What cards made you go "why the flying fuck was this printed?"
General forum
Posted on Oct. 16, 2014, 4:44 a.m. by Joking101
Let me give some more information. I do not care if there is a real purpose for the card. One with Nothing can be used for something, somewhere, somehow, but that's not the point. The point is what cards made you burst out laughing when you first read them? (Excluding the "un" sets).
Other cards that fit this criteria are ones with comedic rules. Raging River and Chains of Mephistopheles come to mind. They have hilarious and confusing rules.
Other favorites may be cards that just suck. Or ones that are really good, but confuse you. It doesn't really matter,
As long as you laughed at the card, that's what matters,
My favorites of "WTFFWTP" are:
3: Scornful Egotist .
Now tell me, what cards made you die from laughter when you first saw them?
Some other cards are worst, but I have to say Scavenging Scarab
October 16, 2014 7:08 a.m.
most recently, Treasure Cruise - how many times will they try to fix Ancestral Recall until they realize it won't work?
others include: Fasting , Aven Trooper (that art though), Razor Boomerang
October 16, 2014 7:14 a.m.
Force of Savagery isn't bad with Varolz, the Scar-Striped , but I doubt they had varolz in mind when they printed it
90% of cards don't get used outside of drafts. Just think of how many millions of commons/uncommons/bulk rares are sitting in boxes around the world with no chance of seeing play. As an eco conscious person I'm sort of embarrassed to say I play mtg, since WotC is definitely contributing to the destruction of the planet :P
October 16, 2014 7:31 a.m.
Rhadamanthus says... #9
Most recently, Flamecast Wheel . It's on the Razor Boomerang level of awful, and like the Boomerang I couldn't stop opening it in boosters. >:(
October 16, 2014 9:26 a.m.
Come on guys, it's gotta be Rock Lobster , Paper Tiger , and Scissors Lizard !
For serious, the Artifact lands, as cool as they were, are SERIOUSLY BUSTED.
October 16, 2014 9:38 a.m.
LittleBlueHero says... #11
I have to defend my bro Scornful Egotist . During his time he served a purpose in fun kitchen table decks that made use of cards like Torrent of Fire and Rush of Knowledge . At least thats what he did for me. He was a great enabler for those cards because his casting cost said 8 but he never cost more than 4.
The card I wonder about has always been Great Wall . There are not enough creatures with Plainswalk to ever justify this cards existence.
October 16, 2014 9:58 a.m.
LittleBlueHero to be exact there are four creatures with plainswalk so I second Great Wall .
October 16, 2014 10:07 a.m.
Sparda1127 says... #13
It's a shock, 3/1, or it makes your Madcapped Spike Jester a 4/2 that shocks every attack step.
Ran it at an FNM one night, laughed every time someone had to read the card several times, and then weeped when everyone started sideboarding them in their decks.
October 16, 2014 10:38 a.m.
Sparda1127 says... #14
Makes that Spike Jester a 7/2. Curse my exhausted mind.
October 16, 2014 10:39 a.m.
Rhadamanthus says... #15
You know what's even worse? At the time Great Wall was printed, there was only ONE creature with plainswalk (Righteous Avengers ), only ONE card that could gain the ability on its own (Giant Slug ), and only ONE card that could grant the ability in a very roundabout way (Magical Hack ). For some reason Legends had a bunch of cards made to hate on landwalk abilities even though they've only ever been a minor part of the game.
October 16, 2014 10:41 a.m.
JonathanSamurai says... #16
Takeno's Cavalry - An archer without reach? A 4 drop 1/1 (2/2)? Tap to deal 1 damage to target ATTACKING/BLOCKING spirit? The card does not live up to the artwork or flavor text.
October 16, 2014 11:07 a.m.
CrazyLittleGuy says... #21
@emerauld23 Fleshmad Steed is a solid limited card. I can see why it was printed; Grizzly Bears can define a draft format.
@Putrefy Pfft, /threading your own post. What is this, amateur hour?
