Best Flavor Texts EVER

General forum

Posted on Aug. 10, 2011, 10:16 p.m. by idmantelli

So once again I'm asking all players to elaborate. What are the all time best flavor texts (quotes on the bottoms of the cards) in all of MTG? My definite favorite is from M12's Distress : "Of course I think I've gone mad. The little man who crawled out of my eye has been telling me that all day."

That may or may not be the real text, I forget what it was...

Dallie says... #1

As someone said earlier, I really really like the text on Remand

June 12, 2013 6:06 p.m.

IceDragon says... #2

Hex . Nuf' said.

June 12, 2013 6:23 p.m.

Devonin says... #3

@IceDragon

Hex is the most beautifully designed card in the history of Magic the Gathering.

June 12, 2013 6:25 p.m.

LotusCrown100 says... #4

I would have to say either
Acidic Soil - Phyrexia had tried to take Urza's soul. He was relieved that Shiv tried to claim only his soles.
Aboroth - The Weatherlight banked sharply as the colossal beast rose up to crush the lone rider. "My bet's on the dirt," Gerrard said flatly.
Abyssal Gatekeeper - "There are two ways for me to pass this gate. One involves you remaining conscious." Gerrard of the Weatherlight.
Goblin Welder - "I wrecked your metal guy, boss. But look! I made you an ashtray."All hail the Welder lol :D.

June 12, 2013 6:36 p.m.

Yeroc68 says... #5

I have always liked Wild Hunger .

June 13, 2013 5:33 p.m.

meme97 says... #6

My Best Flavor Texts EVER reported to the card is Stifle :"If I wanted your opinion, I'd have told you what it was." Pemmin, Riptide survivor

June 14, 2013 6:30 p.m.

meme97 says... #7

Goblin Furrier and Stifle is my favorite

June 15, 2013 8:10 a.m.

Enratic says... #8

Turn to Mist has always made me grin :D

June 15, 2013 8:32 a.m.

gemmerich says... #9

I can't believe Deranged Assistant hasn't been mentioned yet!

I actually made a deck around him and Carnival of Souls , All about the flavor text

July 9, 2013 12:54 p.m.

hiddengibbons says... #10

"When these Apes want something, Its a matter of Gibbon take"

The pun makes you want to PUNish the person who wrote it.

July 10, 2013 1:48 p.m.

Nortti says... #11

"Don't underestimate the aerodynamic qualities of the common goblin." - Goblin Grenade

July 10, 2013 3:13 p.m.
September 11, 2013 9:49 a.m.

DaFerra says... #13

Dissension Seal of Fire

September 15, 2013 2:31 p.m.

MR H3AT says... #14

The zendikar version of Day of Judgment is by far my favorite.

September 15, 2013 5:41 p.m.

SobbingAcorn says... #15

Definitely Root Greevil - the root of all greevils.

February 25, 2014 1:12 p.m.

fetchystick says... #16

Definitely Righteous Charge

May 20, 2014 7:53 a.m.

SobbingAcorn says... #17

Counterspell from tempest is my favorite. I don't know how to make that version show up, but you should look it up; it's the best.

May 20, 2014 8:29 a.m.

Octrate says... #18

Pact of Negation is my personal favorite. Witty and true.

May 22, 2014 12:36 a.m.

alexxq says... #19

Hands down Trash for Treasure.

December 16, 2014 2:29 p.m.

happyman379 says... #20

March 5, 2015 10:55 a.m.

Canyon Minotaur-its funny cuz its a shamefully bad card

m11 Unsummon-you're trespassing in my reality. Ask permission next time.

March 5, 2015 7:06 p.m.

JaceArveduin says... #22

Sedge Scorpion Is actually a favorite of mine.

Any Flavor Text that involves Jaya is also awesome.Burnout Inferno Lava Burst Meteor Shower Mystic Compass

Acorn Catapult is also another good one.

March 6, 2015 3:57 a.m.

Um... JaceArveduin... Mystic Compass doesn't have a flavor text. Or is there another printing of it that does, besides just the Classic 6th Edition one that shows up on default?

April 1, 2015 3:16 p.m.

JaceArveduin says... #24

canterlotguardian The Allies one reads:

"And I say north is where I want it to be." Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

For some reason, the site show's the older one.

April 1, 2015 3:40 p.m.

Oh. Also yay more Jaya flavor text love. :D

April 1, 2015 4 p.m.

MarduGras says... #26

My fav has got to be Canyon Minotaur

April 1, 2015 5:38 p.m.

RVI says... #27

My personal favorite is easily Goblin Pyromancer.

"The good news is, we figured out how the wand works. The bad news is, we figured out how the wand works."

April 1, 2015 10:02 p.m.

KoriAne says... #28

Dragonspeaker Shaman.

For me, this thread ends here.

April 2, 2015 7:01 a.m.

DBCooper says... #29

Goblin Guide has always been my favorite.

April 2, 2015 7:14 a.m.

RVI says... #30

Inspiration is also an honorable mention for me, because it seems so utterly on-flavor for Izzet.

"Day 31: I finally succeeded in my time reversal experiment!

"Day 30: I might have a problem here."

-Journal of the Prime Izmagnus

April 2, 2015 8:06 a.m.

This discussion has been closed