Oh god a Sponge

Commander / EDH Bracket 3 GWUB

Estalup

Creature (33)

• 1x Acidic Slime
• 1x Baleful Strix
• 1x Biogenic Ooze
• 1x Bloom Tender *f-etch*
• 1x Cankerbloom
• 1x Champion of Lambholt
• 1x Coiling Oracle
• 1x Eternal Witness
• 1x Evolution Sage
• 1x Faeburrow Elder
• 1x Fleshbag Marauder
• 1x Golgari Findbroker
• 1x Gray Merchant of Asphodel
• 1x Hostage Taker
• 1x Mold Shambler
• 1x Muldrotha, the Gravetide
• 1x Mycoloth
• 1x Necrotic Ooze
• 1x Plague Spitter
• 1x Plaguecrafter
• 1x Reclamation Sage
• 1x Rot Farm Skeleton
• 1x Scavenging Ooze
• 1x Slimefoot, the Stowaway
• 1x Slogurk, the Overslime
• 1x Sludge Monster
• 1x Spore Frog
• 1x Sun Titan
• 1x Toxrill, the Corrosive
• 1x Viscera Seer
• 1x Walking Sponge
• 1x Winding Constrictor
• 1x Yavimaya Elder

Land (35)

• 1x Command Tower
• 1x Exotic Orchard
• 1x Forest
• 7x Forest
• 1x Frontier Bivouac
• 6x Island
• 1x Jungle Shrine
• 1x Mountain
• 1x Opulent Palace
• 1x Path of Ancestry
• 4x Plains
• 1x Reflecting Pool
• 1x Sandsteppe Citadel
• 1x Seaside Citadel
• 6x Swamp
• 1x Swamp

Instant (9)

• 1x Aetherize
• 1x Anguished Unmaking
• 1x Beast Within
• 1x Cyclonic RiftGC
• 1x Mortify
• 1x Polymorphist's Jest
• 1x Putrefy
• 1x Sudden Spoiling
• 1x Turn to Frog

Artifact (5)

• 1x Arcane Signet
• 1x Chromatic Lantern
• 1x Conjurer's Closet
• 1x Skullclamp
• 1x Sol Ring

Commander (1)

Sorcery (11)

• 1x Cultivate
• 1x Drown in Filth
• 1x Farewell
• 1x Farseek
• 1x Kodama's Reach
• 1x Nature's Lore
• 1x Regrowth
• 1x Slime Against Humanity
• 1x Three Visits
• 1x Victimize
• 1x Wash Out

Enchantment (6)

• 1x Animate Dead
• 1x Dress Down
• 1x Gutter Grime
• 1x HumilityGC
• 1x Kasmina's Transmutation
• 1x Phyrexian Reclamation

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This is a joke Commander deck that commits way too hard to a terrible idea: pretending “Sponge” is a real creature type.

The deck is built around Walking Sponge as the spiritual centerpiece, supported by a pile of oozes, slimes, fungi, and other vaguely damp, porous creatures that feel like they belong in the same bucket. The commander exists mostly to sell the lie.

What the deck does

Plays creatures that are gross, wet, or sponge adjacent

Removes abilities instead of just killing things (“cleaning,” not destroying)

Politicizes heavily (“I’ll sponge that if you don’t attack me”)

Accidentally wins when everyone else fights

What the deck doesn’t do

No combos

No fast kills

No consistent win plan

No pretending this is optimal

This deck is about vibes, not efficiency. It’s meant to sit at a casual table, confuse opponents, and create moments where someone has to say:

“Wait… why am I losing to a Sponge?”

Date added	3 days
Last updated	3 days
Legality	This deck is Commander / EDH legal.
Rarity (main - side)	7 - 0 Mythic Rares 29 - 0 Rares 25 - 0 Uncommons 13 - 0 Commons
Cards	100
Avg. CMC	3.17
Tokens	Beast 3/3 G, Ooze 0/0 G, Ooze 2/2 G, Ooze */* G, Saproling 1/1 G, Slug 1-1 B
Folders	Meme Decks