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Calvinball

Commander / EDH* Casual Enchantment Group Hug Hive Mind Multiplayer Theme/Gimmick

dox

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Enchantment (21)

Instant (11)

Land (31)

Artifact (11)

Planeswalker (1)

Commander (1)

Commander: Maelstrom Archangel

Sorcery (15)

Creature (9)

Sideboard

Creature (1)

Maybeboard

Instant (6)

Creature (2)

Sorcery (1)

Enchantment (1)

Everything's made up and the points don't matter. The gods are dead.

Forget the doom and dread of mono-black, forget the big unstoppable beasts of Eldrazi. This deck is nihilism, this is entropy, this is eldritch horror.

This deck scrambles up the permanents in play, the spells everyone can cast, the phases of a turn, each player's autonomy on their turns, the relevance of lands/mana, and so on. The deck should make planning impossible, or at least irrelevant in the face of the cosmic unknowable upheaval of the board state from one turn to the next.

As the stars explode, as the heat death of the universe washes over all creation, this deck will help you surf those cosmic waves and hopefully stay just slightly better-off than your opponents. Those pitiable opponents... in the face of What Approaches, they are as apes in the dirt, concerning themselves with life totals, creature keywords, combat phases, and (god forbid) mana costs. And what will it earn them, at the end of time and space, as 1 approaches 0? Some barren final feckless consolation, "To the bitter end, I followed the rules."

While you and I, we ruled.

If your terrestrial play group won't let you use Maelstrom Archangel as a commander, swap in Progenitus. If they give you any lip, show them you mean business by flashing the Shahrazad on your hip.

There are a lot of other amazing cards that can completely change the way Magic is played, from an intricately-designed, mechanically rich card game into a silly nonsense world. Doubtlessly I'm missing some downright blasphemous cards and some deliciously eschatological combos.

And yo, I'd love your feedback! Right now I'm often struggling with getting enough mana on the first few turns. I'm really tempted to dump a few of the sorceries that help with creatures, like Clone Legion, in exchange for

a: some early game help, like Cultivate, or

b: weird win cons, like Phage the Untouchable, or

c: things that help you a bit more than they help others, like Paradox Haze.

Suggestions

Updates Add

New Answer — April 13, 2017
Edit

Swapped out Chaos Warp for Nix. It's more useful in my hands, and more in the spirit of the deck.

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