The Finest Flavor Text Comedy (Top 60 of MTG)

Modern* Budget Casual Competitive Five Color Goblins Theme/Gimmick

Bovine073

Best (15)

• 1x Canyon Minotaur
• 1x Enormous Baloth
• 1x Goblin Gardener
• 1x Goblin Razerunners
• 1x Gorgon's Head
• 1x Jackalope Herd
• 1x Lightmine Field
• 1x Meteorite
• 1x Mortify
• 1x Obliterate
• 1x Pacifism
• 1x Searing Spear
• 1x Sizzle
• 1x Spire Barrage
• 1x Vizzerdrix

Meta Irony (12)

• 1x Common Cause
• 1x Dark Confidant
• 1x Deep Analysis
• 1x Fact or Fiction
• 1x Last Word
• 1x Lightning Bolt
• 1x Mana Leak
• 1x Null Rod
• 1x Rancor
• 1x Rishadan Cutpurse
• 1x Steamflogger Boss
• 1x Viscid Lemures

Better (15)

• 1x Aggravate
• 1x Barrage of Expendables
• 1x Bottle Gnomes
• 1x Brightstone Ritual
• 1x Counterspell
• 1x Distress
• 1x Foundry Street Denizen
• 1x Goblin Balloon Brigade
• 1x Goblin Grenade
• 1x Razorfield Thresher
• 1x Remand
• 1x Root Greevil
• 1x Sidisi's Faithful
• 1x Synapse Sliver
• 1x Telepathy

Bottom Ten (10)

• 1x Carrion Ants
• 1x Goblin Offensive
• 1x Hermit of the Natterknolls  ^Flip
• 1x Inspiration
• 1x Knight Watch
• 1x Primeval Titan
• 1x Sedge Scorpion
• 1x Show and Tell
• 1x Skullcrack
• 1x Wave of Indifference

Good (15)

• 1x Coat of Arms
• 1x Cranial Archive
• 1x Dead Drop
• 1x Domesticated Hydra
• 1x Goblin Arsonist
• 1x Goblin Pyromancer
• 1x Ib Halfheart, Goblin Tactician
• 1x Manabarbs
• 1x Mugging
• 1x Overwhelming Intellect
• 1x Rabid Bite
• 1x Raging Goblin
• 1x Research Assistant
• 1x Wheel of Torture
• 1x Zulaport Cutthroat

Top Five (5)

• 1x Fodder Cannon
• 1x Gorilla Titan
• 1x Reparations
• 1x Werebear
• 1x Xanthic Statue

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This deck (as the name implies) is the funniest and wittiest collection of well flavor-texted cards I could find.

Since there can only be 60 best cards, this deck has a format of: Bottom 10 - Good - Better - Best - Top 5, out of the 60 card slots allocated.

(10 cards-15 cards-15 cards-15 cards-5 cards)

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What Cards Should I Suggest? Show

Cards to suggest would likely replace 'Bottom 10' category cards.

Comedy is valued the most, but some cards such as Mana Leak have good situational irony. Other great cards such as Barrage of Expendables , or Synapse Sliver continue the (clearly) long-lasting vendetta between the card writers and goblins.

Some of the dark(er) cards of MTG such as Drainpipe Vermin make the list, but they aren't necessarily comical, and thus may not make the list.

Other cards may seem out of place such as Lightning Bolt or Goblin Arsonist , but these cards have slightly obscure refrences, Lightning Bolt due to the fact that no one ever expected to see a Modern-Legal reprint of it, but they were surprised when wizards reprinted it and Goblin Arsonist , well, Spiderman (or Voltaire, if you are one of them philosophical or history folks).

Gorgon's Head also has a little bit of a refrence to Medusa, who when you see her face you turn to stone (thus why they were King Igalus's last words).

Unhinged set cards will not be accepted, as they were literally made to be funny and have funny flavor texts, so I personally think they have an unfair advantage (of sorts).

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How The Cycling Process Works Show

When a card is suggested, I will take one of the 'Bottom 10' cards off the list, and put the card into its category that is best fit for it at the time of its placement.

Edits are made with time, of course, and some cards will move up/down, and some are eliminated from the list.

I try to be unbiased as possible and follow the law of Comedy is King, as to stay true to the title of this deck.

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Bonus Spoiler- Goblins! Show

Because of the great hate against goblins that we have witnessed, I only thought it appropiate that a few paragraphs shall be written about them.

Here is what we know about their:

-Intellegence:

Well, Coat of Arms tells us a little bit about their basic arithmetic abilities, and Goblin Piker also shows us they aren't as sharp as the weapon they are holding. Synapse Sliver and Lightmine Field confirm these hypotheses. I'm just saying, but these little red guys seem like they would be the most likely of creatures to climb on top of a Razorfield Thresher while it is running. (Just sayin').

-Battle Tactics:

I think Barrage of Expendables , and Goblin Piledriver about sum up the tactics used by the great goblin generals of this age, such as Ib Halfheart, Goblin Tactician . This general has some terrifically amazing ideas, as seen in Panglacial Wurm's flavor text, and also in his own. The goblins also have superior transportation in the form of Goblin Balloon Brigade , and (somehow) even managed to find a tactical advantage by sending a clown to war ( Goblin Battle Jester ). Goblin military training includes the 2,071 (goblin) lessons for survival, which includes weilding Fodder Cannon s to fire all sorts of Goblin Grenades upon the unsuspecting enemy. When you are a goblin general, however, just remember to NEVER, EVER tell goblins to "fire at will" ( Friendly Fire ). Also, watch out for Lightmine Fields.

-Attitude:

Well, they are extremely greedy, stupid, gorey, angry, offensive, are probably all pyromaniacs, and don't want to be killed (but often end up being killed). Citations: Krenko's Command, Krenko's Enforcer , Dragon Fodder, Goblin Offensive, Brightstone Ritual , and Goblin Razerunners .

-Reputation:

Goblins are seen for about what they are, but some of the more cunning goblins are feared. As we see with Krenko, Mob Boss, some goblins aren't quite as dumb as they seem, and are basically the Al Capone of the Multiverse. Goblinslide tells us that they are feared, but only in numbers, but there are some like Braids, dementia summoner, who just say that they like goblins because "they make funny popping sounds when they die" (Skirk Prospector).

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Top Ranked	Achieved #1 position overall 9 years ago
Date added	9 years
Last updated	7 years
Legality	This deck is not Modern legal.
Rarity (main - side)	3 - 0 Mythic Rares 16 - 0 Rares 22 - 0 Uncommons 31 - 0 Commons
Cards	72
Avg. CMC	3.33
Tokens	Goblin 1/1 R, Knight 2/2 W w/ Vigilance
Folders	Miscellany, WUT?, Deck Ideas, Goblin Ideas, Useful information, Funny, Potential Buys, Modern Decks, Note other decks.., lols