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Perv”R”Us, the Fat Sling (EDH)

Commander / EDH Dragons Mono-Red



Perv”R”Us, the Fat Sling

Slinging Fat since 1999

Flavor (it’s fat flavored)

  1. Purphoros, Bronze-Blooded / Sneak Attack
  2. FAT
  3. ????
  4. Profit

Step 3 is slinging. All you’ve got to do is sling that fat right on the table. Then copy that fat, throw that fat, make the fat stick around a little longer or, alternatively, just chuck that fat in the bin, it was cheap anyway! There’s more fat where that came from. Dragon fat, goblin fat, giant fat and actual pig fat, heck, we even got arti fat!

Get your slinger, get your fat, and get slinging.

So many ETB effects, so many tokens, so many ways to keep or return your slinged-in creatures - this deck is F A T

Ok some real stuff now:


The gameplan is different every time, we’re not working towards any particular combo. In general though you want to go through these phases:

Turns 1-3: Build-up

Hopefully one of the first three turns you’re either able to deploy a piece of ramp, or a ritual, so you can cast your commander ahead of time. With 13 pieces in the deck (ritual or permanent ramp, Sneak Attack counts as well) this should be possible around 64% of the time in the first hand, around 87% if you take the free mulligan into account. If you don’t ramp (and you need a good reason to keep a hand without ramp), you should at least be able to start setting up some synergy pieces like Flameshadow Conjuring, Sundial of the Infinite or Panharmonicon.

Turn 4/5: Pervy-time!

Strange things are happening if you’re not casting Purphoros, Bronze-Blooded after getting to 5 mana. Usually enabling commanders are tricky because they have a target on their backs when they come down. Purphoros does too, but he’s just so hard to remove. Most of the time he’s not even a creature!

Also, don’t forget: Purphoros gives all your creatures haste. Not just sneaked ones. This is relevant for Feldon, Welder, Hidetsugu and any bigger creature later in the game when you can hardcast them.

Turn 6+: The world is your oyster

From here everything goes to shit. Sling your fat, let it land wherever. When your hand is empty, grease your wheels with fat like Sandstone Oracle and Dragon Mage. Recycle your fatties from the bin with Feldon of the Third Path or Goblin Welder. We combine big loads of surprise damage with continuous value and cheating on mana. What’s not to like.


Be aware that you’ll likely have a big target on your head as soon as Purphoros hits. Think twice before you start smashing with dragons just to use up your mana.

To prevent people from gunning for you too early it’s often best to keep your mana open. You can bluff anything as blocker and discourage people from attacking that way. Then use your purphoros ability in the EOT of the player before you to have the creatures available on your own turn, with mana untapped for an insane alpha strike or for the next round of bluffs and threats.

Synergies and combos

So there’s a lot of things going on, but i wanted to elaborate on a couple special combinations

Worldgorger Dragon + Bearer of the Heavens

I call it the nuke, it’s a chemical process between dragon and giant fat.

  1. Turn before the nuke: sling in bearer before EOT
  2. That EOT bearer dies, delayed Nuke triggers
  3. Next turn EOT delayed Nuke goes on the stack
  4. Sling in the dragon in response, exiling your stuff
  5. Nuke kills the board, and you’re the only one with permanents

Danger! Don’t do this when you think people can interact with your dragon. If it leaves the battlefield before its ETB trigger resolves you’re left with nothing.

Heartless Hidetsugu + Angrath's Marauders

Kills all opponents on an even life total

Sundial of the Infinite

Gotta stay fat! This card is insane in the deck. You’ll mostly use it EOT to prevent losing any of your beautiful fatties, but it works to counter anything nasty they try to do on your turn as well.

It prevents sacrifice triggers from any creatures you sneak in or any tokens you make with Flameshadow Conjuring, Mimic Vat, Minion Reflector, Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker, Mirror March and Feldon of the Third Path.

Conjurer's Closet + stuff

  • ETB effects: Double em!
  • Sneaked in creatures: Keep em!
  • Got something nice with Molten Primordial: Keep it!

Neheb, the Eternal + wheels

Neheb has proved to be a great ramper. Get in a hit with him and another biggie, then sling in Sandstone Oracle, Knollspine Dragon or Magus of the Wheel to replenish and keep going. Neheb-as-a-ritual trick: not sure if this will ever be useful, but you can smash with some fatties, then in the damage phase, flash in Neheb with Purphoros and move to your post-combat main for a surprise load of mana.

Sarkhan's Triumph for a silver slingshot bullet

It gets you out of almost anything

Get your Panharmonic on!

Panharmonicon is of course something that lets you double your ETB triggers, but shines especially with Flameshadow Conjuring.

Imagine for a second Meteor Golem:

Alternate wincon

Hellkite Tyrant has flavortext that happens to say “you win the game” somewhere. It’s not very realistic, but a fun achievement. The most likely route is probably with Myr Battlesphere and either resurrecting it or copying it.

Deck development

Pending upgrades (when i get the required cards)

Possible other additions

When i figure out where to make room

Possible other cuts:

  • Homura, Human Ascendant  : too cute (and a lot are already big fliers)
  • Dragon Tyrant: heavy hitter, maybe not special enough
  • Depending how games play out: maybe some wonky synergy cards like Mirror March, though it’s fun
  • Mana Geyser: unsure how good this is for me. Late game‘s maybe not the moment i need this, but any time before then it might not do enough. Ironfeat crag might be better, or else some interaction / more fatties!

Blightsteel Colossus: my playgroup would be instantly salty and i’d never get to play the deck. Obviously great, also obviously boring.

Like all that Fat? Hit us up with a +1!


Updates Add


68% Casual

32% Competitive

Top Ranked
Date added 5 months
Last updated 6 hours

This deck is Commander / EDH legal.

Rarity (main - side)

12 - 0 Mythic Rares

42 - 0 Rares

19 - 0 Uncommons

8 - 0 Commons

Cards 100
Avg. CMC 4.79
Tokens 0/1 Goat, None Copy Clone, 3/3 Wurm, 1/1 Construct, 1/1 Myr, 6/6 Dragon
Folders Uncategorized, Purphorod snak attac, bookmarked, Maybe buy, LowCost, Commander, snazy (EDH)
Ignored suggestions
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Revision 21 See all

2 months ago)

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