Pavel the Mighty, Hero We Deserve (Commander / EDH MTG Deck)

Pavel the Mighty, Grand Champion of Righteous Chaos, Revoker of the Mandate of Heaven, Bearer of the Hand of Doom! Bound to do evil and spread chaos in exchange for ultimate power, Pavel corrupted the deal such that he could atone, manipulating chaos to do good in the world and ceasing his evil ways. Pavel is a famed firebrand and outlaw, for his self-appointed burden is to challenge the authority of the corrupt, using the power of evil to do 'good', all in the name of maximum Chaos! Pavel is famed for traveling to areas with unfit leaders and publicly challenging their authority, giving them a time of reckoning if they don't abdicate. When the time of reckoning arrives, so does Pavel, and neither man nor barrier can keep him from meting out justice to the unworthy. With (potentially) infinite power at the tips of his fingers, it's no surprise when incredible things are written by the bards, tales of the brush Pavel's smallest finger slaying stalwart foes, of Pavel laughing in the face of certain death, even coming out unscathed standing against whole armies due to his unholy Gift. The power of Doom courses through his very being, and all unworthy leaders cower in fear at Pavel's name. Pavel's path is unique, he's firmly on the anarchy side of Libertarianism (Pavel is perhaps a Radical Egalitarian, if such a thing exists), and though his ends are always for the betterment of all (overall), his methods are sometimes suspect, so maybe have a Rule Zero talk before playing a deck like this!

Pavel may not look like much at first glance, but I loved the art, and the flavor text seemed to have more substance than many, so I thought it was a good pick for a Vorthos-leaning deck. Pavel represents a figure that brings absolute Chaos where he goes, much like many of my favorite characters from Russian novels, characters like Pechorin or Stavrogin. Both of those character would have to be a bit different today to work, and Pavel reflects this. Both represent a sort of extreme freedom, and are very 'larger than life', things this deck aims for. The Custom Headings can be switched to Type if that's more helpful, I think most of the headings are clear enough.

Collected Work of the Bards (WIP) Show

Pavel's Warning

Pavel's Warning to His Foes

And remember the wolves that you run with are wolves
Don't forget
They exist to give you something to regret,
I'll beat them to it
With something sadder than that brass portrait that shines through your morning din
With something sadder than that brass portrait that shines through your morning din
I'll give you something to be sad about
-The Spirit of Giving, The New Pornographers

Liberator, Pavel's Boombox

The Tale of Liberator, Pavel's Boombox

Imagine in your mind a posh country club
The stuffy old money where the poor gets snubbed
The spread is bland sauerkraut and boiled goose
There's no way these people will ever cut loose
But then I walk in the room, hold my boombox high
And what happened next, will blow your mind
Everything got outta control
The music was so entrancing
Everyone got out on the floor
It was a bunch of old white people dancing
-Boombox, The Lonely Island

Istvan the Undying's Ancient Prophecy

Istvan's Prophecy of the Rise of the Rakdos Superman

I heard the voice of the fourth Feminist Critical Theorist say, Come and see!
And I looked, and behold a pale green boar: and his name that sat on him was Chaos, and Doom followed with him
And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the Phyrexian Host, to kill with fist, and with fury, and with Doom, and with the Wrath of Nature.
-Liberally edited words of John of Patmos (?), all in good fun because some versions refer to a pale green horse, and Ilharg's got that brilliant light green mane.

Pavel's Proclamation

Pavel’s Proclamation to the Tyrant

Ye Tyrant Above!
Looking Down!
Corrupt!
Greedy!
Incompetent, Slothful, Selfish, Childish, And More!
Ye Who Abuse the Meek!
Ye Who Smite the Fallen!
The Wretches Who Lift those Burdened With Wealth!
How Could Ye Forget, God Forbids the Heavens to the Wealthy!
Let Those That Lift Only themselves Be Pushed Down!
Let Those Burdened With Wealth Stolen From the Vulnerable Drown In Their Foul Riches!
Let Those Who Hoist the Wealthy to Hurrah Be Bent Under Their Burden!
For Humanity is Equal, There No Greater Sin Than Placing Thyself Above, For Those Who Place Themselves High Shall Be Made Low, Lower Than They Were High, By The Hand of Doom

