You: "Why do you want to play this deck?"
Me: "Because friends are about as necessary as lands"
You: "What do you plan to do with this deck?"
Me: "I'm going to burn this F#$%er to the ground"
You: "How can you live with yourself while you play this sick crime against both nature and humanity?"
Me: "Just take that little voice in your head that tell you to be tactful and understanding, and shoot it. Shoot it in the God D#$% face."
The main strategy of this deck is simple. Play a land, destroy a land, pass turn. You don't really do much else.
The main win con is your opponent quitting while simultaneously giving you the middle finger (Any other type of forfeit isn't truly a win). Technically you can cast two
Roiling Terrain
s after you've used some
Poison the Well
s late game for a win, but the first method is much more satisfying.
While this deck isn't the most competitive, it is pretty funny. (To play with, not play against.)
RAMP
Talisman of Indulgence
- Mana is mana is mana. I'll take what I can get. I have several 4 drop cards I want to play on turn 3. This card lets me do that.
LAND DESTRUCTION
Boom/Bust - Please rename to bread//butter
Molten Rain
- It doesn't get much simpler than this. pay 3 mana. Land go kablam.
Stone Rain - I lied. It did get simpler.
Poison the Well
- This water tastes kind of funny.
Roiling Terrain
- Better version of poison the well
MY LANDS
Darksteel Citadel - important rule to note. you can target indestructible cards with destroy spells. this does not cause the spell to fizzle if the target is valid. the card just does nothing. example. you may use Boom/Bust targeting Darksteel Citadel and any land an opponent controls. boom will attempt to destroy your land and fails. then it attempts to destroy your opponents land and succeeds. in a pinch you can also target a land then in response to your spell, sac it. this would be relevant mostly with Ghost Quarter and Encroaching Wastes.
Ghost Quarter - i cant always draw a Land Destruction spell. this card is there to fill in the gaps. it may not put them back a full land but it gets another land out of their deck, which means its less likely for them to draw into a land when they need it. (which ill make sure they need)
SUPPORT
Manamorphose - two reasons. both of them are red. i have a lot of double red and several colorless mana producing lands. besides fixing up my mana. this card is fine just to replace itself. its like saying i only want to build a 56 card deck.
Anger of the Gods - its entirely possible that they get some small creatures out. i need a way to deal with that game 1.
Reforge the Soul - late game top deck turns into full hand. my opponent should only have 3 lands tops so this is much more helpful to me.
Chandra, the Firebrand - it can cause some minor damage, but the main use is the minus that copies my land destruction, and given enough time the ult.
Koth of the Hammer
- if anything wins the game it will be this or chandra copying
Roiling Terrain
. he makes mountains into man lands (or just untap it for an extra mana). he makes extra mana to cast two land destruction spells. or the ult which makes all of my mountains into pain machines. which is a game winner in roughly 3-4 turns after the ult.
Side Board
Flame Slash - this deck has one big weaknesses. decks that get things out with less than 3 lands. usually those creatures are small in which case Anger of the Gods takes care of it. but if they play something bigger, then i will need a bigger response. i probably need to find something better to replace this.
Guttural Response - I see you play counters. Meet my counter to counters.
Shivan Wumpus
- 6/6 trampler for 4. or i pay 4 mana to destroy a land and we try again next turn. i side board them in second game when the opponent sides out their removal.
Trinisphere
- it will be pretty hard to cast any cards if all spells now cost a minimum of three... and you only left your opponent with 2. oops.
I'm trying to keep this version of the deck mono red. ill also be working on another one that splashes colors.
If you have any other ideas on how to properly burn this world to ash, please leave a comment below. if you think that playing a Boil against a mono-blue deck just to watch that player cry, is an entertaining thought , then leave a +1.
