---> Don't forget to check out the update as I've added a win-con <---
Welcome to the deck that doesn't care about winning, and instead only cares about stalling and trolling at a point in the game in which you could just win at any time.
In this deck, there are several obstacles you must overcome.
- Drawing the perfect first hand.
- ... that's about it.
To Combat this, I suggest cheating by palming a hand consisting of two Kiora's Follower, an Illusionist's Bracers, Ring of Three Wishes, and some lands. After your opponent cuts, just grab the deck with your palmed hand and draw those cards.
Of course I'm joking about cheating... but there's just no way you're actually going to get a perfect hand here and not just lose to early game removal.
Once you have the ability to actually get two Kiora's Follower into play along with one of them equipped with an Illusionist's Bracers, you have the ability to create infinite mana, and untap any permanent infinitely.
Skip this paragraph if you already understand how this loop works with Kiora's Follower and Illusionist's Bracers. Kiora's Follower number 1 is equipped with Illusionist's Bracers. Kiora's Follower number 2 just by itself. You also need one land in play at the very least. Tap your land for mana. Use Kiora #1 to untap it. Then use Kiora #2 to untap Kiora #1, you get to copy that ability because of Illusionist's Bracers, so untap the land too. Then tap the land for mana, Tap Kiora #2 to untap Kiora #1. Tap Kiora #1 to untap the land and Kiora #2. Rince and Repeat. You can replace the land that you're untapping with any other permanent to infinitely untap that permanent.
To begin your wild adventure as a hardcore troll, you must use your infinite mana to play Ring of Three Wishes. Now there are definitely much better ways to win with infinite mana, but this is the troll way that people will remember you for. So now you have Ring of Three Wishes in play with infinite mana and the ability to untap Ring of Three Wishes infinitely. The first thing you need to tutor is a
Vorel of the Hull Clade
. Untap Ring of Three Wishes and then (because you still have infinite mana), tutor a
Fleetfeather Sandals
. Now use your infinite mana to play Vorel and equip him with the Sandals so that he has haste. Use Vorel infinitely tapping and untapping him with your infinite mana to put infinite counters on Ring of Three Wishes.
At this point, you can literally just tutor every card in your deck if you wanted, but this is a troll deck. We're not letting our opponent off that easily. Instead we need to first destroy everything they have, but first, we need access to infinite of any color of mana. So tutor a chromatic lantern and play it. Also tutor two Indestructibility and cast them on both of your Kiora's Follower.
Start by now tutoring up the following cards to set in a recursion formula. Not on your turn, do all of this on your opponent's turn during their upkeep.
-
Prophet of Kruphix
-
Hypersonic Dragon
-
Savage Summoning
- Bow of Nylea
- Obzedat's Aid
- Elite Arcanist
-
Hydroform
- Supreme Verdict
- Pack Rat
-
Ogre Battledriver
Now do this during your opponent's turn.
- Use Kiora's combo with Chromatic Lantern to create infinite mana of all five colors.
- Use
Savage Summoning
to play
Prophet of Kruphix
.
- Cast
Hypersonic Dragon
,
Ogre Battledriver
, and Pack Rat.
- Discard Bow of Nylea to Pack Rat.
- Cast Obzedat's Aid on Bow of Nylea to put it into play.
- Cast Elite Arcanist exiling
Hydroform
. (He has haste because of
Ogre Battledriver
.
- Use Kioras to continuously use Elite Arcanist wish haste to
Hydroform
all of your oppponent's lands into creatures.
- Cast Supreme Verdict. Everything dies including all of your opponent's lands except both Kiora's Follower because they are enchanted with Indestructibility.
- Use Kioras to untap and utilize Bow of Nylea fourth modal ability and return all cards from your graveyard to your library instantly, so that you can tutor them again later.