Short Primer Show

Only Human (Roleplay Primer) Show

The Promise of Evil (The First Pact) Show

While Pavel was stronger than any other human, he was wise and clever enough to realize he wasn't going to win at life by playing fair; he needed a leg up! His band was on hiatus at this time, after an exhausting (for a human) stretch of touring, and when Pavel realized he was broke, he went back to work in the mines of his allies, using his impossible strength to good effect; Pavel enjoyed this for a few reason. The first reason was that while touring, he'd missed the people he'd helped liberate, missed their stories, missed their revelries, and missed the random horrors they'd unearth along the way. Secondly, he missed the opportunity to use his strength, his gift from God, that let him do the work of a team of elephants without breaking a sweat, for when he used this divine gift he was able to relax, for this was how God had wished his gift used, to work for the benefit of himself and others. Finally, he missed the time to reflect that exertion gave him, to consider harder problems, and to sometimes, in time, find a solution. Thus Pavel simply got up and went on his way to the Dwarves, to work for a time and catch up with his old friends.

Pavel's theory proved good, and after a few months it dawned on him that he now missed the road, that he now missed touring with his band! This frustrated Pavel, as he remembered the dodgy places they'd had to play! Tiny venues, often smelly, and with an audience to DIE for (because they kept trying to kill him, since he was a human)! Thus Pavel was confounded, how could he go back on tour if his band would be constantly frustrated by the terrible venues (that again, kept trying to kill him), yet how could he abandon his plan of becoming famous and meeting his Idol?! Pavel toiled harder than ever, hoping against hope to come upon a solution, until the Mara began to visit him, trying to turn him away from his Gift, to stop relying on it, and instead rely on worldly things.

Pavel grew frustrated, but he couldn't find a good solution, not until one day, when he was opening his favourite novel when an old business card fell out, one he didn't even remember receiving! When he thought about it, he'd technically not bought the book new, so who can say? I mean he had read it before several times and the card never fallen out, but I digress! This card was a sight to behold, and Pavel doubted he should turn it over (the front was just a vivid images of wealth and comfort, mixed expressions of dominance and power, all of it quite tasteful he had to admit (and it looked very expensive). Pavel gave in and turned the card over and was shocked to read the name on the back: Kothophed, the Well Connected himself!? In shock Pavel staggered back, dropping the card and falling to his haunches gobsmacked, barely able to say the name out loud. Then, with a poof of smoke he appeared! In the, well, flesh and blood I guess?

"So, you're finally ready to make a deal I understand?" Asked the archfiend with his terrific booming voice.
"WHAT?!" Pavel shouted in horror, more than a bit afraid.
"Ah, so I'm here a little early I take it? No matter my boy, have a cigar..." said the fiend as he pulled a fine cigar from the tropical archipelago of some paradisiacal plane and handed it deftly to Pavel.
"How did you know I smoke? ...and where can I get more of these!" Pavel quickly puffed the fine cigar as he looked the imposing fiend up and down, taking his measure. The cigar was the best he'd ever had, though most of his had been poorer imitations, not masterworks like this! Pavel noticed then that the fiend was saying nothing, merely seeming to wait patiently for him to realize something.
"So, you said you were here because... I wished to make a deal?" Pavel asked the fiend, unsure and not eager to give offense.
"At last you ask..." said the fiend in a somehow murky voice, and he then detailed his offer to Pavel: Pavel's band would have it's pick of all the best venues, be they the fanciest parties, the poshest clubs, or the wildest outdoor festivals in the world, Pavel could have his pick! On top of that, Kothophed offered Pavel a new gift, one to compliment his divine one, one that would protect him from petty problems, and make him a fearsome foe to any who dare cross him. It was a veritable Promise of Power, all he had to do was sign here and he'd be on the path to make his wildest dreams come true!

I mean, who would say no, right? Pavel accepted, and began his new life, having made his first deal with Kothophed! Kothophed had only one stipulation in the deal by the way, that Pavel was bound to do evil with his power. Pavel balked at first, but he felt he could probably trick Kothophed eventually, but even if he couldn't it wasn't like he was losing out, and while he had a good heart, Pavel was fine with dark deeds he figured.

Second Time's the Charm? (Regrets? Too Few to Mention, Right?) Show

Welp, maybe I underestimated what an ARCHFIEND considers to be sufficiently evil to fulfill his contract? I mean yikes?

