Let me guess planeswalker, you like squirrels. You look up all of the squirrel decks on tapped out, you even own a squirrel deck sleeved in squirrel confidant sleeves, and you only play the deck on your SCG exclusive four-squirrels play mat. You regularly mob your friends with your squirrel army and chitter insidiously as they meet their demise at the hands of natures most cuddly and vicious fuzzball. And yet, this devotion to squirrels has left you feeling empty of late. The monotony of summoning a massive squirrel army game after game has begun to wear on you. You seek something more, so you summon more squirrels, but it only deepens that craving for more.
What you truly seek planeswalker, whether you know it or not, is the ability to beat your opponent with a single squirrel. Yet such devotion comes at a price. To destroy your opponent in such a manner, you must not only play the squirrel, but you must see your opponent's despair from the squirrel's eyes, hear your opponent concede from the squirrel's ears, and laugh your manic, squirrelly victory laugh after every win. In short, you must become the squirrel. BEHOLD:
Form of the Squirrel
+
Mother of Runes
+
Pendelhaven
or
Swarmyard
+ laugh uncontrollably.
OR.
Darksteel Plate
+
Form of the Squirrel
+
Lightning Greaves
+ laugh uncontrollably.
OR.
Counterbalance
+
Form of the Squirrel
+
Sensei's Divining Top
+ laugh uncontrollably.
Emrakul, the Aeons Torn is here so you don't mill yourself to death, and to make sure nobody screws with his pet squirrel: Mr. Chitters. It's his only real friend.
Sometimes Emrakul, the Aeons Torn is late getting home, which is why Karn Liberated is here to watch Mr. Chitters in just such an event.
The main strategy is to just sit around for a little bit confusing the hell out of your opponent as to what in the world you are playing (they tend to think either maverick, miracles, or some messed up version of stone blade) then you turn into a squirrel who has already made himself a lovely pillow fort and chitter hysterically as your opponent realizes they just got beaten by a planeswalker whose primary win condition is to turn himself into an indestructible squirrel with shroud, allowing you to outlast your opponent, making him deck himself slowly and painfully. However, aside from the mill strategy, there is the after board strategy of playing Aether Vial one turn before
Form of the Squirrel
and then using Aether Vial 15 turns later to play Emrakul, the Aeons Torn and letting him wreck your opponent for their ever trying to hurt Mr. Chitters. Ain't nobody fucks with Mr. Chitters and lives to tell the tale.
Might I recommend the squirrel confidant card sleeves and playmat?
Who am I kidding, I know you already own them.
