Recently within my playgroup a little birdie told me that one of the wanna-be competitive players was talking about how he thought the only reason I played with them was to play the game on essentially easy difficulty. Nevermind for a moment that this was a player who tried to actually compete for Modern for a moment, and I was pretty peeved. You see, this player will try to coax younger players at the table to make every game hilariously one-sided or outright tell them that the blue player with seven cards in hand and 5 untapped mana is bluffing about having either an Aetherize or some other cheeky answer. A couple shots of Jack Daniels later, and I came to a very hateful idea: if I could score a win against my playgroup with Princess Fucking Lucrezia, then maybe that would be enough of a wakeup call for them to actually shut up and get good at the game.
Riven Turnbull acts as the deck's unofficial Lieutenant, but blue Mana combos a lot better than black, you feckin' scrub. I could just swap him out for a Myr, but where's the fun in that? A Myr doesn't have 7 toughness either, and lord knows I want the table shaking in their boots whenever the diabolical duo is on the table together. Am I holding out mana to cast a Telling Time? Am I keeping blockers open for the chance to swing back 10 damage? Am I secretly enjoying the self-fulfilling sadism of playing bad cards? I'll let the fact that I tried to fit in Sivitri Scarzam in the deck answer that question.
Norritt's a pretty cool guy. Honestly the only reason I put him in the deck in the first place was because I thought that ihe was wearing little sunglasses in the art. Fortunately, he's just as cool even without them, for he comes with a special hidden synergistic power. You see, by casting Cerulean Wisps (which also combos well with Princess Lucrezia), he can turn himself blue, and then start using his power to breakdance on the table for as long as I wish. 13/8 Double Strike Unblockable Zurgo Helmsmasher coming to try to claim the win? Sorry, buddy, the show doesn't end until the imp stops busting a move, and we got aaaaaaaall night to party.
The Isochron + Dramatic Reversal combo doesn't seem like a big deal, until you realize that Princess Lucrezia taps for mana and isn't, in fact, a land! It's secret strategies like this that win both wars and games of Commander.
Intruder Alarm is a weird one. It combos with Phyrexian Walker and Retraction Helix, but beyond that it's mostly to ensure that I can tap the things without having to worry about being poked up my poophole by someone with a slightly bigger thing.
Havengul Lich is actually a great card, and in this deck it combos out with Ashnod's Altar and either Phyrexian Walker or Sparring Construct for infinite colorless or +1/+1 counters Boy do I wish that I could make it combo with the Master Breeder.
Archaeomancer is the deck's (moral) win con. You see, by casting it, in addition to doing actually smart plays like re-using Memory Plunder on Dark Petition for cheap, reusable tutors, you can also use it on Whelming Wave and Evacuation if your opponents are stupid enough to let you get to 8 mana. Bounce. Repeat. Lose friends.
Mastermind's Acquisition is the deck's actual win con if you don't get Jace/Sparring Construct off since it doesn't actually exile itself, therefore it can be re-casted after an engine has been set up. Want to win an EDH game through Battle of Wits with a Princess Lucrezia deck? Not out of the realm of possibility. Want to exile everything you control and practically swap decks entirely with a pre-built field? Also possible. Want to summon Sivitri Scarzam and maker her a 99/97, then Fling her? Want to clutter literally every square inch of the table with pennies to represent a Wurm token army? Want to use a Dragon Dildo as a Wurm token? Want to show off your collection of Kaja Foglio artwork Basal Thrull's and smother the table in your thralls's buttcheeks? Want to donate some Snow-Covered Swamps to everyone then send Legions of Lim-Dul after them? Want to divorce your wife? Want to actually play good cards!? Do whatever! All you need is a mana engine and some creativity.
For real though this deck is pretty crap.