It wasn't terribly long before Pavel realized the deal would keep getting worse as long as he let it stand... even when he used his newfound power to do good things, the outcomes were weirdly weighted towards evil finalities, it went over time from frustrating to horrifying, and finally his band staged an intervention:

"Pavel, when you stopped me from leading the Phyrexians in an invasion you managed to get through to me, long after everyone that cared about me had been turned into body-horror nightmare fuel: let us get through to you! We care about you!" Tsabo Tavoc teared up a bit as she bared her soul to Pavel, the one who had shown her that Phyrexian was no perfection, and merely another patriarchal construct (note, not to be confused with this guy, but he's also not great), one more literal than most, and that she'd never be able to embrace her true feminine power until she shed Phyrexia and it's exploitative tenets.
"It was you who brought us from the woods Pavel, showed us that we didn't need to be a commune of hermits, and that we could perform blues rock wherever we damned well pleased! Listen to me, your uncle!" Uncle Istvan's beard waggled as he reached out emotionally.
Loud Shrieking Meanwhile Banshee screamed at Pavel and accidentally liquified a nearby chair with her voice, but her eloquent speech (Pavel obviously spoke Banshee fluently) finally broke through, and Pavel began to sob, first gently, with restraint and then it broke down ugly as he leaned on his band mates.
"You're right, things must change!" Pavel managed to get out between the tears and snot, but after they finally cried themselves out together, they began to think about a way they could, you know, stop serving Kothophed as his evil Avatar on Dominaria.
"You guys won't like it, but I think I have a plan...." Pavel finally said, after many drinks of fine sweet red wine, and between puffs of a thick cigar, he began to explain it, and in surprising detail. Pavel wasn't completely shocked when they did rebel against the plan, risky as it was, so Pavel began the next step, paying a visit to the most powerful witch in the land. They'd helped her out when Urza had tried to have her burned at a stake (she'd corrected him too many times in public apparently, and that made you a REAL witch I guess?), so she was eager to hear Pavel's plan.

"I think I have just the thing!" She said with a big, honest smile, as she rushed Pavel into her massive house, down through the numerous capacious basements, down in to the deepest sub-cellar. There she went to the further, dustiest corner, where they found another wine rack, one likely not disturbed for centuries.
"This is it!" She said, as she struggled to break the grip of a rotting skeleton with a silly outfit on (Pavel could have sworn she muttered something about being 'wronged'...) and Pavel tried to smile politely, not sure if the witch had finally lost her wits, but he knew her reputation so instead of walking out or being rude, he simply asked her what precisely she was showing him. He had asked her for help, not the other way around.
"Ah, right! Let me dust it off...." She said as he carefully brushed the dust off with a feather duster that appeared out of nowhere. Pavel didn't know how long it had taken the witch to convince phosphorescent fungus to grow in her cellar, so they didn't need lights, but it seemed worth it now, as he found he could see the label.
"Witch's Finest Brew? Okay, so we drink this and have a better idea?" He said, again trying to be polite. The witch laughed, but explained in a some depth that no, this wasn't meant for humans, and that even a tiny amount could leave one intoxicated for weeks, if not months. She'd made a huge batch ages ago, and used it to deal with problematic customers; those seeking ill for others tended to get their comeuppance with this witch! She went on to explain that a few times it had turned out that the men she'd been forced to use it on had been possessed by powerful demons at the time, and that even powerful demons fell drunk after a drink or two. Kothophed was very fond of good living Pavel knew, and often drank expensive alcohol to excess, both in bodies he possessed and in his own form, but that after tens of thousands of years, Kothophed's soul itself had built up a tolerance, and so he hadn't been drunk in so long he'd forgotten what it was like. The witch and Pavel hatched a plan together, to get Kothophed tipsy before their next 'contractual review', and that Pavel would edit the contract discretely, to somehow get out of his obligation to do evil for this, well, fiendish Prince of Evil.
"Perhaps evil's inability to control itself will be it's downfall?" Pavel muttered as he fell asleep the night before the plan was to be tried. Knowing worrying couldn't help, Pavel simply rolled over and forced himself to sleep, he'd need his wits about him for the next part!

As If It's Your Last (chance) (Because It Is!) Show

“This is not a good plan.” Pavel groaned as he slowly woke up. The friendly witch’s secret brew would have to work, or this accursed deal would keep corrupting everything he touched! The big question of course was whether not the drink was strong enough, and Pavel knew there could neither be a test run nor a second try; heck, if this failed Kothophed the Well-Connected would be making Pavel a lot less ‘well-connected’ to his limbs, and that’s if he’s lucky! This wasn’t a goon like Griselbrand, this was the sneakiest (and perhaps oldest) of the Archfiends, the plan didn’t just need to work, it would need luck if it was to succeed!

