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Zo-Zu The Punisher

Commander / EDH Mono-Red

GundamGuy195

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Artifact (31)

Land (36)

Creature (8)

Instant (4)

Commander (1)

Commander: foil Zo-Zu the Punisher

Enchantment (13)

Sorcery (7)

Maybeboard

Artifact (3)

Sorcery (1)

"Maximum Salt, Minimum Mercy" This deck isn’t just a pile of cards—it’s a carefully engineered experience designed to make your opponents question why they showed up to play. The goal? To make every decision your opponents make hurt, drag the game into chaos, and ensure that no matter what happens, nobody is having a good time… except for you.

How the Deck Works (AKA How I Ruin the Fun Fairly) Land Destruction & Painful Choices Strip Mine, Dust Bowl, Ghost Quarter, Wasteland, Tectonic Edge – You like having lands? Not anymore. Targeted land destruction makes sure that opponents can’t build any meaningful mana base.

Ruination – Oh, you’re running non-basics? Cool. Blow them all up.

Ankh of Mishra, Zo-Zu the Punisher, Citadel of Pain – Every land drop is a punishment. Even if they can keep lands on the board, they’re getting taxed for it.

Lockdown and Resource Denial Trinisphere, Sphere of Resistance, Thorn of Amethyst, Lodestone Golem – Want to play spells? Pay more. These cards make sure that spells are delayed or unplayable by taxing everything.

Crawlspace, Smoke, War's Toll – Swinging creatures? Good luck. You either get limited attacks or tapped-out mana for your troubles.

Static Orb, Winter Orb, Imi Statue, Orb of Dreams – Untap steps become a distant memory, creating a slow grind where everyone is stuck in purgatory.

Chaos and Misery Possibility Storm, Knowledge Pool, Grip of Chaos, Planar Chaos – Think you’re casting a spell? Nah, let’s shuffle the deck of reality. Everything becomes random, unpredictable, and frustrating.

Warp World, Thieves' Auction – Reset the game in a way that doesn’t actually help anyone. These cards turn everything upside down, creating a painful, time-consuming mess.

Anti-Strategy and Hate Pieces Grafdigger's Cage, Silent Gravestone, Pithing Needle, Phyrexian Revoker, Cursed Totem, Torpor Orb – Got a cute combo? Too bad. Graveyards, activated abilities, and enter-the-battlefield effects are all locked down.

Damping Sphere, Mana Web, Defense Grid – Whether they’re trying to combo off or cast multiple spells, they’re gonna have a bad time.

Stranglehold – Extra turns? Tutors? Nope. Sit down.

Board Wipes and Armageddon-Like Effects Boom/Bust, Obliterate, Decree of Annihilation – When things get out of hand, reset everything. Fair is fair, right?

Smokestack – A slow, painful grind where everyone sacrifices their board until nothing remains.

Kill Switch – Oh, you thought you could use your artifacts? Nah, I’ll tap them down forever.

Punishment Through Damage and Suffering Burning Earth, Manabarbs, Price of Glory, Psychogenic Probe – Everything your opponents do deals damage. Tap mana, crack fetches, or try to play around your nonsense? Pain.

Dingus Egg, Dingus Staff – Sacrificing or losing lands and creatures? Take some extra damage for the trouble.

How It's "Fair" Symmetry in Suffering – Most of these effects hurt everyone, including me. But the deck is built to break that symmetry so that I’m less affected while everyone else spirals into despair.

Everyone Has a Chance – Technically, nobody is locked out forever… unless they give up first. If you’re persistent enough, you can play through the chaos. But by the time they do, they’re already far behind.

The Win Conditions (If Anyone’s Still Alive) Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle – After enough Mountains hit the board, opponents just start dying.

Urabrask the Hidden and Tyrant of Discord – If anyone somehow stabilizes, these creatures close the game with relentless aggression.

Sulfuric Vortex and Burn Effects – Even if no creatures survive, incremental damage grinds down life totals.

Why This Deck is the Ultimate Salt Mine You don’t win by comboing off or beating down—you win by grinding your opponents into submission through frustration, confusion, and constant roadblocks.

The deck is a masterclass in “fair but oppressive.” There’s no infinite combo or unfair nonsense—just a steady, unrelenting march toward the inevitable collapse of fun.

If you didn’t come here to make friends, you built the right deck.

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Casual

91% Competitive