DMH: New Year's Resolution

Casual

floofynewf

Artifact (9)

• 1x Amulet of Unmaking
• 1x Basalt Monolith
• 1x Black Lotus
• 1x Feldon's Cane
• 1x Gustha's Scepter
• 1x Ice Cauldron
• 1x Lapis Lazuli Talisman
• 1x Thran Forge
• 1x Tormod's Crypt

Enchantment (1)

• 1x Underworld Dreams

Sorcery (6)

• 1x Armageddon
• 1x Channel
• 1x Demonic Tutor
• 1x Jokulhaups
• 1x Shatterstorm
• 1x Timetwister

Creature (3)

• 1x Auspicious Ancestor
• 1x Onulet
• 1x Personal Incarnation

Land (11)

• 1x Island
• 2x Mountain
• 4x Plains
• 4x Swamp

Instant (3)

• 1x Healing Salve
• 1x Lightning Bolt
• 1x Twiddle

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InQuest Magazine was one of the main sources for Magic information and specifically card prices back in the day. One feature they ran was an article called Dead Man's Hand. The article was a Magic puzzle centred on a game being played by Eugene T. Dudley, the worst Magic player in the world. The premise was that you couldn't win the game, so you had to help Eugene accomplish some alternate goal. I'm hoping to add more puzzles as I find them. They can be found here.

This puzzle is from the January 1998 issue. It includes my solution, but I haven't found a copy of the next issue to be able to include the official solution.

Setup

Copied from the original article: https://archive.org/details/inquest-33/page/n63/mode/2up

You Can't Win

It's the end of the year and Eugene T. Dudley, the world's worst Magic player, is celebrating in style. He's eating only the choicest food and using only the choicest cards; well, they're choice according to him. Eugene was going to make it his New Year's resolution to finally win a game of Magic, but he realized it's foolish to make a resolution he can't possibly keep. Instead, he's set his sights toward what he believes to be a more reasonable goal. To usher in 1998, Eugene wants you to help him turn back the clock on the current game. By the end of his turn, you must have seven cards in your hand, no cards in play, no cards in your graveyard and exactly 20 life. And this is easier than winning? It is for Eugene.

Keep in Mind the Following:

• It's the beginning of your main phase.
• By the end of your turn, you must have seven cards in your hand, no cards in play, no cards in yuor graveyard and exactly 20 life.
• You currently have 37 life.
• You don't know what any of the cards in Eugene's library are, but you do know about all the cards in his graveyard.
• Never order surf and turf at a diner. They've had it waiting in the bacj for someone since before you were born.

Cards in Play

• Auspicious Ancestor
• Basalt Monolith
• Black Lotus
• Gustha's Scepter/Shatterstorm
• Ice Cauldron
• Lapis Lazuli Talisman
• Onulet
• Personal Incarnation
• Thran Forge

Lands

• Island
• Mountain x2
• Plains x4
• Swamp x4

Hand

• Armageddon
• Demonic Tutor
• Healing Salve
• Jokulhaups
• Timetwister
• Tormod's Crypt
• Twiddle

Graveyard

• Amulet of Unmaking
• Channel
• Feldon's Cane
• Lightning Bolt
• Underworld Dreams

Note: The picture in the article shows a Lodestone Bauble in the hand, but the text description has Tormod's Crypt in hand instead of the bauble.

Hints

Hint 1

The solution is deceptively simple. You only end up using 3 cards, the rest is properly tapping and organizing your triggers.

Hint 2

The note in the Setup about Lodestone Bauble vs Tormod's Crypt is very relevant. You need the Tormod's Crypt.

Red Herrings

There are A LOT of cards that look useful, but you don't actually need to solve this one.

Cards you don't need include:

Cards in Play

• Basalt Monolith
• Black Lotus
• Gustha's Scepter/Shatterstorm
• Ice Cauldron
• Lapis Lazuli Talisman
• Thran Forge

Cards in Hand

• Armageddon
• Demonic Tutor
• Healing Salve
• Twiddle

Also, none of the cards in your graveyard are relevant. You also do not need all of the lands.

Solution

I haven't found a copy of the magazine with the solution, so I only have the way I solved it.

How I Did It

1. Tap 4 Plains, 2 Mountain, the Island, and two of the Swamps. ({B} {B} {U} {R} {R} {W} {W} {W} {W} in your mana pool)
2. Cast Jokulhaups. This destroys everything in play. You now have no permanents left. ({B} {B} {U} in your mana pool)
3. Auspicious Ancestor, Onulet, and Personal Incarnation all trigger upon being destroyed. Gain 5 total life from the ancestor and Onulet first, to make your life total 41. Then lose half of your life rounded up to Personal Incarnation. Half of 41 is 20.5, rounded up is 21. You lose 21 life going to 20 with no permanents in play.
4. Cast Tormod's Crypt ({B} {B} {U} in your mana pool)
5. Using the remaining mana, cast Timetwister. This clears your graveyard and draws you 7 cards. You now have 7 cards in hand and 20 life with only Tormod's Crypt in play and only Timetwister in your graveyard.
6. Activate Tormod's Crypt and target yourself. The Crypt is sacrificed as part of the cost, so it will remove itself from the game as part of its resolution. You now have 7 cards in hand, 20 life, no cards in play, and no cards in your graveyard.
7. End your turn.

You can alternatively overtap for mana at the beginning, reverse the Personal Incarnation and Auspicious Ancestor/Onulet triggers, and use mana burn to get yourself back down to 20. That's how I originally solved it, but then realised there's a much simpler way...

Date added	4 months
Last updated	4 months
Legality	This deck is Casual legal.
Rarity (main - side)	9 - 0 Rares 10 - 0 Uncommons 3 - 0 Commons
Cards	33
Avg. CMC	2.64
Folders	InQuest Dead Man's Hand Puzzles