Pavel wasn’t sure how he could turn his luck around while he was building up nothing but bad juju due to his deal, but one way or another it was time, Kothophed would arrive within the hour! Fortunately the witch had everything ready for him, so he left her house and hurried to that certain crossroads where they ended up signing their first contract, the only place the fiend could make a physical manifestation, and there he waited, knowing it wouldn’t be long. Sure enough, it couldn’t have been 15 minutes before a strange smell began to tickle his nostrils, a scent reminiscent of smelters of the Dwarves, and a thin smoke began to appear from the center of the intersection. The various gibbets with their bony residents began to stir, and Pavel could swear he heard them moan softly, growing louder as the smoke thickened, and the faint scent grew into a real stench. Pavel watched as the hollowed sockets of the gibbet skeletons began to glow, and the moaning turned into a chant in a language Pavel recognized from his first meeting.

“I mean yeah, he’s an Archfiend, but does he have to be so creepy!?” Pavel muttered as the gibbets rattled and the earth slowly opened up, creating a portal to the underworld Kothophed called home, and Pavel could here clearly the anguished screams, as well as a loud voice berating and belittling them, reminding them of what got them where they were, for an Archfiend has no respect for the lowly and mean among the sinners, Pavel had heard him jokingly call them his ‘bread and butter’, that which keeps him and his technically fed. Pavel resolved once again not to fail!

“Nobody forced you to kill your brothers to take the crown, let alone to govern so poorly that the people revolted in less than a year!” Kothophed roared at a particularly piteous soul’s entreats, and Pavel remembered once again that he wasn’t trying to help these wretches, their petty evil damned them, that his fate would be different! The fiend drove the wretches away from him as he arose through the maw in the earth, and stepped physically onto the road, mere feet from Pavel. Pavel could feel the heat from the portal, but was secretly pleased that the portal quickly closed after Kothophed exited, this could only mean Kothophed meant to dally!

“Ah, Pavel my boy!” Roared the fiend, clearly happy to see him.

“Kothophed! So great to behold my dark master!” Pavel said, not even lying. He was happy to see the fiend, because if the demon didn’t trust him enough the plan would never work. Pavel was surprised as the fiend began with some ‘small talk’ (by Hell’s standards), and Pavel was more surprised to realize he enjoyed aspects of their relationship, Kothophed was a bad guy obviously, but that didn’t mean he was a… bad guy? Well, if the demon was comfy that was a boon for his plan! Pavel and the fiend fell into joking, and Kothophed revealed how pleased he was with their deal. Pavel sensed an opportunity, and he questioned the Archfiend about his feelings to find out what the fiend would need in order to honour a new ‘deal’. During the questioning Pavel had his realization, the one that would save his plan: the Archfiend didn’t merely care about evil, he exulted in the general mayhem caused by Chaos as well, seeing it as an equal.

“In case you’re getting hoarse, I’ve found something special for you…” Pavel said, and revealed the large bottle from the witch. Kothophed’s eyes lit up (as in actual light), and the two got out a couple cups. Pavel first served the Archfiend a massive goblet of the strange wine. Kothophed took it with deft care, and gracefully lifted it to his snout to inhale the delicate aroma. “Ahhh… I haven’t smelled anything quite like this in eons!” sighed the Archfiend as he cautiously swirled the liquid around, testing it’s viscosity and body. “Yes my boy, you’ve done well!” cried the demon as he took a sip. The fiend savoured the wine, taking his time before swallowing and continuing, “Yes, you’ve done very well!” exclaimed the fiend.

“Glad you like it!” Pavel said with a smile as he carefully poured a different wine (designed to look similar) into his own cup, and enjoyed a drink of his own. He had to admit the Witch knew her way around wine! The two continued to talk shop for another hour, fortunately nobody came by this way at night, what with the reputation for haunting (and the gibbets), so the two had privacy. Finally, after more than half of the bottle was gone, Pavel noticed that Kothophed’s jokes were getting a bit sloppy, and then he saw that the Archfiend’s eyes were drooping a bit! In another half hour the fiend had passed out completely, and Pavel quickly set to work on his contract! Pavel found the small ink vessel (which was a mix of both Pavel and the fiend’s blood, which served as ink) and set to reworking the contract. Pavel knew he wouldn’t have long, but the changes weren’t that involved, merely a few words here and there, and voila! Now, Pavel had a contract that bound him to bring about only Chaos in the world, not Evil, and Pavel knew he was ready, so he carefully woke Kothophed (who having not passed out in many thousands of years didn’t realize he’d completely lost consciousness).

