Parley Girl's Hugging Contraption

Commander / EDH Combo Forcefeed Group Hug GW (Selesnya) Lifegain Mill

herpdederp92

Creature (25)

• 1x Arbiter of Knollridge
• 1x Dawnbreak Reclaimer
• 1x Devoted Druid
• 1x Elvish Archdruid
• 1x Elvish Mystic
• 1x Essence Warden
• 1x Gaea's Herald
• 1x Kami of False Hope
• 1x Llanowar Elves
• 1x Llanowar Scout
• 1x Marwyn, the Nurturer
• 1x Priest of Titania
• 1x Reclamation Sage
• 1x Seedborn Muse
• 1x Selesnya Guildmage
• 1x Selfless Squire
• 1x Shalai, Voice of Plenty
• 1x Soul Warden
• 1x Soul's Attendant
• 1x Temur Sabertooth
• 1x Veteran Explorer
• 1x Vizier of Remedies
• 1x Walking Atlas
• 1x Wirewood Channeler
• 1x Yisan, the Wanderer Bard

Sorcery (5)

• 1x Approach of the Second Sun
• 1x Collective Voyage
• 1x End Hostilities
• 1x Fumigate
• 1x Green Sun's Zenith

Enchantment (5)

• 1x Awakening
• 1x Dictate of Karametra
• 1x Mystic Barrier
• 1x Oath of Druids
• 1x Rites of Flourishing

Land (37)

• 1x Ash Barrens
• 1x Blossoming Sands
• 1x Command Tower
• 1x Desert of the Indomitable
• 1x Drifting Meadow
• 1x Evolving Wilds
• 8x Forest
• 1x Forge of Heroes
• 1x Mosswort Bridge
• 1x Mystifying Maze
• 1x Nephalia Academy
• 1x Opal Palace
• 1x Oran-Rief, the Vastwood
• 9x Plains
• 1x Reliquary Tower
• 1x Secluded Steppe
• 1x Sungrass Prairie
• 1x Terramorphic Expanse
• 1x Tranquil Expanse
• 1x Tranquil Thicket
• 1x Vitu-Ghazi, the City-Tree
• 1x Vivid Grove

Instant (8)

• 1x Angelsong
• 1x Benefactor's Draught
• 1x Dawn Charm
• 1x Ethereal Haze
• 1x Fog
• 1x Respite
• 1x Sundering Growth
• 1x Winds of Qal Sisma

Commander (1)

Artifact (19)

• 1x Bubble Matrix
• 1x Caged Sun
• 1x Elixir of Immortality
• 1x Ghirapur Orrery
• 1x Howling Mine
• 1x Isochron Scepter
• 1x Keening Stone
• 1x Otherworld Atlas
• 1x Paradox Engine
• 1x Seal of the Guildpact
• 1x Selesnya Signet
• 1x Sol Ring
• 1x Spectral Searchlight
• 1x Swiftfoot Boots
• 1x Sword of the Paruns
• 1x Temple Bell
• 1x Thousand-Year Elixir
• 1x Umbral Mantle
• 1x Venser's Journal

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Maybeboard

Artifact (4)

• 1x Aetherflux Reservoir
• 1x Alhammarret's Archive
• 1x Lightning Greaves
• 1x Staff of Domination

Instant (2)

• 1x Holy Day
• 1x Sylvan Reclamation

Enchantment (3)

• 1x Fight or Flight
• 1x Mana Reflection
• 1x Solemnity

Sorcery (1)

• 1x Hour of Revelation

Land (1)

• 1x Temple Garden

Creature (3)

• 1x Avacyn's Pilgrim
• 1x Fertilid
• 1x Melira, Sylvok Outcast

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Update: Currently disassembled.

Hello! I am a longtime casual commander player, and this is my Parley Girl group hug deck.

I explicitly announce before each game that I'm going to deal zero combat damage to my opponents, I'm going to destroy none of their permanents, and I'm not going to try to win. And I always keep that promise... right up until I break it.

Because nobody expects the Selesnya deck to run infinite forcefeed combos. That's just immoral or wrong or something.

Strengths of the Parley Girl Show

Selvala, Explorer Returned makes a surprisingly good commander even if you just want to swarm people with a ball of elves. In a 4-player game, her ability typically makes two or three green mana, and she fixes the primary shortcoming of most aggro decks by drawing you an additional card every turn. Imagine Priest of Titania had a baby with Kami of the Crescent Moon . Or a Howling Mine , although that seems highly improbable.

