Are you ready for cold showers, dropping the soap, terrible food, and the threat of prison rape? If yes, I have a deck that will suit your needs.

Straight forward concept, this is a Pillow Fort deck. Prevent your opponent from attacking you directly and stall the game towards victory. The decks achilles heel is any/all types of counter-magic, hand disruption, Surgical Extraction and All Is Dust (Tron). Most matchups I have played so far result in either a game one draw or even a win in some cases. However should you make it to games two or three be prepared to lose too counter magic everywhere in the current meta (Oct 2019). Remember the goal isn't too win but instead make playing magic unbearable for the opponents by mastering the art of trolling. One major downfall is the decks Mana base lacks any effective way to help filter card draws due to not having any fetch lands. Finally, this a slow moving deck meaning it requires at a minimum 4 turns with all the right pieces in your opening hand to effectively wall your opponent, assuming you're not playing against control or Tron players (i.e. unfair magic).

Mainboard Considerations

Focuses on controlling the board against creature rich decks by using Ghostly Prison and Sphere of Safety, or Solemnity and Phyrexian Unlife as alternatives in combination with the various removal and other stall spells.

Win Cons / Army

Once we have established our fort and stalled the game our goal is to progressively increase our boards threat level with a significant number of clerics or angels on the battlefield. This is a swarm and conquer strategy and by virtue inherits all of the limitations associated with it (i.e. mass removal and flicker effects). Nonetheless, we are in it for the longhall and while mass removal sucks, so long as we have a fort it only delays the inevitable for our opponent. The longer our game lasts the more likely we will win (bar any type of control matchups).

Heliod, God of the Sun - this God is more than capable of becoming a very serious threat by turn 4 but that's not what this grounded creature is there for. Instead we will utilize his ability to ramp with Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx and flood the board with 2/1 cleric enchantment creature's.

Luminarch Ascension - use this card very liberally as it's more than capable of generating threats as early as T4. Much of moderns creature base is grounded and aside from targeted/mass removal some decks will have a very difficult time dealing with a late game swarm of psudeo-evasive creature's.

Myth Realized - value engine that offers an ever increasing threat to your opponent. However, timing is crucial and its activated ability is best used when Greater Auramancy is already on the battlefield.

Sigil of the Empty Throne - realistically this card may get axed simply because of its extremely high CMC and limited immediate effects (lack of card value). Lets assume for a minute we can ramp with Nykthos or have the ability to time walk our opponent with Ghostly Prison or Sphere of Safety; this card has potential to escalate very quickly. The rationale was to at least have more than one win condition in the event our other options get removed by Thoughtseize, Surgical Extraction, etc.

Filter / Fort

The cards below represent what I would consider staple for any mono-white pillow fort deck. These enable us to stall for as long it's required to build an army and swarm the opponent. It's not unreasonable to believe this deck can hold it's on when the meta is dominated by aggro or mid range creature rich decks. The meat and potatoes is based on making combat so ungodly expensive with each passing turn our noose gets tighter.

Hall of Heliod's Generosity - helps us work around counter magic and targeted removal spells.

Leyline of Sanctity - shuts down most burn, hand disruption and storm decks pretty effectively. Some have asked, "Why are you running 4 of these?", Well statistics tells me I should run that many and Nykthos mandates I comply with this request as well.

Greater Auramancy - never leave home without this card as it acts as one of the most effective deterrents to targeted removal for our entire deck. Let's not forget the effect when two are in play simultaneously.

Runed Halo - multi purpose threat stopper and combo breaker, use carefully and don't be carelesss, instead be strategic target only cards that pose a serious threat to you. Again, be mindful of potential flicker, bounce or removal spells as things can go south pretty quickly. It's best to have Greater Auramancy already out on the battlefield.

Ghostly Prison - get used to checking your opponent before they enter combat lol. We force our opponent into making the difficult decision of hitting for combat damage or casting another spell. This can act as a time walk in some instances, but losses it's effectiveness the longer the game lasts, unless we stack them as quickly as possible.

Sphere of Safety - the noose from which we hang our opponents with lol. At the earliest we can cast this by T4, but that's not always a viable option. Simply put, this card synergies with every other card in the deck and sole purpose is to make any form of combat next to impossible for the opponent. If you are lucky enough to resolve a second copy, forget about it. Your opponent better have another method to kill you, else it will end with G1 going to turns.

Enchanted Evening - When paired with the above card is gigantic fuck you towards your opponent since all of your lands now add to the punishment. Assuming we can make long enough to cast both cards it's almost an auto win unless you mill yourself out. But this only G1 and who doesn't like ending in a draw against other net decks?

Sideboard Limited Circumstances

Stony Silence - Tron is our worst enemy and anything we can do to slow this deck down is a must. Also should Urza become a serious threat, Stony is more than enough to stall the game.

Nevermore - Strips combo decks of there win condition, also useful against Ad Nauseum, Control, Gristelbrand, Urza etc.

Rest in Peace - Perfect for stopping Snapcaster Mage (Control), Dredge, and other Graveyard shenanigans, or at least reduces there effectiveness.

Worship - Extra redundancy against burn or combat damage when paired with Heliod, God of the Sun

Card Synergies

Sphere of Safety + Enchanted Evening - Excellent for completely locking down the board late game. This is great for leveraging your dead land drops further punishing your opponent and preventing combat.

Greater Auramancy + Greater Auramancy - Helps establish a hard lock against any targeted removal spells.

Enchanted Evening + Greater Auramancy - Shroud your entire battlefield to include all lands as well.

Heliod, God of the Sun + Porphyry Nodes - Continuous creature removal outlet that will never go away

Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx + All other non-creature spells, this land enables you the ability to ramp for serious amounts of mana.

Phyrexian Unlife + Solemnity Hard lock your opponent out of winning the game though combat damage.

Fairness Finally, nothing is more rewarding than informing your opponent they will need to pay 24 just to swing with a single creature :-). So get ready to put your troll face on and don't take shit from anyone at your lgs.


Updates Add


Top Ranked
  • Achieved #2 position overall 1 year ago
  • Achieved #1 position in Modern 1 year ago
Date added 1 year
Last updated 1 month

This deck is Modern legal.

Rarity (main - side)

4 - 0 Mythic Rares

41 - 15 Rares

8 - 0 Uncommons

Cards 60
Avg. CMC 2.44
Tokens 4/4 Angel
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