“Hhuh? Wha? Oh, that wine my boy, what wine!” Kothophed said as he struggled to regain his wits. Pavel didn’t give him the time, and instead insisted that more time had passed than either had realized, and that both had important things to do! In his confusion Kothophed didn’t think to argue (time had obviously passed, and the Archfiend indeed had souls to hoard!), he simply signed his part of the contract, still unread. As soon as Kothophed’s mark was complete, the writing began to glow, and Kothophed visibly startled as he intuitively knew he’d been tricked, and by an unemployed human!

“Ah, perhaps this will also be interesting? Just a word of advice before I leave, if you tell anything how you tricked me I’ll skin you alive over the course of a century.” Pavel politely agreed, and he offered Kothophed the other bottle of wine the witch had sent in case one bottle wasn’t enough, which the fiend gratefully accepted. The two exchanged some more jokes, and it was clear that Kothophed truly was more amused than angry, surely such interesting things happened rarely to a being so rarefied in nature! Kothophed then left in a puff of smoke, and Pavel’s new contract began!

Scavenging the Brawler Show

Scavenged Brawler is a very good card in here, so I felt it deserved a back story! Think of it like a better Iron Man suit that Pavel uses when he needs it, because dudebro over here seems a bit subpar compared to Pavel the Mighty, even if he's quite a bit richer.

Meeting Pavel's Fate Show

Pavel starred down the ancient automaton; he had no clue where it came from, or how it got here, but whatever sent it would need to wait! As soon as the Dwarves uncovered the thing with their mining operations, it seemed to come alive, and after breaking fully free it went Berserk, and the desperate Dwarves sent for Pavel to stop the menace before any more civilians were killed.

Pavel knew he had more than enough raw strength, but this thing could always see him coming somehow, was always prepared, and when pressed it just flew away from him. Pavel knew he needed help if he was going to stop this mechanical horror, but he had come alone!

“By the might of my thews, this wretch will be the end of me!” Pavel cried, driven to despair as the golem evaded him once more. Even the Hand of Doom required him to actually TOUCH the stupid thing, and that wasn’t going to happen as long as the thing’s sensors could detect his abilities. Pavel sat to plan his next course of action with a crestfallen expression, knowing it could take days for anyone capable of helping him solve this problem to arrive; then Pavel smelled it. His head lifted from his hands as his eyes lit up and nostrils flared.

“What a divine aroma…” Pavel pondered, unsure of the source, or if he was simply imagining it: Pavel had traveled pretty far and pretty wide with The Carnival, but he’d never smelled such a thing. As he looked around he noticed someone stepping out of an especially deep shadow, an enchantingly beautiful woman, such that Pavel wondered if she was some manner of Fae, or something much darker, but when he saw the strange flower she held he knew it was his idol, at last! Unfortunately for Pavel he was a bit dumbstruck by it all.

“…You do speak?” She said in pure but nuanced voice, the likes Pavel had never heard before. Finally he spoke, clearly still gobsmacked.

“You speak my language?!” Pavel was incredulous, and still processing all this, but after an awkward pause he continued. “I’m so glad you’re here, there is golem tearing apart villages, I can’t catch it unprepared on my own, but maybe we can stop it together?” He asked, having remembered himself, and the actual lives at stake (that greatly outweighed his celebrity obsession)!

“Yes, that’s why I came, from the shadows I saw your struggle; I also came to remind you to be better prepared, because you’re struggles happen due to poor planning! Pavel, you mean well, but are so hot-headed that your good will turns to ill fortune for all!” She spoke with fire, but out of clear concern for everyone’s wellbeing. Her immaculate features softened and she smiled before continuing.

“Let us use subterfuge…” She said, and quickly explained her plan to Pavel. The plan wasn’t too complex, she’d use her magical camellia flower to perfume to Pavel, such that even the robot would be unable to resist him, and would be forced to come and attack him. Then, Pavel would use the Hand of Doom to smite the pesky robot with impunity! Pavel knew this would work, so they set off quickly to the next village over, where smoke was beginning to rise above the town. It was a relief when the plan quickly was a success, and Pavel graciously thanked his idol, only to find out (to his great chagrin) that she was too busy to stay! Pavel groaned, but waved as she hurried to an especially deep shadow and disappeared into it, leaving only the scent of her flower behind.