But I like Selvala better as a group hug commander. To pull off the strategy of seeming like a friendly, harmless deck that just wants to make allies, we have to follow one simple rule: EVERYBODY GETS TO PLAY MAGIC. That means we have to give everybody cards to play, we have to give everybody the mana to play them, and we have to play referee for the battlefield and make sure nobody gets knocked out of the game or worse, wins prematurely. And this means we have to gauge everybody's reaction to our actions and play politics, trying to seem nonthreatening while simultaneously amassing a Rube Goldberg machine of destruction that can end the game abruptly.

Sound like fun? You should play this deck if:

-You enjoy playing in games with more than 4 players.

-You enjoy table-talk and politics.

-Your playgroup has an "archenemy" that people love to side against.

-You like being sneaky and duplicitous

-You think building a Selesnya deck that revolves around artifacts is highly amusing. (Well, at least I do.)

The Forcible Hugging Machine Show

Our basic gameplan is to use Parley Girl to force-feed our opponents cards, cycling through their deck and "unintentionally" forcing them to discard down to hand size whenever possible. Opponents' opinions will probably range from 'mildly irritated' to 'grateful for the help', depending on their deck, although a few commanders like Nekusar, the Mindrazer and The Locust God may be ecstatic.

But remember, every time we tap Selvala, we also make some mana, and that mana can be fed back into various effects that untap her and let us use her again. Amusingly, since the exact amount of mana is undetermined until the ability resolves, we have to play everything out rather than just declaring "it's infinite" since there's always a chance everybody parleys into a land. Here's how we can take extremely long turns that feed everybody insane quantities of cards:

Umbral Mantle and Sword of the Paruns are the most obvious combo pieces. Equipping either to Selvala allows her to untap for three mana, which is about the average parley result. If we want to be extremely obnoxious, however, we can attach either sword to our big mana dorks: Marwyn, the Nurturer , Priest of Titania , Wirewood Channeler , and Elvish Archdruid , any of which will generate infinite mana once equipped if they are tapping for more than three green. Then we float a million mana, re-equip to Parley Girl, declare we draw our entire deck, drop our Elixir of Immortality , and pass the turn to any remaining opponents who didn't deck out in the process. Sounds irritating? Good.

Paradox Engine is the next-most obnoxious combo card. We can always keep tapping Selvala and playing whatever we topdeck, chaining through spells until we run out of mana. Simultaneously, this strategy untaps our other fun cards like Llanowar Scout and Thousand-Year Elixir . To turn this into an infinite-mana combo, we need Temur Sabertooth and a cheap creature to recast like an Essence Warden , so that our non-Selvala mana dorks can repeatedly tap for excess mana. Again, this results in everybody drawing their deck.

Seedborn Muse and Awakening untap Selvala on everybody else's turn too. While these cards make nothing resembling an infinite combo, they do allow us to force-feed everyone four extra cards before each of their turns. Expect Seedborn to get pathed a LOT, especially if she's untapping other power cards like Temple Bell or Yisan, the Wanderer Bard .

Finally, just when our opponents think they've weaseled out all of our stupid combos, we can drop Devoted Druid + Vizier of Remedies to again generate infinite green mana out of nowhere and make silly things happen.

Our cheeky win conditions Show

First and foremost, we can generate infinite green mana via a half-dozen mechanics, most of which also allow Parley Girl to forcefeed everybody their whole deck. Beyond the obvious win condition of having more cards left in deck than our opponents (which rarely happens), what else can we try?

Selesnya Guildmage can sink an infinite mana pool into an army of Saproling tokens, and Shalai, Voice of Plenty can slap infinite +1/+1 counters on all our creatures. With both in play, we have what is known in the business as "a strong bargaining position." Even without an infinite combo, these two do wonders at wasting unused mana from Parley Girl if we're just tapping her for the draw. Don't forget about the potential for infinite life from Soul Warden and her friends.

Approach of the Second Sun is probably the simplest alternate wincon, since it isn't very hard to cheese it out twice in the same turn. Cast Approach, use Parley Girl to draw seven cards, and cast it again to say game over.

Keening Stone is the last option after Approach and the most aggressive. After a few turns of drawing two, three, or even more cards off their decks, our opponents' graveyards should be filling up with discarded garbage. Drop Keening Stone and fire it at whoever has the biggest graveyard, and if possible untap it with Seedborn Muse or Paradox Engine and do it again. If they pull any shenanigans, tap Parley Girl and instantly draw them out with a mana ability.

How to make everybody like you Show

If we hug them just right, our opponents will turn a blind eye to our more blatant excesses because they want us to keep helping them. Remember the simple rule: Everybody gets to play Magic. Our group hug cards cater to this problem via two strategies; they enable everybody to play cards, and they prevent everybody from stopping the fun or ending the game.

