Any good MTG Jokes?

General forum

Posted on April 17, 2012, 11:27 a.m. by gheridarigaaz

I seen the one about "it's beginning to look a lot like grixis",but apart from that I dont know many...I Whip my Flare back and forth...

STG says... #2

Magic the Gathering is a cheap hobby.

April 17, 2012 11:40 a.m.

OrgasmAndTea says... #3

Chandra is the hottest planeswalker??

Oh dear. I cannot apologize enough for that one...

April 17, 2012 12:11 p.m.

chiccocesena says... #4

since i have a deck based on HatredMTG Card: Hatred a freind of mine once said:"There's too much HatredMTG Card: Hatred around here!"Another guy said: "No, he only has 4 in his deck"

I know it's nothing special, but it's the only one I ever heard

April 17, 2012 12:14 p.m.

gheridarigaaz says... #5

some cards are jokes in themselves... Gorilla TitanMTG Card: Gorilla Titan

April 17, 2012 12:29 p.m.

gheridarigaaz says... #6

some cards are jokes in themselves... Gorilla TitanMTG Card: Gorilla Titan

April 17, 2012 12:29 p.m.

Penumbra says... #7

I personally like the current flavortext on MTG salvations "Cavern of Souls" land.

April 17, 2012 1:14 p.m.

OrgasmAndTea says... #8

Nothing beats Hysterical BlindnessMTG Card: Hysterical Blindness for flavour.

April 17, 2012 1:19 p.m.

gheridarigaaz says... #9

Damn that cavern... I'm gonna hate playing against people who have the money to play a set of those :[

On another note, i think there should be t-shirts for those cards that can say "I fought against a titan... and lived to tell the tale"

April 17, 2012 1:56 p.m.

not really jokes, but my friends and i jus tcall the cards dumb names...Jizz-Midget, the Firegrind, The Mimeogasm, Liege of the Dangle, Turds of Paradise, Jace, Mammary Adept, Demon of Death's Taint, Poon-Scarred Demon, Jace, Hind Sculptor, Mana Leak, etc

April 17, 2012 2:21 p.m.

olowleye says... #11

The only sorta mtg joke I know is for the more recent pro tour an its simply - How many Galvanic BlastMTG Card: Galvanic Blast's does it take to defeat Jon finkle?...(owl voice from that tootsie pop commercial) lets find three-hee! haha'hah not to funny when yah type it out. More of the moment kinda thing haha.

April 17, 2012 3:12 p.m.

Miasma says... #12

olowleye - it took 4 to kill Richard Bland. lol

April 17, 2012 3:31 p.m.

OrgasmAndTea says... #13

How many Galvanic BlastMTG Card: Galvanic Blasts does it take to kill Chuck Norris?

None. He's too manly for Magic.

April 17, 2012 3:56 p.m.

olowleye says... #14

hah'ah Richard Bland hahah'ah

April 17, 2012 4:30 p.m.

Tibalt is a good card./thread

April 17, 2012 5:38 p.m.

pfd88 says... #16

Gorehorn MinotaursMTG Card: Gorehorn Minotaurs flavor text is hilarious. :)

April 17, 2012 6:31 p.m.

olowleye says... #17

Haha'ah magic a cheap hobby haha.

April 17, 2012 6:34 p.m.

Nobilior says... #18

Well, its cheaper than paintball...

April 17, 2012 7:56 p.m.

heinm1989 says... #19

cheaper than warhammer

April 17, 2012 8:33 p.m.

olowleye says... #20

It all really depends I guess. I know folks who pack-up over 5,000 in binder's let alone a grand in a EDH deck. It gets pretty serious sometimes haha.

April 17, 2012 9:17 p.m.

the contents of the prerelease helvault. now thats a joke.

April 17, 2012 10:15 p.m.

olowleye says... #22

haha'haaha brotha ludwigthewalrus...YES! ahaha'ah

April 18, 2012 12:19 a.m.

runelord says... #23

i forgot what thread it was and who said it but someone referred to a werewolf card as "sunny side up" i got a good laugh out of that

April 19, 2012 10:06 a.m.

Miasma says... #24

What are the contents of the prerelease Helvault?

April 19, 2012 10:47 a.m.

commander sized versions of the mythic angels, double sided angel/demon tokens, and a spindown life counter.

April 19, 2012 11:03 a.m.

heinm1989 says... #26

Can you send the link to where you got that....and yes...that really is a joke.

April 19, 2012 11:50 a.m.

some idiot is selling them on ebay. Thats the only source that hasnt been taken down by wizards

April 19, 2012 5:39 p.m.

MTNman says... #28

hey babyruth, dont forget fingering holes

June 13, 2013 12:57 a.m.

hiddengibbons says... #29

June 13, 2013 12:23 p.m.

KingSorin says... #30

June 15, 2013 8:55 a.m.

Bloodthirsty says... #31

Hey, do you know why Scorned Villager is the best card from Innistrad block?





Because when you transform it, it taps for GG.

August 14, 2013 5:05 a.m.

The flavor text of Batterhorn .

August 14, 2013 5:47 p.m.

rache says... #33

Mtg is like sex, when it's good it's great but when it's bad... it's still pretty good. That's off of a shirt a friend has

August 14, 2013 6:04 p.m.

Absinthman says... #34

Jace, Chandra, Ajani, Garruk and Liliana walk into a bar, and the barkeep is all like: "No, not you again!"

Ba dum tss

August 14, 2013 6:59 p.m.

Absinthman says... #35

@KingSorin: Storm Crow is not a joke, that some serious business.

August 14, 2013 7:03 p.m.

sylvannos says... #36

You can play three Little Girl s with one City of Ass .

Okay, not really a joke, but it just sounds funny and dirty all at once.

August 14, 2013 7:11 p.m.

Schuesseled says... #37


" If the game ended on turn 15 then there is simply NO WAY that I would lose. I have never lost a game (other than a control mirror match) with this deck that went more than 12 or 13 turns. "

Taken from this deck: I'm going to do whatever it takes to gain Control. What a joker, funny guy. Certainly made me chuckle.

August 14, 2013 8:17 p.m.

SharuumNyan says... #38

I saw this one on Reddit a few months ago...

Q: How many MtG players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Two. One to screw in the bulb, and the other to tell him how he could have done it two turns faster.

August 15, 2013 1:46 a.m.

This discussion has been closed