Pavel was elated to have met her, but a bit dejected that she had to leave so quickly; he naturally wondered if he’d given offense. After a few minutes thought, Pavel just shrugged and moved on with life: if she’d seen fit to aide him in a time of need once, she may well again, and perhaps next time she could hang out after! A man can dream, right? Pavel looked at the smote golem before him, and had an idea. He went to the survivors and requested several potato sacks, which were happily provided after he explained they could be empty, because he needed them to gather up the parts from this contraption, lest it fall into the wrong hands! Having seen it’s abilities, the folk were happy to be rid of it, and even helped Pavel collect and bag the broken body. Within 2 hours Pavel was on his way back to the mines with his Dream Salvage and a plan.

When he arrived the Dwarves were relieved that both Pavel was unharmed and the golem stopped. When they saw the broken remains however, they got VERY excited. It took them many months, but eventually the Dwarves made a special ‘suit’ out of the thing for Pavel to use, one that significantly increases his combat abilities, and that tessellates into smaller components that can easily be carried in a smallish sack (that weighs close to half a ton, not an issue for Pavel obviously). Pavel was grateful, and set to work using his knew power to do deeds of ever Greater Good!

The Dwarves' Suit Proves it's Worth Show

When Pavel first beheld the pile of bits the Dwarves insisted was a Power Suit, he tried to smile politely, he honestly didn't think it looked all that different from when he'd dumped the suit out; at least they'd move it? That's something? The dwarves recognized the look from when they'd assign an especially onerous task in their mines, and they quickly explained, that no, this wasn't a pile of junk, this was everything they'd promised him!

"So you're saying this will let me fly?" Pavel asked incredulously while holding up what appeared to be the end of one of the suit's arms, when suddenly a blade popped out and sliced through a solid rock, revealing a geode! Pavel dropped it in shock, and the Dwarves laughed.

"It'll do more than that! That blade can cut through darksteel, it'll make quick work of about any foe you can imagine! It'll also restore your life force, and with it's weird magic it can keep a sentry alert indefinitely! We kept Miner Todd on watch for close to a month! Never even went completely insane!" The foreman explained, clearly proud of his men's work on the suit. Seeing some doubt in Pavel's stately visage, he motioned to an especially dwarf to bring an implausibly dense part, and even the girthy dwarf struggled visibly, but when he arrived Pavel suspected it was a power source! "That and more!" Said the foreman, as he motioned to Pavel to hold it in his hand. It even fit comfortably!

"Now, press the buttons in this order..." the foreman explained, and as Pavel went through the handful of steps the lumpy part began to glow, then hum, then crackle, then spark, and finally, with the last step, there was a loud bang and a brilliant light. Almost before Pavel realized it, the suit had come to life, and began to attach to the part, then quickly ensconced him as the tessellations came together. The dwarves cheered as the suit finished assembling, a complete success, even on Pavel's larger frame!

"...I feel like you could have warned me?" Pavel dully said, not quite in shock but very close. "Well, how do I fly!?" Pavel exclaimed, now excited by the potential of his new, well, toy! The view from the suit was odd, but he noticed quickly that it combined excellent visibility with a strange display, one that seemed able to analyze things for him, and Pavel wondered just what this thing was capable of!

"Just verbalize it in your head with complete confidence!" The foreman smiled, though he'd forgotten that humans tend to lack the singleminded confidence of a dwarf, and thus Pavel had to practice for a not insignificant period of time, until finally he got it! As he flew about, he felt the thrill of newfound power, yet he also hungered for an opportunity to test it! Then he remembered the old Gate to Phyrexia he'd found, in the deepest part of the the dirtiest mine! He'd go pay the original maker of the suit, and see if they like the Dwarves' improvements! "Well, it's your funeral Pavel, but if you make it back try to keep the suit intact!" With that the foreman went off to visit the local tavern, to get a pitcher of beer, leaving Pavel to make his plan.

Pavel's plan came together fairly quickly, but he knew he would want some manner of support, so he contacted the Feminist Critical Theorists, and the ones that were available agreed to help, Drana and Jaya soon arrived, both eager to repay the Phyrexians for their depredations! As the trio prepared to cross throught the portal one more ally arrived, Sarkhan the Magnificent, along with his Clown Car Full of Dragons, and with renewed confidence the party went through the gate, though it be blacker than pitch and none of them having ever actually seen something come through. Fortunately for them it wasn't an ancient garbage dump, but a weird and almost lush environs, but as Pavel looked closer at the rain tha gently fell he began to realize the rain was some strange oil: Pavel resoled to leave quickly as possible, after they'd had an opportunity to wreck the place up a bit!

