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War-tooth Hate Blade

Legendary Creature - Human Warrior

First Strike, Haste

6/5

A 6/5 with first strike and haste for 8 MV. He even has a name that makes him seem more impressive. He even has a sub subtype (profession) that doesn’t fit with effective archetypes like Knight or Soldier weenie aggro. This would have been a bomb back in 94’ when Legends came out. Create another underwhelming legendary creature in the tradition of 94’ Legends that somehow fits with the Saga

Rylfgh Glyfytyth, Gainer of Experience

Legendary Creature - Wryng

Flying, Trample, Double Strike, Life Link.

Whenever a creature dies, put an experience counter on ~.

When ~ has twenty or more experience counters, remove all experience counters and target opponent discards his or her hand, mills twenty, and sacrifices all lands.

This is gonna get worse before it gets better

6/6

Wild card

Mebu, Successful Merchant

Legendary Creature - Kobold Merchant

; Sacrifice a clue token: Create a treasure token.

; Sacrifice a treasure token: Create a Food Token.

; Sacrifice a Food token: Create a Clue Token.

; Sacrifice two Food tokens, two Treasure Tokens, and two Clue tokens: Target opponent gets an emblem with “whenever you cast a spell, mill two”

Partner.

2/2

Create a jank rare that gets passed up in drafts and causes people to scoop if they crack it open in a booster at a pre-release

Here is the scene: Bridge of Death. If the link doesn’t work just look it up on YouTube

The Grrraaiilll

Legendary Artifact

;: gain five life. Activate this ability only during your Upkeep.

; Sacrifice ~: Search your library for a land card named “Bridge of Death” and put that card onto the battlefield.

Create the “Bridge of Death” legendary land card. It’s my favorite scene from Monty Python Holy Grail.

Tazmania

Legendary Land

: Add

,: Destroy target creature.

Everything kills you in Tazmania. You’ll be six feet down under before you know it

Create another land based on an actual place. Could be a city

Judgement of the Council

Sorcery

Exile all tapped creatures

Forecast — , Reveal ~ from your hand: Exile Target tapped creature. (Activate this ability only during your upkeep and only once each turn.)

We find the defendant guilty of all charges

Make a Bear planeswalker. Bears will be a thing

Loxodon Game Changer

Legendary Creature - Elephant Cleric Warrior

~ Gets +2/+2 for each artifact you control.

~ Has double strike if equipped with an equipment named “Loxodon Warhammer”

0/3

Wild

Homeless Drug Addict

Creature - Human Zombie

get high: sacrifice a permanent, ~ gets +1/+1 until end of turn

1/1

Create a legendary creature based on a terrible person from history

Urabrask, the Obvious

Legendary Creature - Phyrexian Praetor

Trample, Haste

Creatures your opponents control have haste. Other permanents you control enter the battlefield tapped.

7/7

Another praetor that is strong, but gives you the drawback

Bebop, Street Brawler

Legendary Creature - Boar Mutant

Haste, Trample, Menace.

Whenever an equipment enters the battlefield under your control, you may attach it to ~.

6/4

Rocksteady is next

Leonardo, Master of Blades

Legendary Creature - Turtle Ninja

Double strike, Hexproof

You may pay instead of paying the equip cost for equipment with “Sword” in the name when equipping ~.

If you both own and control three other Turtle Ninjas with different names, ~ can’t be blocked.

3/4

I so badly wanted to put “ninja turtle,” but species usually supersedes class/job. Each Ninja turtle would be a different combination of green and another color. The color would ideally coincide with the color the turtle used or represents. Continue with another Ninja Turtle

Mardu War Tax

Enchantment

Creatures you control get +3/+3.

You lose one life for each attacking creature you control.

At the end of your turn, If you didn’t attack with at least two creatures, you lose three life.

“Countering” spells is starting to become old hat as we begin to see cards that “exile” target spell instead, thus circumventing “can’t be countered.” Create a card that exiles a spell or can’t be “exile countered”

Panglacial Cheatyface

Creature - Wurm

Trample

If ~ is in your library, you may sneak ~ onto the battlefield while searching your library. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile ~.

9/5

I like Panglacial Wurm I had considered using Maskwood Nexus + Rooftop Storm to cast it for free while searching the library. Repeat challenge

Plague Judgement

Sorcery

Cleave (You may cast this spell for its cleave cost. If you do, remove the words in square brackets.)

Split second.

Destroy all creatures [you don’t control]. They can’t be regenerated.

I will send the full force of my plagues against you and against your officials and your people, so you may know that there is no one like me - Exodus 9

I really like the cleave mechanic so I took it in another direction. Create another reverse cleave card where you pay less and the spell does less.

Phyrexian Collaborator

Creature - Horror

Trample

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you lose one life and that player gains one life.

6/6

Create a creature that is also an instant. Not just a creature with flash or evoke or an instant that makes a token, but an actual instant creature. How would that work?

I should have added that the mana symbols in ~’s cost don’t count toward devotio and that p/t is 6/6. I’m tired after my 12 shift

Stamos, God of Charisma

Legendary Enchantment Creature - God

Indestructible, Flash

As long as your devotion to any color is more than three, ~ isn’t a creature.

When ~ enters the battlefield, choose one:

• your opponents can’t cast spells this turn.

• Counter target spell.

• ~ Deals 4 damage to any target.

Create an enchantment land. Not an aura that enchants lands, but a land that is an enchantment that will probably get banned when people abuse it in Enchantment Affinity decks

Avacyn, Angel of Greater Good

~ Can’t be countered, Richard.

Flying, Indestructible, Vigilance, Lifelink.

At the beginning of your end step, if you both own and control ~ and a creature named Griselbrand, Demon of False Truth, exile them, then meld them into Avabrand, Demon Angel.

7/7

Avabrand, Demon Angel

Legendary Creature - Demon Angel Mutant

Flying, Lifelink, Doublestrike, Vigilance, Trample, Haste, Indestructible, Deathtouch, Hexproof.

15/15

Create Griselbrand, Demon of False Truth that melds with Avacyn, Angel of Greater Good. I had a feeling about those two. I figured at some point they’d get together. All that time sealed up in the Helvault together. They had to have set the foundation for a happy marriage

Sigarda, Eldrazi Consort

Legendary Creature - Eldrazi Angel

~ can’t be countered

Flying, Hexproof.

Whenever you cast a spell, each player sacrifices a permanent.

4/4

Create a card that hates on players of a certain name