Epicurus Old Man Timmy -

• Edit User
• Edit Profile
• Enable styles
• Disable styles
• Unblock user
• Block user
• Disable chat
• Enable chat
• Remove friend
• Add as friend
• Gift Tokens
• Settings

Steady: (adjective) /ˈstedē/

1. firmly fixed, supported, or balanced; not shaking or moving.

2. regular, even, and continuous in development, frequency, or intensity.

Solemn Sniper

Creature - Elf Ranger

Reach

Steady - As your turn ends, if this creature didn't attack or activate any abilities that require it to tap, increase its base power by 1.

: ~ deals damage equal to its power to target creature with flying

1/4

If I designed a keyword ability named "steady" (which, as it turns out, I just did), it would be a variable effect, basically (not literally) "triggered" by the creature not doing anything during your turn. So the rules text would read:

As your turn ends, if this creature didn't attack or activate any abilities that require it to tap, XYZ...

This guy would be an uncommon, at best. Maybe even common. Make a rare creature with Steady next.

Wishing Well

Artifact

Sacrifice a Treasure, : Until end of turn, you may play up to one nonland card you own from outside of the game. If you do, you lose life equal to its mana value, and untap Wishing Well.

, Sacrifice Wishing Well: Create six Treasure tokens

Make an artifact with the phrases "until your next upkeep," "target opponent" and "for the first time" in the rules text.

Oh, and I forgot Crucible of Worlds. Sorry, just assumed that was already there.

Cards I would add to this list:

• Biogenic Ooze

• Sylvan Safekeeper

• Life from the Loam

• Elvish Reclaimer

• Sword of the Animist

• Dust Bowl

• Groundskeeper

I'm no good at suggesting what to remove for my suggestions, because I'm not the one playing the deck. And some of these might not be on your list because of price. Just thought I'd add my two cents.

Cheers!

DragonOfTheWest, Dude. That is perfect. I want one.

Housegheist That's a definite maybe.

Ring Around the Rosies

Enchantment - Saga

Each player gets a poison counter

Create three Herb tokens

Exile two target nonartifact creatures. ~ deals 5 damage to you.

IV: For each creature and each planeswalker, roll a four-sided die. If the roll is less than 4, destroy that creature or planeswalker.

Make a noncreature permanent that creates token copies of old-a$$ janky creatures.

Sib, Lackadaisical Shepherd

Legendary Creature - Human Peasant

Eminence - During your upkeep, if ~ is on the battlefield or in the command zone, you get a rest counter

~ costs less to cast for each rest counter you have

Whenever ~ enters the battlefield, create a 1/2 white Dog creature token

At the beginning of each end step, if you control a Dog, create X 0/1 white Goat creature tokens, where X is half the number of Goats you control, rounded up

0/2

Make a card that cares about both Adventures and Venture into the dungeon. Maybe it goes on an adventure itself? Maybe it's not a creature? Maybe it doesn't do either on its own, but just triggers when other things do? All of these, and more, are up to you.

Final Command

Legendary Sorcery

Choose one:

• Add ten mana in any combination of colors to your mana pool

• Reveal the top ten cards of your library. You may cast any instant and/or sorcery cards revealed this way. Shuffle the remaining cards into your library.

• Destroy up to one target permanent of each type

Fateful Hour - If you have 5 or less life, you may choose all three

Make another modal, legendary 3-color sorcery using the format of this card. Doesn't have to have fateful hour, but give it something that allows you to choose additional options based on something situational.

Nicol Bolas, Vengeant

Legendary Creature - Elder Dragon

Flying, protection from colorless

Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a player, exile all colorless nonland permanents that player controls. If that player controlled no colorless nonland permanents, exile all lands that player controls instead

Escape - , exile 7 other cards from your graveyard

7/7

His next scheme is quite simple. Tired of having his plots to control the multiverse foiled, he decides instead to burn it all. Starting with his twin brother, and everything he cares about.

Next, make a new God for Theros.

TypicalTimmy King of the Vast is pretty sick, but it would be fairly simple to play it on turn 3 without much help (depending on the number of players, he'd drop turn 2 pretty much all of the time). I think that if it were a in the mana cost instead of a , and if the "everyone can play extra lands" ability was an Eminence ability, it would be a lot more fair, while still being badass.

Cannibal Harvest

Sorcery

All creatures get -X/-X until end of turn. Create a food token for each creature that died in this way.

I'm no good at flavor text (pun intended), but I think that you'll get the idea.

Make something to pair with this card; something that either uses or otherwise cares about food tokens.