The group (wisely) didn't separate, and as they went through the plane they came across more and more evidence that nothing here truly lived, it was all mechanical horror show. The group finally came across a facility of sorts, and with a smile (from under his suit) Pavel unleashed his new power, blasting into the building. After he smashed through the group began to hear a strange sound, like some unnatural klaxon, and a loud rumbling could be heard through the weirdly unnatural 'earth' they stood on. The group, not sure what could be coming felt the better part of valor was called for, at least until they see what they're up against! After a couple minutes a thing, bigger than Pavel believed could exist as a moving creature, arrived. It quickly investigated, and within a matter of seconds it clearly had spotted the party! With a start Pavel leapt into the air, flying straight towards the beast's head! as Pavel flew by he gave it a slash, an act of aggression that the creature barely registered. Pavel was much faster than the colossal brute, but he had no desire to test the suit's durability vs such a being! Thankfully the group members each did their thing, and between the various attacks, the creature was unable to swat any of them out of the air! Finally Pavel had had enough, and with a flash of lightning the Hand of Doom was upon him, and he flew straight at the Phyrexian horror! Pavel's suit amplified the fury of his howl, and the group watched in awe as Pavel slammed square into the Phyrexian, blasting clear through it!! Pavel and the group had a quick celebration before heading back through the Gate, to the depths of the Mine, to enjoy a few beers (and maybe some blood, depending on tastes) to celebrate properly! The last to return was one of Sarkhan's Dragons, but she brought with her a fancy relic! Surely such a pretty thing couldn't be dangerous, so Pavel shrugged and they brought it to the Dwarves, that they might inspect it. Pavel again thanked his lucky stars that Sarkhan had been available when the Dwarves first woke the dragons in the depths of their mines, they certainly earned their keep today!

Apologetics Show

Vorthos Headings Show

Feminist Critical Theorists

Don't Mess With the Girls, With the Girls, With the Girls, Hey!

Various gurus that advise Pavel during his Travels, they often show up and give aide. All are terrifying in their own way (with that way generally being to either kill or profit off of death). Any of these being out can be a big deal and exert a lot of control over the board.

Battery Ramp

This deck has access to multiple very old school mana stockpiling cards, I might keep adding to this aspect, as it seems to synergize well with the high likelihood of being stuck with high mana cost stuff clogging my hand, these can power something big out. Being able to recast Pavel after repeatedly wiping the board is actually a part of this deck's function, and these cards play into that nicely. The deck also likes to just have gobs of mana stored up to make use of with Pavel's ability, and the deck has enough big cards that some games it will be helpful even if Pavel is unavailable.

Occult Pact

Pavel's Occult Pact, in which he made an especially sneaky deal with a very powerful demon. He was gifted with great power by Kothophed the Well Connected, in exchange for creating chaos in the world by passing himself off as a doer of good deeds. The key to pulling off the scheme was brewing up an incredible batch of mead for Kothophed. Using the help of a witch he brewed a draught that even a demon would be intoxicated by, yet made it such that the effect was slow and subtle, thus rendering the normally astute fiend vulnerable to a... questionable deal. When Kothophed sobered up, he had a good laugh with Pavel and agreed to honour it on the grounds that it at least furthered Chaos.

Wrath of Nature

Pavel's Pact has bound him to the plane in a profound way, and his weird magic has wrought changes, now even the plane acts to protect him from meddlers. A lot of this stuff is meant to deter Blue decks, but it's all 'nature' feeling stuff, and represent Nature itself turning againset Pavel's enemies (for their hubris).

Rock Band

Pavel has a band that he sometimes travels with, it was part of why he ended up signing with Kothophed, he had great connections for venues. Anyways, if it's not obvious Istvan is on the ax, Tsabo can handle several drum kits with all those extra limbs and genius intellect, while The Banshee herself is the screaming lead vocalist. Pavel can technically fill in for any of the others (and does if people are 'exhausted'), but his specialty is deep vocals. He can't sing as high as The Banshee, but he can sing high enough if they can first sing the low stuff and get the crowds a bit hammered.

Politics of Chaos

These cards represent the influence Pavel has with his ability to spread Chaos in his wake. Many of these cards are a bit (or very) random, many are hard to exploit, but they also tend to be fun.

Trolls Never Die

These cards all troll hard and keep coming back to drive your opponent up the wall. These cards are lots of fun with wipes!