ENABLING PLAYERS' DECKS:

Howling Mine An extra card draw each turn should keep everybody's hands full of fun cards.

Temple Bell Ditto but abusable with untaps.

Otherworld Atlas Ditto but on steroids.

Rites of Flourishing Also draws everyone extra cards, plus gives everyone an extra land drop each turn.

Ghirapur Orrery Another extra land drop each turn.

Veteran Explorer Two free lands for everybody.

Collective Voyage Because who wants to wait twenty turns to drop twenty lands? Let's go get 'em now.

Spectral Searchlight Aw, you need a mana? Just ask nicely and I'll help.

Dictate of Karametra Heck, you can have all the mana you'll ever need.

Oath of Druids This way, everybody has some creatures to mess around with. And if our opponents accidentally mill themselves 10 cards, well, that's not our fault, is it?

Awakening Because who doesn't love tapping all of their stuff? Now you can attack with everything and use all your mana and it untaps almost immediately. It's a Seedborn Muse for everybody! Hooray.

Forge of Heroes Your commander gets a counter, and YOUR commander gets a counter, and...

Oran-Rief, the Vastwood Ditto

PRESERVING THE FUN:

Gaea's Herald Nobody likes getting their Birds of Paradise countered .

Bubble Matrix Nobody likes getting their Birds of Paradise bolted .

Mystic Barrier Don't worry, we've got tons of life. The aggro guy is going to swing at us, not anybody else.

Mystifying Maze No worries, the attack won't go through anyway.

Arbiter of Knollridge Oh dear, that guy looks like he's in danger of getting knocked out of the game. Let's take him back up to 60 life.

Dawnbreak Reclaimer Wow, your foil Sheoldred, Whispering One sure is pretty, shame she died. Let's put her and my Veteran Explorer back into play, whaddya say?

Isochron Scepter Every instant in our deck can be imprinted on Isochron. Primarily, we're running a half-dozen instant fogs like Dawn Charm to check whether anybody forgot to include a more clever wincon than "whale on 'em with my commander." Alternatively, imprint Benefactor's Draught and use Isochron to untap Selvala a lot. It's no Dramatic Reversal but it's still funny.

Last but not least, as a concession to other combo decks, we run Fumigate and End Hostilities to get rid of creatures everybody hates and we run Sundering Growth and Reclamation Sage to get rid of artifacts & enchantments everybody hates . Destroying other players' stuff is pretty anti-fun, though, so be sure everybody's agreed on the politics of why it needs to happen so you don't make enemies.

The glue behind the scenes Show

In case it isn't obvious, this deck expects to spend a lot of time turtling and turbofogging behind a huge wall of mana, life, and cards. Here's how we make that happen.

First of all, we've got a ball of elves that make mana:

Selvala, Explorer Returned is pretty obvious, but if nothing else our commander is indeed a mana dork.

Llanowar Elves and Elvish Mystic

Devoted Druid

Marwyn, the Nurturer

Priest of Titania

Wirewood Channeler

Elvish Archdruid

Llanowar Scout and Walking Atlas give us free land drops.

Swiftfoot Boots and Thousand-Year Elixir let us use those mana abilities immediately.

On top of these dorks, we've got Sol Ring and whatnot for some artifact ramp:

Caged Sun typically doubles our white mana, since our creatures make tons of green.

Seal of the Guildpact makes all our spells one or two mana cheaper.

Our sources of lifegain are simplistic but effective:

Soul Warden , Soul's Attendant , and Essence Warden can sit around quietly and gain tons of life.

Venser's Journal uncaps our hand size like Reliquary Tower but also gains a huge chunk of life every turn.

Finally, we run a few tools specifically to accelerate our card advantage and our game plan:

Green Sun's Zenith fetches lots of fun creatures, e.g. Seedborn, Marwyn, Yisan, Sabertooth...

Yisan, the Wanderer Bard digs out little dorks and occasionally something powerful like Shalai, Voice of Plenty

Temur Sabertooth protects our power creatures from boardwipes and lets us reuse a few notable tools: Arbiter of Knollridge , Selfless Squire , and Reclamation Sage .

Finally, since we often have extra cards in hand and extra mana to burn, we're running lots of cards with cycling, including Angelsong and numerous cycling lands. The mana base isn't optimized at all, I know, but I'm actively working on improving it.

Date added	5 years
Last updated	4 years
Legality	This deck is not Commander / EDH legal.
Rarity (main - side)	1 - 0 Mythic Rares 36 - 0 Rares 20 - 0 Uncommons 25 - 0 Commons
Cards	100
Avg. CMC	2.97
Tokens	Saproling 1/1 G