakes. They inspire your opponents not to attack you while also inspiring them to attack one another! Jacks of all trades? Love that for them.

Edric, Spymaster of Trest : She's willing to give bitches the tea... in echange for a lil attacking.

Gahiji, Honored One : Who doesn't want to do more damage? Gahiji gives your bitches a boost. And your opponents', if they can prove they're on your side.

Curse of Bounty : Ya know what? I'm feeling generous today. Attack Stacey and no backswing for you!

Curse of Disturbance : Ya know what? I'm feeling generous today. Attack Stacey and you get another body.

Curse of Opulence : Ya know what? I'm feeling generous today. Attack Stacey and you can snag that bitch's jewelery. It's probably cheap shit anyway.

Curse of Verbosity : Trading tea is a lot of fun, and everyone can benefit. The key is always getting more than you give.

With so many creatures attacking, some are bound to come at you right? Wrong. Not if you have these bitches out, at least.

Kazuul, Tyrant of the Cliffs : Where do you stand on 3/3s, Stacey?

Michiko Konda, Truth Seeker : How many permanents do you wanna sacrifice, Stacey?

Ogre Slumlord : We all knew your creatures were a bunch of rats anyway, Stacey.

Windborn Muse , Ghostly Prison , Propaganda , and War Cadence : How much mana you wanna pay, Stacey?

Zurgo Helmsmasher : How's that backswing lookin, Stacey?

Crawlspace : Not like you could attack me anyway, Stacey.

Vedalken Orrery : I dunno, Stacey. What does my hand look like?

No Mercy : Touch me with that board and I cut it off, Stacey, I swear to God.

So you've got the basic gameplan but need more value! Have I got some cards for you?

Brutal Hordechief : ...What if all of them block the 1/1?

Sygg, River Cutthroat : Stacey's pain, your gain!

Tariel, Reckoner of Souls : I'm likin the look of that kraken. Let's take a shot at it. Oh yeah- and best not let your commander go to grave.

Tempt with Discovery : Ooh, you're mana screwed? Bummer!

Tempt with Vengeance : Quantity over quality!

Curse of Vengeance : Target the storm player.

Sometimes, you just gotta be a nice bitch. Will they think you've gone soft? Maybe. If they do, they'll be very surprised.

Humble Defector : Hey Rebecca, howsabout we trade some tea, sis?

Mathas, Fiend Seeker : So... nice creature you got there.

Pharika, God of Affliction : I wrecked your graveyard, Stacey. But look! I made you a snake!

Queen Marchesa : Yeah, sure, be monarch. Just be careful. It might cost you.

Selvala, Explorer Returned : Sure, everyone. Draw a card.

Vaevictis Asmadi, the Dire : I wrecked your 10/10, Stacey. But look! I made you a land!

Varchild, Betrayer of Kjeldor : Normally it's best to leave no survivors, but if you're getting them anyway...

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Date added 5 years
Last updated 5 years
Legality

This deck is Commander / EDH legal.

Rarity (main - side)

9 - 0 Mythic Rares

39 - 0 Rares

27 - 0 Uncommons

18 - 0 Commons

Cards 100
Avg. CMC 2.97
Tokens Assassin 1/1 B w/ Haste, Enchantment Snake 1/1 BG, Goblin 1/1 R for Goblin Spymaster, Gold, Ogre 3/3 R, Rat 1/1 B, Survivor 1/1 R, The Monarch, Zombie 2/2 B
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