Sideboard


☠️ Valgavoth, Terror Eater ☠️

“If life is a resource, I’m taking a second mortgage.”

Commander Overview

Valgavoth, Terror Eater is not a leader. He is a cosmic audit.

You pay life You draw cards You drain opponents You loop inevitability until the table quietly stops making eye contact

This deck does three things extremely well:

Turns life into mana, cards, and wins Punishes opponents for existing Wins without attacking (but sometimes attacks anyway just to be rude)

You are not racing the table. You are waiting for gravity to do its job.

**Core Playstyle: ** “Smile. Nod. Ruin Them.”

Early Game (Turns 1–3):

Appear normal. Lie.

Ramp hard with Dark Ritual / Cabal Ritual / Bubbling Muck Establish engines: Necropotence Black Market Connections Skullclamp

Maybe drop a scary creature so people swing elsewhere

You want the table to think:

“Wow, mono-black, how fair.”

They are wrong.

Mid Game (Turns 4–6):

Become the problem—but subtly.

Deploy Valgavoth with protection if possible Start looping: Life → cards → mana → life → repeat

Drop “accidental” bombs: Sheoldred Archon of Cruelty Vilis

Control combat with: Sudden Spoiling Darkness Edicts

The table realizes something is wrong when they’re all at 18 and you’re at 54.

Late Game:

End the game in a single sentence.

You win via:

Massive life drain Combo inevitability Or “Oh… that triggers again?”

You do not apologize.

Ideal Opening Hands:

God Hand (Keep Without Thinking)

Swamp Sol Ring Dark Ritual Necropotence Skullclamp Any payoff creature

This hand commits war crimes by turn 3.

Strong Keep

2–3 lands One ritual or mana rock One engine (Connections / Necro / Citadel) One piece of interaction

You’ll be scary by turn 5 and lethal by 7.

Mulligan If:

No acceleration All top-end bombs Lands but nothing to do with them

This deck does not durdle. It consumes.

Combo & Win Packages

Combo #1: The Classic Blood Tax

Exquisite Blood + Sanguine Bond / Vito

Opponent loses 1 life You gain 1 life Loop until the table is quiet

Bonus:

Gray Merchant, Twilight Prophet, or Valgavoth sneezing starts it.

Combo #2: Brain Melt Special

Bloodchief Ascension + Mindcrank

Opponent loses life → mills Milling causes more life loss Loop until libraries cease to exist

No combat. No mercy. Just paperwork.

Combo #3: “Oops All Mana”

Cabal Coffers + Deserted Temple / Thespian’s Stage Nirkana Revenant / Crypt Ghast Exsanguinate / Torment of Hailfire

This is where you announce:

“I’ll float… 38 black mana.”

Everyone nods because resistance is futile.

Combo #4: Reanimation Abuse

Reanimate / Necromancy / Saw in Half Target: Archon of Cruelty Gray Merchant Vilis

If Saw in Half resolves on Archon, someone usually scoops out of respect.

Defense & Political Warfare

You are harder to kill than you look.

Darkness: Fog, but for sociopaths Imp’s Mischief: “Actually, no.” Sudden Spoiling: Deletes combat steps Edicts & Deluge: Reset buttons

Let them overextend. Then pull the rug. Then charge rent.

Valgavoth Synergies (Why He’s Disgusting)

Necropotence / Citadel / K’rrik: Life becomes everything Vilis: Pay life → draw cards → lose friends Whip of Erebos: Your life total becomes unkillable Meathook Massacre II: Casual table genocide

Valgavoth doesn’t win quickly. He wins inevitably.

How This Deck Actually Ends Games

Table underestimates you You “just draw some cards” You suddenly gain 40 life You announce a spell Everyone checks the board Silence Shuffle up

Final Thoughts

This deck is:

High-power Bracket 3 → Low Bracket 4 Resilient Ruthless Extremely funny if you’re the pilot

If your pod hates this deck, you built it correctly.

Suggestions

Updates Add

Final upgrades! The deck is polished and ready to play in b4 games :)

Comments

96% Casual

Competitive