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Affinity for Rubber Chickens (Chiss-Goria EDH)

Commander / EDH Affinity Artifact Battlecruiser Mono-Red

seshiro_of_the_orochi

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Ramp (19)

Lands (35)

Value (16)

Rubber Chickens (13)

Commander (1)

Commander: Chiss-Goria, Forge Tyrant

Interaction (15)

The Sqeak (1)

Maybeboard

Other (3)

Ladies and Gentledudes,

The Forge presents* to you...

Drum Roll

enter image description here

...Chiss-Goria, Forge Tyrant, the big scary dragon that likes anything artificial, e.g. squeaky pet toys.

Ok, maybe those are pretty massive pet toys. Ever been hit to death by a rubber chicken? Well, now you will be!

Once again, a straight-forward deck with some twist. Chiss-Goria comes down rather early for a 5/4 hasty flyer due to cheap artifacts. As soon as Chiss enters the board, he'll attack to drop something massive. Besides the ramp that our commander will hit from time to time, the big artifacts can be divided in some sub-categories:

Ancient Stone Idol, Bosh, Iron Golem Combustible Gearhulk, Darksteel Colossus, Furnace Hellkite, Hexplate Wallbreaker, Maelstrom Colossus, Metalwork Colossus, Myr Battlesphere, Phyrexian Triniform, Threefold Thunderhulk, Triplicate Titan, Wurmcoil Engine,

These enter the battlefield accompanied with a loud wooooow from around the table. They are big, they are scary. They deal damage, and they definitely have an impact on the boardstate in some way.

Steel Hellkite, Duplicant, Meteor Golem, Spine of Ish Sah

These will come down and kill something, and thanks to our reanimation effects, they'll often do it more than once.

No deck is complete without the pieces that make it hum...well, rather squeak:

Besides the usual mana rocks, basically every artifact in the deck can be counted as ramp. Foundry Inspector helps us with permanent ramp. The more mana we have in general, and the more stuff we want to cast, the better it becomes.

Frogmite,Sojourner's Companion and Frogmyr Enforcer are basically free most of the time. The Mightstone and Weakstone   and Unstable Obelisk are ramp with extras. They either give us a lot of mana, or they represent removal and/or card draw, either of which makes them totally worth dropping with Chiss-Goria.

Loyal Apprentice is a cheap way to get more artifacts. The same is true for The Reaver Cleaver. Getting the axe on Chiss will propably catapult me into turbo mode.

Thanks to being incredibly lucky sometimes, I lately pulled Karn, Legacy Reforgedfoil from a pack. He's a powerhouse in here, being usually large while giving me a huge mana burst every turn.

With all these more less expensive artifacts, Slobad, Iron Goblin is anything but slow and bad ;)

Faithless Looting, Sazacap's Brew and Thrill of Possibility are great ways to draw cards in general. Imposing Grandeur was already powerful in my Moraug, Fury of Akoum list, but here, with a commander with an MV of 9, it's simply ridiculous. No matter how many cards our opponents will draw, it propably won't be nine.

Sandstone Oracle is a way to draw cards that synergyzes with big parts of the deck. Chiss-Goria can cast it. Goblin Welderfoil, Feldon of the Third Path and Scarecrone can reanimate it for additional value.

Reckless Handling is a cheap tutor that could hypothetically help me close out very close games. As my hand will be empty pretty often, it can sometimes even be an Entomb.

I already mentioned some of these cards in the rubber chicken category, so I won't repeat their use here.

Chaos Warp is an all-star, dealing with everything that could annoy me.

Unstable Obelisk, Urn of Godfire, Bumbleflower's Sharepot and Universal Solvent are cheap artifacts with removal attached.

Shiny Impetus is creature removal that gives me treasures.

Blasphemous Act and Reckless Endeavor are my boardwipes. Vandal blast can also be one against similarly artifact-centric decks.

Feldon of the Third Path and Goblin Welderfoil are pretty efficient ways to reanimate a rubber chicken or two. Those combine neatly with Slobad, Iron Goblin, which will usually give us quite a lot of mana. Churning through cards while chaining Sandstone Oracle and Spine of Ish Sah turn after turn can be very impressive.

Passionate Archaeologistfoil is one hell of a card in the deck. Dealing 10+ damage in addition to getting a big artifact creature out is pretty strong. I actively decided against more similar-ish effects as these don't really exist on artifacts and thus will increase the amount of whiffs Chiss-Goria can have.

Deck and description are finally both at a good point. I could add expensive artifacts if I wanted, and there are obvious possible upgrades. But for now, I really like where this is at. It's really aggressive and fast, dropping battlecruiser cards at an insane rate. I wouldn't have guessed I'll like it that much, but my inner Timmy just feeds on stuff like this. I appreciate each and every feedback, thanks for your time, and may the forge be with you.

Planned changes:

In:

Out:

*The Forge only presents described enormous flying death lizard. We take no responsibilities for any chewed-off body parts or other lethal or non-lethal injuries resulting from watching it. Interfering with the dragon's sqeakies can't be advised. Oh god, PLEASE stay away from its sqeakies.

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Updates Add

The hills feat. Depthshaking and Battleship — Nov. 19, 2025
Edit

I decided to change the mana base a bit. What the deck needs most is reliably hitting three red sources asap, so I replaced eight somewhat useless colourless lands with Mountains. I also got Depthshaker Titan and Extinguisher Battleship. For the new wipe and the finisher, I removed Jeska's Will and Vandalblast because both of them are whiffs off of Chiss-Goria.

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98% Casual

Competitive

Revision 87 See all

(1 month ago)

-1 Depthshaker Titan main
-1 Dragon's Hoard main
-1 Dragonstorm Globe main
-1 Embermouth Sentinel main
+1 Lotus Petal main
+1 Mishra's Bauble main
+1 Traveler's Amulet main
+1 Wanderer's Twig main