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Dwight Schrute, Athletic and Special Skills resumé

Commander / EDH Bracket 1 Exile Scarecrow

FrostBytes

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Creature (29)

Enchantment (5)

Land (38)

Sorcery (9)

Commander (1)

Commander: Reaper King

Artifact (12)

Instant (6)

Here is a Dwight Schrute–style, resumé-themed, fully in-character deck description you can paste straight onto your TappedOut page:

DWIGHT SCHRUTE — ATHLETIC AND SPECIAL SKILLS RESUMÉ

A Comprehensive Record of Combat Ability, Scarecrow Expertise, and Superior Battlefield Efficiency

(As prepared by Dwight K. Schrute, Assistant to the Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, Scranton Branch)

Objective

To dominate the Commander format using my unparalleled mastery of scarecrows, agricultural security measures, and battlefield preparedness. My commander, Reaper King, is the perfect reflection of my leadership style: terrifying, efficient, and not afraid to destroy anything that doesn’t belong in the field.

Professional Skills

** Scarecrow Command & Agriculture Security**

I have been installing, maintaining, and commanding scarecrows since the age of five. This deck reflects that expertise through a diverse and highly trained army of Scarecrows, Constructs, and miscellaneous “things that probably shouldn’t be alive but are.”

Reaper King rewards discipline and proper work ethic by obliterating permanents whenever new recruits join the ranks. Some people call that “removal.” I call it leadership.

** Tactical Repositioning (a.k.a. Blinking & Flickering)**

When faced with danger, the weak hide. The strong phase out of existence and return stronger than ever.

Cards like Ghostly Flicker, Eerie Interlude, and other evasive maneuvers reflect my extensive training in stealth, invisibility attempts, and advanced parkour.

** Productivity Maximization (a.k.a. ETB Value & Token Duplication)**

I manage resources with the precision of a beet farmer and the aggression of a volunteer sheriff. Tools such as Panharmonicon, Blade of Selves, and various token-making machinery ensure maximum efficiency per creature—something my coworkers at Dunder Mifflin rarely achieve.

These effects allow me to double, triple, or quadruple the number of hard-working scarecrows on the field. If a scarecrow is good, several scarecrows are better.

** Multicolor Resource Management**

Farming requires the ability to adapt—weather, soil, pest invasions, werewolf sightings. Similarly, this deck runs an efficient, diverse land-base and mana-fixing package to support all five colors, ensuring smooth deployment of my forces regardless of environmental conditions.

This is known as good resource planning. Michael calls it “too many colors.” Michael is wrong.

Work Experience

  • Battlefield Coordination: Organized and motivated a cross-creature-type workforce to achieve maximum destructive potential.

  • Defensive Protocols: Implemented blink-based hazard avoidance, token reinforcements, and various back-up scarecrow measures.

  • Offensive Operations: Launched synchronized scarecrow assaults resulting in decisive board states and total victory. Note: Casualties exclusively among opponents.

Strengths

  • High loyalty to commander (Reaper King > Regional Manager).
  • Consistent production of wide, weird, and terrifying board states.
  • Ability to survive board wipes with sheer stubbornness, magic tricks, and emergency beets.
  • Plays extremely well in pods where unpredictability and chaos are encouraged.
  • 0% nonsense. 100% efficiency. (Except for the nonsense parts. Those are intentional.)

Weaknesses

  • None.
  • But if I did have one, it would be caring too much about winning stylishly with scarecrows.

References

Available upon request from Mose Schrute (not recommended).

Suggestions

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99% Casual

Competitive