Find Out, Fashion Statement, Bodyguard

Various cards that are mostly Vorthos-y, these are grouped in loose associations that should be self-explanatory (Bodyguard stuff protects you, Fashion Statement stuff looks cool, and Find Out is for the stuff that'll mess you up good if you underestimate it).

Friend of Little People

Pavel has many connections among the dwarves, having amused even their best smiths by by being able to break literally any chain, no matter how strong. The Dwarves often dig for resources (possibly where someone else had an impressive structure), but sometimes dig up Dragons (or worse!)! Pavel finds that even their disasters tend to work out in the end, so he continues to work with them, and has been known to hook them up with top grade vegetables.

The Legends Best Phyrexia

This Swamp is in remembrance for the fallen during the various invasions by the Phyrexians that the Legends drove back, even into Phyrexia itself, with The Rakdos Superman himself leading the charge! The image features Pavel the Mighty flying through a monumentally big Phyrexian.

Clown Cars Full of Dragons

These guys ended up in an act in the circus part of the Carnival, where Sarkhan the Magnificent would use his magic to cause mighty dragons to appear out of nowhere. His fellows referred to his act as the Clown Car Full of Dragons, as for years his dragons kept eating circus goers; they had a system, where one dragon would make a big display, then when everyone was distracted another dragon would grab someone from the back! "Clever girl!" Sarkhan used to say, and I think it checks out.

Queen of K-Pop

Cards devoted to Pavel's idol, represented by Kiku, Night's Flower. There could be more here as time goes on.

The Singletons

Various cards that fill a roll in the deck, most are references to cool things.

MTGRemy References

This deck's sleeves are the MTGRemy Sven's Comics & Lutefisk, which seem to do a good job. The deck also references one of his songs, Doom Doom Doom Doom, which is about running too much removal in Magic. It also references The Gift. In cannon Pavel is a 'to-the-death' friend of Sven, having spent a winter with him in the frozen northlands, eating lutefisk, reading comics, and overthrowing despots, as two good friends tend to share their interests.

Pavel's Coven

Pavel has some elements of vampirism from his pact with Kothophed, to help keep him from dying due to the constant loss of life energy intrinsic to most demonic pacts, culminating in The Hunger of the Ancient One, AKA he's an equal to the First Vampire, which allows Pavel to gain strength from his enemies' set backs. Due to this connection to the community he is on great terms with several other vampires, several well versed in critical theory!

Suggestions

Updates Add

Ch-ch-ch-ch-CHANGES... — March 3, 2026

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I mean who DOESN'T want to face the strange, right? Anyways, I switched out Thieves' Auction (ignore me sobbing), There and Back Again (more sobbing), and Tainted Peak for Unholy Annex (this also makes a 6/6 flyer, but it can gain life and cards, so that's a better effect most of the time), Plargg and Nassari (this card is BONKERS, and it's super political), and Lazotep Quarry (in case I need a Mummy).

Edit: Would Diaochan, Artful Beauty make sense in here? Apparently she could sing and dance exceptionally well, so that seems relevant, and she can also blow stuff up AND play politics, all of which also seems relevant.

Now Here Me Out... — Aug. 12, 2025

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Don't Mean a Thing if it Aint Got That Swing — Dec. 20, 2024

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Exactly How Strong Is Pavel? — Oct. 15, 2024

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Consulting Phoenix — Aug. 23, 2024

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I Mean, People Run Creatures, Right? — Feb. 23, 2024

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Vorthos Adjustments? — June 5, 2023

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2 Card Switcheroo — Feb. 13, 2023

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The Banshees of Dominaria — Jan. 31, 2023

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An Example of a Very Good Card — Aug. 11, 2022

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95% Casual

Competitive

Date added	4 years
Last updated	4 hours
Exclude colors	WUG
Splash colors	BR
Legality	This deck is Commander / EDH legal.
Rarity (main - side)	5 - 1 Mythic Rares 59 - 2 Rares 21 - 0 Uncommons 5 - 0 Commons
Cards	100
Avg. CMC	3.92
Tokens	Copy Clone, Demon 6/6 B, Demon / B, Dragon 4/4 R, Elemental 5/1 R, Morph 2/2 C, On an Adventure, Zombie 2/2 B
Folders	Deck Inspiration, EDH, Funny, uwu, Other Peoples decks to use for ideas, Decks I like, EDH / Outros, Decks legais, Fun for me, not for bee, Deck
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