Best Flavor Texts EVER
General forum
Posted on Aug. 10, 2011, 10:16 p.m. by idmantelli
So once again I'm asking all players to elaborate. What are the all time best flavor texts (quotes on the bottoms of the cards) in all of MTG? My definite favorite is from M12's Distress : "Of course I think I've gone mad. The little man who crawled out of my eye has been telling me that all day."
That may or may not be the real text, I forget what it was...
Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind That's all I have to say about that. Blue red flavor text for the win!
August 10, 2011 10:22 p.m.
Duel decks Counterspell . The pyromancer summoned up her mightiest onslaught of fire and rage. Jace feigned interest.
August 10, 2011 10:24 p.m.
Assault Strobe ' flavor text is one of my favorites.
August 10, 2011 10:51 p.m.
idmantelli says... #10
Brink of Disaster : "You always have a choice. That doesn't always mean you have a good choice."
August 10, 2011 11:43 p.m.
idmantelli says... #11
Dissipation Field : "Strike me once, shame on you. Strike me twice...Well, let's just see if you can."
Guard Duty : "I was told these were standard issue. Do I look standard to you?"
Lightmine Field : "If you want to kill a lot of goblins, just make your defenses look like fun."
Right now, I'm just looking at every card for the best :D
August 11, 2011 12:02 a.m.
borosgruul2 says... #12
Remand : "Well, at least all of that arm-waving and arcane babbling you did was impressive."
August 11, 2011 12:18 a.m.
nightscape says... #16
August 11, 2011 2:18 a.m.
theemptyquiver says... #18
Yes....I agree with the Werebear comment.
In fact I just re-discovered the comments on that card recently.
August 11, 2011 2:30 a.m.
idmantelli says... #20
Out of everything posted here, the ones that made the laugh the most are definitely Werebear , Wave of Indifference , Enormous Baloth , Graphic Violence , Pygmy Giant , and Bad Ass .
August 11, 2011 3:23 a.m.
idmantelli says... #21
ALL TIME BEST CARD IN THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD. THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN BEAT IT:Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental <--From Unhinged
August 11, 2011 3:26 a.m.
idmantelli says... #22
WHAT IS THIS UNHINGED? WAS IT EVER REAL? Double Header !!!
August 11, 2011 3:31 a.m.
theemptyquiver says... #23
Yes. It was. It was mainly a set of cards that were all tongue-in-cheek.
August 11, 2011 3:32 a.m.
I agree that Assault Strobe was good, but my personal favorite is Engulfing Slagwurm . "Its teeth exist only for decoration."
August 11, 2011 5:17 a.m.
deadmanwalking says... #26
I have to say, I'd never read Carnival of Souls before, and that one is definitely a new favorite.
In terms of flavor, I've always been very fond of Ruinous Minotaur . In terms of epic flavor, I like Time of Heroes , Knight of New Alara , Safe Passage , and Call to Glory . Canyon Minotaur is amusing, as is Spire Barrage . I wanna post one that's a little older, too, so I'll go with Beast of Burden : If it is meant to be nothing but a machine," Karn finally asked Jhoira, "why did Urza build it to be like me?"
August 11, 2011 6:03 a.m.
icekillaxx says... #28
i find this one funnny as hell Fodder Cannon and i like Repay in Kind oh and Incinerate from m12"Spontaneous combustion is a myth. If you burst into flames, someone wanted you to" -Chandra Nalaar
August 11, 2011 11:50 a.m.
Gorilla Titan :I want a banana this big!
Frazzled Editor :The penis mightyer then the sord.
Are two of my favorites.
August 11, 2011 12:56 p.m.
idmantelli says... #31
And let's not forget about scheme cards: Your Puny Minds Cannot Fathom
August 11, 2011 6:57 p.m.
August 14, 2011 9:30 p.m.
Justarsaus says... #34
some of my favs are just one word.... "ribit", "here", "ewwwe" but for the bestest ever i agree with Swamy the orignal Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind is amazing
August 15, 2011 6:03 a.m.
Stjernberg says... #35
Grizzly Bears The old one from alpha-6th edition:
"Don't try to outrun one of Dominia's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks the tree down and eats you."
Pouncing Jaguar from Urza's Saga:
"One pounce, she's hungry - you die quickly. Two, she's teaching her cubs - you're in for a long day."
Counterspell from tempest, tho the iceage one is also awesome:
"It was probably a lousy spell in the first place."-Ertai, wizard adept
May 9, 2012 7:04 p.m.
Stjernberg says... #36
But have to add that Fodder Cannon and Carnival of Souls are added to my favorites list :)
Incinerate from both magic 10 and 12 are also awesome!
May 9, 2012 7:15 p.m.
I'm a little late to the party lol. I can't remember the name of the card, text is: "So their killing our men. Well two can play at that game."
May 11, 2012 9:58 p.m.
Bottle Gnomes is full of win. My fiancee also enjoys Shatter from Mirrodin or M10: "Days of planning. Weeks of building. Months of perfecting. Seconds of smashing."
June 27, 2012 11:42 p.m.
Archon of Justice: In dark times, Truth bears a blade.
Archon of Redemption: Until Emeria is free, he raises his sword in her name.
June 29, 2012 12:08 a.m.
min out of the list here is Lightmine Field i first read the text tht was writen next to it the checked picture lol
When Fluffy Bunnies Attack "Get it? Bunnies, letters, -X/-X? Me neither."
July 2, 2012 3:29 p.m.
"Deep in the woods you could hear the laughing, then crying when the killing was over."
July 7, 2012 1:48 p.m.
Time of Heroes for sure. Just amazing flavor on that one.
Myr Galvanizer gotta love the myr.
July 7, 2012 8:13 p.m.
I'm not sure I could pick just 1 favorite but pretty much any goblin card has awesome flavor text. I just had a thought that maybe a different thread for each expansion might be a good idea.
idmantelli says... #2
and M12's Distress, not the older one.
August 10, 2011 10:16 p.m.