Granny Weatherwax

Legendary Creature - Human Warlock

Hexproof

Other Warlocks you control have Evolve

Coven - , Discard a card, : Choose a card name from among Pongify, Lightning Bolt or Fog. Create a copy of that spell. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost. Use this ability only if you control 3 creatures with different powers.

2/5

Bonus points if you know the reference.

Make a non-legendary creature with coven and one other named ability.

Garruk's Helm

Legendary Artifact - Equipment

When ~ enters the battlefield, equip it to target planeswalker you control if that planeswalker is Garruk or if was spent to cast this spell

Equipped planeswalker gains protection from white and blue, and "+1 Create a 3/3 green Beast creature token with trample"

Equip Planeswalker

Make another equipment for either a creature or planeswalker (or both) that makes the equipped permanent deal damage or additional damage determined by a dice roll.

Pride Matriarch

Creature - Cat

whenever ~ enters the battlefield, and at the beginning of each upkeep, if a player controls more creatures than you, create a 2/1 white and green Cat creature token. Then, if a player has more life than you, put a lifelink counter on that token.

3/3

Was going to call her "Pride Queen," but that means something totally different these days. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

And just to assure you that I'm NOT a bigot, my next challenge is to take any LGBTQ+ figure from history/literature/etc. and make a legendary creature card for them.

Scurrying Quadtusk

Creature - Rat Boar Elephant Mutant

Skulk, Vigilance, Haste

Whenever this creature mutates, put your choice of a lifelink counter, a deathtouch counter or a first strike counter on it

Whenever another creature you control mutates, this creature's abilities trigger as though it mutated

2/4

Ninja'd.

There are a lot of white giants, and a lot of blue giants, but there are literally zero Azorius giants (unless you count Jotun Owl Keeper, but that's pushing it). Therefore, completing the first challenge, by definition, completes the second...

Felfignor, Colossus of the East Gate

Legendary Creature - Giant Soldier

Ward

Whenever ~ attacks alone, no more than one creature may block this turn

~ may block 2 additional creatures each combat

8/11

Ok, so, first of all, I have no idea what the "East Gate" is. It just sounded good.

Second, oh my God this guy.

He's not a tribal lord, but pairs very well with Thryx, the Sudden Storm, Oathsworn Giant, and Favor of the Mighty. Furthermore, Azorius is very well suited for Voltron, especially in a midrange build.

Sorry, I'm kinda proud of this guy. He's an absolute Timmy card, that begs for Johnny to break.

Triple ninja'd, but I don't care. See the many challenges above, and try to figure out what it is that you're supposed to do next. I'm gonna go cook dinner. Chicken alfredo with garlic rolls. Enjoy your night.

Well, we just saw the first ever mono-red Elf with AFR's Delina, Wild Mage, and she just so happens to be an agro commander. So instead, I'll go a different route.

Grobujen, Tyrant of Fire Sea

Legendary Creature - Kraken

Whenever ~ enters the battlefield or attacks, creatures you control get +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is ~'s power

: ~ gets +1/+0 until end of turn

3/10

I have a proverb that I like to call "Schrodinger's Spider."

The deadly brown recluse likes to live in piles of unattended clothing. So, if you have any piles of unattended clothing laying around, and you live in an area where brown recluse spiders live, then any given pile of unattended clothing may or may not have a brown recluse spider living in it. Therefore, all piles of unattended clothing both do and do not have brown recluse spiders living in them until you pick the piles up and move them to the laundry. At which point, the dichotomy is resolved, and you are either bitten by venomous poison, or you are not. But until that time, both outcomes are equally plausible.

Sleep tight, kids.

Make an artifact that makes spider tokens, with a D20 roll involved somehow or other. Keep it black bordered, please.

Of course, I was double ninja'd. So I guess never mind. Damnit.

Housegheist I'll consider Plumb the Forbidden, because I do need more draw power in here. I've actually been thinking about adding Life's Legacy for the same reason, and in a lot of ways I like that even better for this deck than Plumb Forb. Either way, the problem then becomes what to cut from the list to fit either of them.

Which is why I would turn down Bastion of Remembrance. In any other Mazirek deck, that card (and many others you don't see on this list) would be an automatic include. Here, however, I need the space to smash in as many Squirrel spells as possible. So that, Viscera Seer, Zulaport Cutthroat and/or Blood Artist, etc. etc. etc., did not make the cut.

Thanks for checking in!

Endersword334 I honestly have been thinking that Squirrel Sanctuary is a bit lackluster in this deck, so maybe that's something that I could swap out for more removal. I do appreciate the suggestion, and I'll keep it in mind as the deck evolves over time. Thanks!

Endersword334 Very nice, and yes good synergy. I'm not certain that I need additional removal given what I'm working with, but I've been wrong about such things many times before. Is there anything on my list you would replace with that?