October 16, 2014 1:01 p.m.
ThisIsBullshit says... #22
Trait Doctoring , like what?
Tibalt, the Fiend-Blooded was pretty hilarious too.
Also Swamp . That shizz was pretty broken, can't understand why they keep reprinting it.
October 16, 2014 1:06 p.m.
Just to clarify, this isn't about whether or not a card is good. Most cards are good in the right scenario. This is about which cards made you laugh when you first saw them.
October 16, 2014 1:12 p.m.
TelleoStar says... #24
ThisIsBullshit I know, right? Swamp is such a stupidly designed card. It's all like, "Oh, I'm gonna waste my land drop on something that makes BLACK mana, like that's ever even useful." Dunno what they were thinking. ;)
October 16, 2014 1:23 p.m.
ThisIsBullshit says... #25
In all seriousness I don't know if there are any that have made me laugh outside of the un sets (Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug , anyone).
Actually I lied, when my friend showed me Scornful Egotist I just stared at it for a minute, and then just busted up laughing. I still can't believe that's an actual card. It's like there's bad, awful, unplayable, and then there's this stupid piece of crap lol
October 16, 2014 1:33 p.m.
aeonstoremyliver says... #26
The flavor text for Ichor Explosion has always been a favorite of mine. I laughed out loud when I first saw it.
October 16, 2014 1:36 p.m.
vampirelazarus says... #27
Scornful Egotist was actually useful guys.
Rush of Knowledge , Ancient Ooze , Torrent of Fire ... not to mention the other twelve cards in that set that cared about high CMC.
October 16, 2014 1:38 p.m.
Sparda1127 says... #28
Also, most recently could be something along the lines of Deflecting Palm .
Why, WotC? WHY? You could stop literally anything unless it's countered and send it right back to them. That huge 13/13 hydra you're wanting to swing with? I'm just going to prevent it and make you take it instead, and why is it a 2-drop?!
It's insane.
October 16, 2014 1:43 p.m.
CrazyLittleGuy says... #29
I don't know what you're talking about guys, Scornful Egotist with Voidmage Prodigy is a wombo combo. I play it in my Azami, Lady of Scrolls EDH. Cough.
It doesn't work so great with Riptide Laboratory though.
October 16, 2014 1:48 p.m.
I'm a Johnny / Spike, so a lot of the obscure cards, like Scornful Egotist , peak my interest. I also draft a lot, so I get that certain cards are designed more for Limited than Constructed.
What really made me go "What the fruit, Watsee?" are things like:
...basically cards that function as both stabilizers and win conditions.
These are "Does this resolve? Okay I win the game," cards. R&D started putting stuff like this out around Mirrodin with Darksteel Colossus and Platinum Angel . Since then, we've seen serious levels of power creep.
Then there's the ridiculous cards like Deathrite Shaman , Delver of Secrets Flip , Snapcaster Mage , and Stoneforge Mystic . Cards that give way too much value it makes me wonder if anyone in Development (whose job it is to make sure Design doesn't make overpowered cards) was paying attention. Making Birds of Paradise , Scavenging Ooze , Grim Lavamancer , and Relic of Progenitus into one card that costs one mana should have never been printed. Likewise, Regrowth at instant speed on a 2/1 BLUE creature should also raise red flags.
Anywho, it's not the underpowered cards that bother me. It's the format-warping nonsense that somehow slips past Development.
October 16, 2014 10 p.m.
Steamflogger Boss I mean, what? Also Deep Analysis flavor text and Elephant Ambush. Oh man.
November 15, 2014 10:25 a.m.
GlistenerAgent says... #35
Firstly, vampirelazarus.
Secondly, Treasure Cruise.
November 15, 2014 5:42 p.m.
SimicPower says... #36
I laughed so much when Misthollow Griffin was spoiled. Also, Goblin Game?
quesobueno123 says... #2
Rock Hydra
October 16, 2014 7:02 a.m.