A friend is a tryhard
The Blind Eternities forum
Posted on June 23, 2015, 7:22 a.m. by Personfigure
Hi all
I have this friend who is a tryhard, let's call him James. And James is basically playing to win in every videogames and boardgames as we play together in my friend group.
The problem is that he's basically sucking out all the fun out for me. And I am forced to play tryhard aswell so that I can win James. what I usually do is I focus on James because I don't want to see him win again and again.
And James is always complaining to me about my playing style, although that's understandable because I'm focusing on him. And he probably sees me as a threat.
Whenever James is taking a break from a game (that's pretty rare though), I feel all relaxed again because I can just play on easy and fun mode again.
None of my other friends don't seem to mind that much about James's playing style and how he's winning alot.
I would like to get some advice how you guys would handle this type of situation. I know this may seem a bit childish issue. Am I thinking this too seriously or is the problem in me? I just feel kind of angry about James and I really don't want ruin my gaming experience on raging because of this one guy.
Maybe you feel this way because you also like to win. You are bothered by how James wins and therefore like it when he's not around. Do your actions mirror James' actions when he's not in the playgroup?
June 23, 2015 7:35 a.m.
The fact that nobody else seems to be bothered by Spike (James is in fact Spike in Magic terms) but you should tell you that you are at least in a sense like him - you enjoy winning. Is playing to win bad? No, that is the definition of fun for said James.
Does James get angry or rage when he does not win? If he does, avoid playing with him. Taking that rage is not healthy.
If he does not, you have two options:
Compete with him without "gunning specifically for him". He will enjoy healthy competition more than winning vs pushovers.
Ignore his play antics and focus on what you find enjoyable in the game, Johnny (again using magic terms)
June 23, 2015 7:44 a.m.
I think I see where you might be coming from. We have a player in our group who kind of always wins and another player who doesn't see the point in playing if you aren't playing to win.
What I often do is let the "always winner" have one game and I openly state how impressed I am, nodding yet again to his ability to execute magnificent social politics and build devious surprise winner take all strategies.
That was his one game. Now that his winnyness has been validated, it's on. I go after him and make the games after the first one interesting. Then usually the other guy who likes to win takes the game. Sometimes I do, but usually the effort to focus Mr. Winner weakens me.
I only win for myself once in a while. People call me competitive anyway, though. I think it is because I can create a threat for people who usually win (and if I am not dealt with I could win most of the time).
So I guess the point of what I am saying is that you could vary your game up. Maybe you could keep a few decks around and vary your strategy from round to round.
June 23, 2015 7:53 a.m.
Personfigure says... #6
Thanks for the comments.
It is true that I see James as a threat of course. But I don't see myself as a tryhard because whenever someone else in my playgroup wins alot, I don't mind at all, not even if someone else than James has a winning spree.
For example if we have a 8-player rotassaire draft. I just make an anti-James deck and don't care about the other players. And James isn't even the best MtG player in my playgroup.
But I do realize that I'm overly thinking this whole thing and I should just play for fun and ignore the unpleasent factors.
June 23, 2015 8:24 a.m.
Personfigure The best thing you can do is talk to James. It would seem to me that you two are the most competitive players within the playgroup, and everyone else is just playing casually. All you gotta do is say, "Hey. We're a little more competitive than they are, and I would rather be able to sit back and relax some more in group play. Can we try play some more casual decks against our playgroup and save our competitive decks for playing against each other?" Something along those lines. If he's a reasonable guy, he'll understand, and maybe you guys can brew up some lulzy fun casual decks to play.
June 23, 2015 10:33 a.m.
I am that guy. I have a few "unfair" decks that I'll play from time to time, but I do play a lot of linear strategy decks (Knights, 
stompy, no-combo elves, goblins, etc) that can fall apart to some form of disruption. Then I do have a few gimmicky decks that aren't "aggressive".
Maybe James wants to evolve the play group deck building styles beyond who can play the biggest or most creatures. Try asking for advice on a deck or two of yours with this "james". That should be able to you how competitive he is and how he likes to build his style of decks.
Phitt says... #2
Could it be that if James is taking a break from the game you are the one who wins a lot (be honest to yourself)? Maybe you don't even realize it, but to me it sounds like you are both trying to win while your other friends play more casually. And if James is not there you are more relaxed because then you will win most of the time without any problems and your other friends don't care about it.
June 23, 2015 7:33 a.m.