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This ain't no free hug, love fest… Politics matter with the Gluntch-Punch. Some of our opponents will be "showered with affection". Other, less-fortunate opponents will watch, while being “starved for affection”. I’m giving away hugs like they're popsicles at summer camp! You can have one too, if you make a deal.

Thanks for looking. I'd love suggestions and an upvote if you like the deck.

We pick ourselves for the parts we need the most. We pick 2 other players who want to make a deal with us and give them a hug. We pick a 4th player to get left out in the cold watching us open our presents. Here's the cards that hug:
Flumph attack me and we both draw a card.
Heartwood Storyteller & Zenith Chronicler just a couple fun little helpers!
Hunted Wumpus everyone gets to play a creature!
Magus of the Vineyard everyone gets two extra broccoli to use.
Master of Ceremonies lots of words, lots of stuff.
New Frontiers lets load up on lands.
Pulsemage Advocate Here's 3 cards from your graveyard that you can play again!
Selvala, Explorer Returned Lets all draw a card!
Tempting Wurm Dump your hand into the battlefield!
Heartbeat of Spring tap a land for mana and add an extra 1 mana of that color.
Collective Voyage Let's go get a bunch of lands and play them! Get this party started!
Weird Harvest Let's go find all the creatures we want and put them in our hand.

You get this but you can't do something to me because of it... cards:
Nils, Discipline Enforcer got some 1:1 counters? Can't attack me.
Orzhov Advokist want some 1:1 counters? Can't attack me.
Tempting Contract Want a treasure? Go ahead and make 1. I want some too.
Promise of Loyalty Thin the herd and the ones that stay can't attack me.

Everyone likes drawing cards! We're here to have fun. Here's the hand-fillers.
Howling Mine Draw 2 each turn.
Horn of Greed Play a land? Draw a card while you're at it!
Cut a Deal Let's draw more cards!
Secret Rendezvous Want some cards? Me too!
Truce lets draw and maybe some life stuff.
Rites of Flourishing DRAW MORE CARDS!!!
Esper Sentinel You ain't gonna pay.
Gluntch loves hugs! Sometimes so much that he doesn't let go. Here's when hugs start to hurt:
Black Vise Damage for cards in hand over 4.
Wolfcaller's Howl I get wolf tokens for cards in hand over 4.
Viridian Revel Sac a treasure (or other artifact)? I'm drawing cards.
Smuggler's Share You got stuff, now I get stuff.
Let's make a deal!
Duelist's Heritage Hit this person and I will give your creature double strike.
Maze of Ith I can stop this... but what's in it for me?
Jailbreak Let's get some of our stuff back from the graveyard... But what's in it for me?
Gluntch, the Bestower If you want stuff, what's in it for me?
I'm hoping to turn my opponents on each other and then swoop in to kill the last one standing. But here's a couple game-enders, just in case. So, not super-fun or even mildly gratifying ways to win:
Approach of the Second Sun In like 3 or 4 turns, I win
Felidar Sovereign Next turn I win

Not in build but could/should be:
Wedding Ring, Smothering Tithe, Mind's Eye, Approach of the Second Sun
How to: Married person can't have open mana. I draw, wedding ring triggers- they draw, smothering tithe & Mind's Eye trigger. Use the treasure from tithe to pay for mind's eye, drawing again. Use this to dig for approach of the second sun. Play it, bury it, draw 7 more cards and cast it for the win. (credit for this move belongs to User: JaceTehAce74 on Reddit r/mtg)

It's good to have protection in case they decide the hugs are getting a little uncomfortable. Here's ours:

Blazing Archon It's big, it flies, and creatures can't attack me.
Spore Frog Fog but frog.
Wandering Archaic   Copy some spells if they don't pay their bills.
Windborn Muse creatures can't attack me unless their controllers pay 2.
The Wanderer Prevent all noncombat damage to me and my stuff.
Beast Within & Generous Gift Ain't that thing anymore...
Path to Exile & Return to Dust & Swords to Plowshares By by threat.
Privileged Position permanents have hexproof.
Winds of Abandon spot removal or stronger as needed.
Austere Command lets kill some stuff.

Sol Ring You may have heard of this one.
New Frontiers this makes us land buddies!
Skyshroud Claim lands
Three Visits lands
Birds of Paradise and Avacyn's Pilgrim tap for mana.

Spicy cards to consider (not currently in build):
Strionic Resonator, Combat Calligrapher, Anointed Procession, Authority of the Consuls
Cards to swap when my TCG order shows up:
Hunted Wumpus swap to Battle Angels of Tyr
Helm of Awakening swap to Strionic Resonator
New Frontiers swap to Authority of the Consuls
Sungrass Prairie swap to Temple Garden

Thanks for looking!

**

My Decks

**

"Don't send a spell to do a creature's job" Meren
Death and Taxes Collection Agency
From Undead to Unstoppable: Rise of a Zombie Lord
Scarab God - gravedigger’s paradise
Syr Konrad Milling & Killing - Primer
Zombie-thicc Muldrotha
Volo deck doing Volo stuff
Myr-ly a Token Engine - Urtet WIP
Di-Had-a'nuf or you hungry for more?
Purphoros, bad deck, mess you up!
Gluntch, the Negotiator (primer)
Chatterfang, Scurry of Squirrels- Primer
Atraxa, Profoundly Proliferated
Gisa & the kids that got picked last in dodgeball
Gisa & Geralf's nifty little undeath machine
Fear the Reaper
Xyris, rider of wheelies
Voltraxa, friends & auras
This Breya deck is getting better
Close the beaches #seamonsters
Omnath mean, green hellybean
Meren SBA

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Top Ranked
Date added 8 months
Last updated 1 month
Legality

This deck is Commander / EDH legal.

Rarity (main - side)

1 - 0 Mythic Rares

52 - 0 Rares

17 - 0 Uncommons

9 - 0 Commons

Cards 100
Avg. CMC 2.96
Tokens Beast 3/3 G, Citizen 1/1 GW, Copy Clone, Elephant 3-3 G, Rabbit 1/1 W, Spirit 1/1 C, Treasure, Wolf 2/2 G
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