The "WTF is this crap?" Game
General forum
Posted on Jan. 26, 2016, 3:44 p.m. by kengiczar
Alright so we've all seen some pretty bad cards. There are over costed draft commons, cards that are garbage with rules changes, and even entire mechanics that are just to slow or limiting to make a difference. coughOutlastcough
This thread is about something else though. I want you to post the most useless or outdated cards you can find. Cards that either actively hurt your game plan, are so limited and bad that they are never going to see play, or are just outclassed by newer better versions. Find them, then riff on them as hard as they deserve for you to.
First up? Orcish Librarian. A card printed years before Laboratory Maniac that you wouldn't want to play even if your deck was very good at self milling. Frankly I find it unbelievable that a card like this can even be played in modern. This is one orc who deserves to get crushed by the sweet jaws of Tarmogoyf. He's like the Tibalt, the Fiend-Blooded of creatures only worse.
lemmingllama says... #3
Sorrow's Path, because why not be sad that this beauty is in your deck?
January 26, 2016 4:12 p.m.
PepsiAddicted says... #4
yes, id like a One with Nothing and a Raging River, please.
January 26, 2016 4:15 p.m.
Rhadamanthus says... #5
It won't take long before the bonus mana from Snowfall is only good for paying its own cumulative upkeep cost.
January 26, 2016 4:28 p.m.
canterlotguardian says... #6
Razor Boomerang. just no. go away.
PepsiAddicted I actually use One with Nothing as a way to get to my win-con in my Legacy deck. :3
January 26, 2016 4:52 p.m.
What... Orcish Librarian is... Bad? No way. His ability is actually pretty good. You get to arrange the top 4 cards of your library IN RED! I could seriously plan on playing this in a mono-red commander deck! I actually think it's a pretty sick card, should be build around!
Now, Great Wall and Wood Elemental are bad. Like. Really. Bad.
January 26, 2016 5:06 p.m.
TheRedMage says... #9
I like mentioning Pale Moon as one of the most failed attempts at nonbasic hosing in a color that kinda likes nonbasics anyway (well, ok, except for Back to Basics). This card is just so freaking weak.
Although you kinda have to remember Shelkin Brownie, that compensates for its mediocre body by giving you the option to hose a mechanic that was never actually printed on any card.
January 26, 2016 5:13 p.m. Edited.
lemmingllama says... #11
If we are mentioning cards that are terrible since they hose certain mechanics, Break Open is a stellar option...
January 26, 2016 5:33 p.m.
The art on Orcish Librarian makes me think Foglio could make a pretty sick reanimation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
January 26, 2016 6 p.m.
lemmingllama says... #15
@InfiniteParadoX Actually, Nix is an insane sideboard card in No Banned List Modern. Countering Hypergenesis for one mana is great.
January 26, 2016 8:43 p.m.
InfiniteParadoX says... #16
well sure, in a format that doesn't exist it's good. in "you win for playing Razor Boomerang" Razor Boomerang is pretty good.
January 26, 2016 10:06 p.m.
DiamondFlavor says... #17
Aven Trooper seems like a criminal waste of some pretty atypical art.
January 26, 2016 10:13 p.m.
lemmingllama says... #18
@InfiniteParadoX It is a format. I'll link to the main No Banned List page that most people reference here. In particular, there is a section talking about Nix.
"Jason Ames had the fairest deck in Sultai Tempo, utilizing efficient removal and disruption alongside turning Tarmogoyfs sideways. The deck has solid matchups against everything in the current field, and could definitely adapt with numbers on whats expected. Plus, it runs Nix in the sideboard; that card counters everything in this format that matters."
January 26, 2016 10:23 p.m.
InfiniteParadoX says... #19
So is "you win for playing Razor Boomerang". It's exploding locally. Nix is as bad a card as One with Nothing is had one really insignificant use but is still awful.
January 26, 2016 10:56 p.m.
I read about half of that no banned list article and I had to stop. It seemed too awesome. Also I would have played Nix at my LGS due to the frequent appearance of affinity and hive-mind if I knew it was a card. Of course I only say that because for awhile literally half the players were on either Affinity or Bloom Titan.
January 27, 2016 1:24 a.m.
Wait.... Doesn't Nix kill living end? And doesn't it hose Force of Will? If it does, it's not that bad.
January 27, 2016 1:25 a.m.
In regular modern with the banned list Nix hits:
Ornithopter
Memnite
Mox Opal
Welding Jar
Living End
Pact of Negation
Summoner's Pact
Nourishing Shoal
Sickening Shoal
Chalice of the Void
It can counter 12 cards in any affinity deck easily. It's also great if you want to be the only one benefiting from Hive Mind. Just put Nix on a Stick, A.K.A. Isochron Scepter. Same thing with Knowledge Pool.
January 27, 2016 1:41 a.m.
TheRedMage says... #23
Nix is one of my favorite ways to "get" people in mental magic. Can counter Force of Will, Pact of Negation, Slaughter Pact, Ancestral Vision, or anything cascaded into by Bloodbraid Elf.
I think the card is too narrow to be used in most cases, but in mental magic it's pretty good since you run out of counterspells to cast for 
pretty quickly. All of them are pretty narrow (Annul, Dispel, Steel Sabotage and Envelop can only target specific types; Blue Elemental Blast and Hydroblast only specific colors; Outwit, Turn Aside and Intervene have targeting-based restrictions; Spell Snare and Nix have cost-based restrictions; Force Spike can only be used if the opponent tapped out; Swan Song, Disrupt, Flusterstorm and Stubborn Denial have some combination of the previous problems) but knowing that Nix exists can allow you to get out of some sticky situations there.
KillDatBUG says... #2
The Face of Fear... doesn't always have fear. What the fuck?
January 26, 2016 3:59 p.m.