This combo is all done instantly and removes all of your opponent's creatures and lands, but at the cost of exiling your one and only
Hydroform
, so keep that in mind. You will only be able to do this combo once for every
Hydroform
you run. Of course, there is a backup plan if they try to play additional lands, at least if they're nonbasic lands (with Encroaching Wastes). The turn after you screw their day over by destroying all of their lands and creatures, you need to go through phase two of trolling. During your next turn, tutor the following.
-
Arbiter of the Ideal
-
Witches' Eye
-
Prophet of Kruphix
-
Savage Summoning
-
Ogre Battledriver
- Skarrg Guildmage
- Fated Infatuation
- Vitu-Ghazi Guildmage
Now go infinite mana again and do this during your turn.
- Cast
Savage Summoning
on
Prophet of Kruphix
.
- Cast
Ogre Battledriver
and then Skarrg Guildmage to give it haste.
- Cast
Witches' Eye
.
- Equip
Witches' Eye
to Skarrg Guildmage.
- Cast Springleaf Drum.
- Cast Vitu-Ghazi Guildmage.
You are now in a position to scry 1 as many times as you want. It is very important that Encroaching Wastes isn't in your hand right now. If it is, tutor Pack Rat, discard it, and then use Bow of Nylea to put it back into the deck.
When your opponent attempts to play a land, here's what you do.
- Go infinite mana. Cast
Arbiter of the Ideal
- Scry 1 with
Witches' Eye
as many times as you want with Kioras and put all cards on the bottom until Encroaching Wastes is on top.
- Now use Springleaf Drum to tap
Arbiter of the Ideal
, and kiora to untap it. Trigger, encroaching wastes comes into play at instant speed during your opponent's turn.
- Use Skarrg Guildmage to turn Encroaching Wastes into a creature.
- Cast Fated Infatuation copying Encroaching Wastes. The copy enters play as a token copy of Encroaching Wastes. It's only a land, and not a creature.
- Use Skarrg Guildmage to turn the new token version of Encroaching Wastes into a creature.
- Use Vitu-Ghazi Guildmage to populate the Encroaching Wastes token infinitely. You now have infinite Encroaching Wastes tokens.
- Destroy all of their nonbasic lands all of the time forever.
At this point, if your opponent is still playing, congratz to them for being a real go-getter. Never giving up. Well life is going to be tough for them from this point forward. At any time, you can use Bow of Nylea to gain infinite life, or make a creature infinitely powerful to block any of the threats they manage get out. Bow of Nylea also deal infinite damage to creatures with flying.
After going through all of these combos, I'm sure you realize that anything can basically be done at instant speed. You can even put Gift of Immortality on any of your creatures at any time using
Hypersonic Dragon
and Obzedat's Aid. It's basically the same way you get Bow of Nylea out at instant speed. When an enchantment aura enters the battlefield, it enters attached to anything it's controller wants it to be attached to (pro tip: even hexproof creatures your opponent controls... aka
Stab Wound
on
Geist of Saint Traft
). Using this technique, you can protect any of your creatures that might die and there are many, MANY other combos in this deck that can just go absolutely insane. There are too many combos to put into this description.
Remember that anyone could just toss in a
Mind Grind
or a similar card and win instantly, but this is just a little taste of a troll deck that goes deeper than that. There's a level of interestingness that keeps people appealed to this. Perhaps it enthuses you to build this ridiculously inexpensive deck in order to troll your friends in casual games.
Darksteel Forge is in the sideboard just in case your opponent has some massive amount of artifact destruction. Just be a troll and deprive them of that too. Can be replaced with Gift of Immortality or one of the four Ring of Three Wishes. You can also replace Boros Charm if you want. It's not needed. It's here if you want to keep all of your creatures after you Supreme Verdict in the first combo I showed you.
Have a trolltastic day, and thank you for the upvote! :)
PS: Thank you almerican for thinking of
Fellhide Spiritbinder
. Thank you flyguy for introducing me to his deck. I've added him to the maybeboard.
Thank you chrizzilla for the win-condition suggestion. Love it!
Thank you chuchuoftime for the suggestion of
Charging Badger
. We will side him in against people who voted for Obama.
