Grandma gives the bestest hugs!
1x Ambition's Cost - Grandma doesn’t know what streamers do. What she does know is that real jobs are in an office, 9 to 5...
1x Armillary Sphere - Your dad’s model of the solar system from 5th grade. Still on the shelf.
1x Audacious Thief - The one cousin brazen enough to try and take money from Grandma’s purse
1x Bane of the Living - Grandma keeps Tequila in her liquor cabinet. The worm in that bottle has been in there for 15 years. It’s now turpentine flavored.
1x Barren Moor - Grandma’s flower bed.
1x Blighted Fen - Grandma’s backyard. Weeds to your waist.
1x Cellar Door - Grandma keeps the soda pop in the fridge in the basement so it stays cold. Caffeine withdrawal is the safer option.
1x Witch’s Cottage - Grandma’s house.
1x Dark Ritual - Putting her “face” on before she goes out.
1x Defile - The guest bathroom after Thanksgiving.
1x Desert of the Glorified - Grandma’s front yard. Mowed to a half inch high and brown.
1x Diabolic Tutor - Ask Grandma for a favor...
1x Drana, Kalastria Bloodchief - The aunt you only see at holidays who somehow has been a widow no less than three times.
1x Duress - Grandma guilting you into coming up to see her “before she dies”...the same line she’s been using for 15 years.
1x Eternal Taskmaster - Grandma’s shift boss at the mill because pensions ain’t what they used to be and band saws are fun.
1x Fate Unraveler - Emmie, Grandma’s casino buddy and bail bondsman.
1x Liliana’s Triumph - When Grandma literally buries the opposing Bridge players.
1x Glint-Sleeve Siphoner - The broker Grandma thinks is stealing her money. She’s right. She’s also giving him arsenic laced cookies so it’ll work itself out.
1x Golden Demise - What Grandma wants her funeral to be like. Your inheritance will likely be a couch.
1x Gonti, Lord of Luxury - Grandma’s investment broker.
1x Gray Merchant of Asphodel - one of Grandma’s inner circle of other grandmas.
1x Greel, Mind Raker - Grandma’s lawyer.
1x Hedron Archive - The bowl of fossilized candy in the decorative dish by the door. Guaranteed teeth breaker.
1x Hour of Glory - You win an argument with Grandma and then realize no one will talk to you.
1x Icy Manipulator - Grandma knows everyone’s buttons and how to press them.
1x Fountain of Ichor - Grandma’s parties are always memorable.
1x Josu Vess, Lich Knight - The uncle who people keep thinking was dead and surprisingly shows up on random holidays.
1x Killing Wave - Grandma loves pickles. Pickles do not like Grandma.
1x Languish - Grandma doesn’t know where her cat ran off to. Hint: Kitty found the heating vent 2 years ago...
1x Liliana's Specter - Grandma’s friend who won’t stop talking about who died recently.
1x Mausoleum Secrets - You never speak ill of the dead...except at their funeral.
1x Memorial to Folly - Remember when you had that horrible haircut for school picture day. Yeah, that’s the picture of you she keeps on her mantle.
1x Metalspinner's Puzzleknot - Grandma bought it at the White Elephant. No, she doesn’t know what it does, but it looks pretty.
1x Midnight Charm - Grandma’s Broach. Roughly the size of an enameled pie plate.
1x Moonlight Bargain - Grandma loves a White Elephant sale.
1x Murder - She Wrote.
1x Mycosynth Wellspring - When you go to make a sandwich and you check the date on the bread. It expired a week ago...last year.
1x Necroplasm - It’s in the back of her fridge in a butter tub. It’s not butter.
1x Nighthowler - When her three pound dog decides he’s White Fang at 2 am.
1x Oblivion Strike - The open-handed slap delivered to a 40-year old, 250 pound, man from an 85 year old 90 pound woman delivered with such force as to rattle the brains in your head for accidentally cursing in front of her.
1x Plaguecrafter - Grandma’s doctor. Goes in well, comes out sick.
1x Profane Command - Grandma can say “Shoot! Get your backside over here.” like a sailor.
1x Ransack the Lab - Where are my coupons?
1x Ravenous Chupacabra - Her shifty little dog that is half chihuahua half monkey that will probably start eating you 5 minutes after you die.
1x Read the Bones - Grandma’s hot wings are always tasty...if a bit undercooked. Portents are for a long night ahead...
1x Sanguimancy - The art of finding a vein in Grandma’s arm for her monthly drug test.
1x Scarab Feast - Her kitchen floor around midnight.
1x Scrabbling Claws - What you swore you heard in the wall while sleeping in her spare room that one night.
1x Sign in Blood - How you get in Grandma’s Will.
1x Silence the Believers - The look they give you when they catch you talking in church.
1x Skittering Surveyor - Grandma still uses rabbit ears on her tv.
1x Skullsnatcher - Grandma’s old dog...or what passed for one.
1x Skysovereign, Consul Flagship - Grandma’s Cadillac. Menace to bumpers, squirrels, and pedestrians everywhere.
1x Smallpox - When Grandma says she caught a cold.
30x Swamp - The landscape outside of every five hour car ride to Grandma’s house. Are we there yet?
1x Syphon Mind - When Grandma starts a conversation with “when I was a girl” and your brain clicks off.
1x Temple of the False God - Where Edith goes on Sunday. The “other” church we don’t talk about in this house.
1x The Eldest Reborn - What Grandma is hoping for after death.
1x Thought Distortion - After you stop paying attention to what Grandma is saying in a conversation and you suddenly realize that she slipped in a sentence about drugs/death/prostitution and you frantically try and rewind the last three minutes.
1x Tragic Slip - When Grandma fell in the mall and broke her hip. This is how she got the Cadillac.
1x Traveler's Amulet - Grandma’s car pine tree air freshener.
1x Ulamog's Crusher - When you were 5...this is what was in the guest room closet...
1x Underworld Connections - How Grandma gets her blood pressure meds from Canada.
1x Virtus's Maneuver - the gymnastics required to navigate a home covered in figurines, decorative plates, and enough old furniture to embarrass an average hoarder.
1x Visions of Brutality - Discussing politics at Thanksgiving dinner.
1x Cabal Patriarch- Grampa...bless his heart...wherever he keeps it...
1x Vona's Hunger - When you aren’t really hungry, but end up eating five pounds of food at Grandma’s anyway. Basically a food coma.
1x Wave of Terror - When Grandma got upset because she thought NCIS was cancelled.
1x Wight of Precinct Six - Grandma’s bingo buddy...the one with too many facelifts.
1x Forever Young - The motto airbrushed on Grandma’s Harley.
