"Queen Marchesa Hates You"
#<center>[[symbol:W]][[symbol:B]][[symbol:R]] QUEEN MARCHESA HATES YOU [[symbol:W]][[symbol:B]][[symbol:R]]</center>
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===panel:<center>**Introduction**</center>
This is a hatebears list for a semi-competitive table. Not much more to say.
We use [[Queen Marchesa]] for the card advantage and token generation. She also works quite well as a body. We also run [[Tymna, the Weaver]] to great effect.
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===panel:<center>**I'm a nice person. How do I learn to hate others?**</center>
You have options against every competitive deck here from taxes to outright hate for certain strategies.
- Against storm, fast combo, or spellslinger? [[Thalia, Guardian of Thraben]], [[Kambal, Consul of Allocation]], [[Vryn Wingmare]], [[Ashes of the Abhorrent]], [[Blind Obedience]], [[Aura of Silence]]
- Against Reanimator or big cheats? [[Containment Priest]], [[Ashes of the Abhorrent]]
- Against decks like Yisan, Sisay, Arcum, Selvala? [[Linvala, Keeper of Silence]], [[Stranglehold]], [[Prison Term]]
- Against superfriends? [[Solemnity]] - nonbos with some of our stuff though...
- Against boring Food Chain decks? [[Sanctum Prelate]] and taxes
- Against beatdown? [[Darien, King of Kjeldor]] + [[Soul Warden]] OR [[Soul's Attendant]], and that isn't mentioning [[Thalia, Heretic Cathar]], [[Ghostly Prison]], and [[Blind Obedience]] which all slow the game to a crawl.
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===panel:<center>**Now that everyone knows I hate them, how do I win?**</center>
The win conditions in this deck could be streamlined, but I don't want to run yet-another-[[Kiki-Jiki]] combo. I have my [[Riku of Two Reflections]] deck for that.
We rely on more traditional methods. AKA a secret commander in [[Teysa, Orzhov Scion]].
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**Plan A: Combo kill**
1. [[Teysa, Orzhov Scion]]
2. [[Darkest Hour]]
Then your choice of:
1. [[Zulaport Cutthroat]] for infinite life loss and gain.
2. [[Anointed Procession]] for infinite 1/1 flyers.
3. [[Vizkopa Guildmage]] + [[Ashes of the Abhorrent]] for infinite life loss and gain.
4. [[Cathars' Crusade]] or [[Ashes of the Abhorrent]] + [[Archangel of Thune]] for an infinitely large army.
**Plan B: Hatebear Beatdown**
1. We run a package of value-granting equipments [[Sword of Feast and Famine]] + [[Sword of Light and Shadow]].
2. Voltroning Marchesa is actually viable if the table has been slowed enough, although Linvala's evasion and Thalia, Heretic Cathar's First Strike (and so on) are quite useful.
3. Drop a [[Boros Charm]] for maximum Voltroning
**Plan C: Token Spam (Against Beatdown)**
1. [[Darien]] is a desperate dude.
2. Drop those Soul Sisters.
3. Watch as your opponents can no longer deal combat damage to you. Drop two and start pinging yourself to create tokens.
4. [[Cathars' Crusade]] to victory.
**Plan D: Style Points (Specific kills)**
- If your opponents are running Kiki-Combo or any other mass creature spam, dropping [[Rakdos Charm]] will end them.
- If your opponents are lame and playing [[Thrasios]] with [[Protean Hulk]], exile their graveyard with [[Rakdos Charm]].
- Go for a Boring kill with [[Insurrection]]
**Plan E: MEGA-STYLE Points**
1. Get [[Westvale Abbey]] out.
2. Sacrifice some pathetic humans and blow that thing up. Our boy [[Ormendahl, Profane Prince]] comes out of his shell.
3. Slap some equipment on him. Bonus points for dual-wielding [[Sword of Light and Shadow]] and [[Sword of Feast and Famine]]
4. Bring your dead humans back but you're also likely killing someone in one hit by the time you can do this.
**1,000,000,000,000,000 on the Scoville Scale**
1. Swap something lame for [[Mycosynth Lattice]].
2. Swap something lame for [[Bludgeon Brawl]].
3. Equip [[Ormendahl, Profane Prince]] with your enchantments and humans.
4. Attack. Nothing better than an enchanted (sparkling) demon beating people to death with an old woman [[Academy Rector]], and reminding you that you are a slave to Queen Marchesa's state with [[Land Tax]].
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===panel:<center>**Omissions**</center>
I didn't include the black tutor suite because there is a good amount of redundancy but also because this is my most casual-friendly list and I want to be able to pilot it in metas that are more complimentary to that.
Probably some other stuff I missed.
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