As in, There Can Only , the next in an illustrious line of decks centered around silly mana restrictions. In this case, there is only generic CMC in the whole deck; the rest can paid for with .
It used to be full-on exclusively colored mana costs, but that's when I realized the deck also made a perfect home for a famously abysmal card I have been trying to break for years. Yes, not only is this another gimmicky CMC-centric joke deck, but this is also a shell for a
Carnival of Souls
combo.
The Premise
Glancing at the commander, this is a dimir deck. But look anywhere else -- the lands, the spells, the anything -- and it reveals itself to be an unorthodox mono-black deck. Aside from the aforementioned Carnival, every spell in our deck requires . Keeping on-theme limits our purely black options to
Kiku, Night's Flower
and
Kuon, Ogre Ascendant
, both of whom are narrow and underpowered (but decent in the 99). Sygg has a much more incidentally useful ability while also expanding our card base, allowing us to play dimir hybrid cards.
Reaper King
could have potentially been another general that would bring in all other manner of other hybrid cards, but the s in his hybrid CMC were too much of a breach of the restriction to sit comfortably with me.
Another grey area was spells, and ultimately I decided that X is not a number. As it would be equal to 0 in every location other than the stack, it should likewise be legal here. This may not be everyone's interpretation of the letter of the law, but this is my deck and I decide that letter, which in this case is X. Plus, it gives us a little bit more legs in the late game.
The Cards
Our mana curve skews super cheap, by virtue of eliminating generic mana costs (nearly) altogether, so we can safely trim the land count to fit more efficient removal, low-impact 1 drops, and assorted asassins-matters jank.
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The "Combo" and the reason we are an awkward deck instead of a nice .
Carnival of Souls
is our perfect little blemish, the missing link to a deck that I had been brewing for months that needed a clean finisher. And we are so close without it, too!
Gravecrawler
in conjunction with
Viscera Seer
,
Deathgreeter
, and a random zombie nets us one life and one scry for every black mana we spend. With
Carnival of Souls
, we lose that one life and gain the mana back. Which gives us infinite deaths and infinite scries. Switch
Viscera Seer
with
Carrion Feeder
and you get one large sucker. And then... that's it. Without any type of Blood Artist/Clone effect at B, BB, BBB, or so on, unfortunately the value train stops there. We have to start paying additional mana or life for game-turning advantages like draw-locking opponents with
Thoughtpicker Witch
or massive draw from
Dark Prophecy
. (Edit: I figured out how to break it!
Bridge from Below
was the key. See the update below)
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"Threats" in this deck are nontraditional, especially for EDH.
Dark Ritual
into
Phyrexian Obliterator
can be as good as it gets here. With a mono-devotion deck,
Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx
can occasionally act like a Turn 4
Temple of the False God
, but other times can power out massive
Dread Summons
or a kicked
Sadistic Sacrament
.
Temporal Extortion
hopefully tricks an opponent to pay half their life, otherwise it's probably an
Explore
. And then there is everyone's favorite finisher, a pumped
Dread Shade
topped off with an unexpected
Tainted Strike
.
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Draw is thankfully somewhat decent.
Necropotence
needs no 'splanation,
Cryptbreaker
synergizes with our other zombies when it isn't making its own,
Dark Prophecy
and
Vampiric Rites
let us draw off of an aristocrats plan,
Damnable Pact
and
Sign in Blood
are strong single-uses, and
Deadeye Tracker
draws lands or bins creatures for our...
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Recursion suite.
Bloodghast
and
Gravecrawler
bring themselves back for very little cost, while
Dread Wanderer
and
Bloodsoaked Champion
come back for a bigger expense.
Unearth
hits nearly every creature in the deck,
Tortured Existence
lets us rebuy value creatures while binning something like a Bloodghast,
Death Denied
scales into the late game, and
Profane Command
is all about dat versatility.
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Discard. Unsurprisingly, discard is a common theme among cheap, efficient black spells. We run the good, repeatable, or scaling ones.
Scepter of Fugue
,
Ghastlord of Fugue
,
Dimir Guildmage
,
Raven's Crime
,
Hymn to Tourach
,
Mind Twist
. Also sorta in this category are
Pox
and its little brother
Smallpox
, which are also an antidote to decks that will inevitably ramp harder and play higher quality cards.
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Aristocrats is another plan our available card pool lends itself to. Like discard, it's all about grinding out the bigger, better decks with recursive creatures and sacrifice outlets like Thoughtpicker Witch and
Plagued Rusalka
. Witch backs up the discard plan by locking out the good cards from future draws, while Rusalka chips away at our opponent's board.
Geralf's Messenger
has some extra synergy with Sygg, and
Kuon, Ogre Ascendant
can be a legitimately powerful control piece.
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Ramp. Slim pickings in the numberless ranks. No artifact mana, except Everflowing Chalice (everflowingly useless) and
Astral Cornucopia
.
Bubbling Muck
is great, and
Dark Ritual
is less great but can power out early plays.
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Removal. Our heftiest, healthiest cluster of spells, from
Tragic Slip
to
Fatal Push
, from
Kiku, Night's Flower
to
Gatekeeper of Malakir
.
Marsh Casualties
is sort of a wrath... sort of... yeah.
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Two, Count Em, Two Tribes! There are plenty of Zombies in the deck, with synergistic cards like
Relentless Dead
,
Zombie Trailblazer
, and
Dark Salvation
holding them all together. Far more interesting and weaker are our assassins!
Scarblade Elite
is our one and only payoff card, but we support it with incidental assassins that are quarterway decent on their own like
Garza's Assassin
and
Guul Draz Assassin
.
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The Rest.
Bloodchief Ascension
is an absolute house, synergizing with our commander and threatening to kill opponents on its own, and we are lucky that we can play it.
Dauthi Slayer
is an unblockable creature that dings opponents for two, working well with our commander if not all-the-way-there.
Withered Wretch
is graveyard hate,
Undying Evil
is creature protection,
Vampire Hexmage
hates on planeswalkers and other random permanents,
Gifted Aetherborn
blocks and gains a little life, and
Memory Plunder
has a wicked high ceiling.
The Loneliest Number
What are we missing?
Reanimate
would be decent, but honestly I think is just worst than
Unearth
in this deck.
Entomb
would be great, but I don't have any extra copies, ditto
Sinkhole
.
Urborg Justice
is a cute spell that works with our combo and aristocrats plan, but sometimes will do absolutely nothing and only hits a single player when it works. Shadow of a Doubt is a terrific gotcha card at best and cycler at worst, and I don't own a copy.
Darkness
is a $6500 fog.
Blood Pet
and
Basal Thrull
could make the cut if the right cards are printed to synergize with 'em in the future.
Cuombajj Witches
is useful as a pinger, but can also be a great liability given how many X/1s we run.
Deathgrip
is a powerful, narrow meta call.
Demonic Consultation
would be a strong tutor if we had a simpler combo, while
Doomsday
would be more useful if it were better at actually winning on the spot.
Disciple of the Vault
would be an overpowered miracle if Gravecrawler were an artifact, but unfortunately
Mycosynth Lattice
doesn't fit the requirements.