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Legality
| Format | Legality |
| Archenemy | Legal |
| Casual | Legal |
| Commander: Rule 0 | Legal |
| Custom | Legal |
| Limited | Legal |
| Planechase | Legal |
| Quest Magic | Legal |
| Unformat | Legal |
| Vanguard | Legal |
City of Ass
Land
City of Ass enters the battlefield tapped.
[T]: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.
Last_Laugh on
Fart Joke Tribal
3 years ago
Ruthless Ripper lol. Boom / Bust and Ruination if you're ok with mass land destruction. Blood Moon also makes me giggle when I associate it as a fart joke (gone really wrong).
Also, you should sneak in City of Ass ... no one will object.
awesomeatm on
Kaalia's Wrath
3 years ago
Rri's Greasy Suggestions
My understanding of the deck is that it's essentially a Sneak Attack style deck - put creatures in and muck face. The main goal with these suggestions is to get Kaalia of the Vast out by turn 2 or 3 and put more relevant threats down! Apologies if this isn't the most organized, but hope it helps.
Creatures:
Akroma, Angel of Fury - literally a 6/6 with firebreathing 90% of the time
Emeria Shepherd - even you complain about this one.
Kaalia, Zenith Seeker - Yes flavour, but fricken goofy card
Kambal, Consul of Allocation - What does gaining life do for you? I would only run him if you ran necropotence or equivalent
Mana-Charged Dragon - Nobody is paying into that lmao
Rakdos the Defiler - I get that you have big balls, but he's pretty much single use - I enjoy the meme though.
Iroas, God of Victory - I understand that he lets Kaalia get through, but that wouldn't be a problem if you could just get her out earlier.
Angel of Deliverance - If you're getting delirium with this deck at it's present state I'm super impressed.
Sorin, Grim Nemesis - There is better ways to draw cards and you can't cheat him into play
Lands:
Karoo Lands: They are decent, but you're missing out on precious early mana when you run them.
Nephalia Academy - This is the most Cam card I have ever seen, run Rogue's Passage if you want colourless utility.
Vivid Meadow: Again slow, run a City of Ass in this slot
Artifacts:
Armillary Sphere - If you are hell bent on this effect, run a Thaumatic Compass
 Flip
Darksteel Ingot - 2 mana artifacts are way better for a turn 3 Kaalia.
Sunforger - Personally this doesn't do it for me, super mana intensive for the effect, especially when you have black for tutoring/card draw.
Instant and Sorceries
Mortify - Hello Anguished Unmaking, Vindicate or Generous Gift would like a word.
Tragic Slip - Despark seems a lot better!!
Enchantments
Ghostly Prison - You have fatties to smack people in face, if they swing at you, swing at them harder - or block :^)
Aura of Silence - You aren't on the stax path my son and you can find more efficient instant speed removal!
Akroma's Vengeance - Austere Command
Diabolic Tutor - Demonic Tutor
Orim's Thunder & Return to Dust - I would suggest just running a less expensive removal, or more flexible removal eg. Disenchant or Chaos Warp
Strategy:
I would suggest cards that more aggressively use your life total, you're playing an agro strategy and want to be firing on all cylinders!!
Card Draw and Tutoring
Necropotence - Draw a shit ton of cards, and more selection of what you want to put down with Kaalia.
Painful Truths, Sign in Blood, Night's Whisper - Efficient card draw!
Faithless Looting, Tormenting Voice, Thrill of Possibility - Slot in these if you are planning on going a stronger recursion route.
Wishclaw Talisman - Fun tutor!
Enlightened Tutor - Finds you boots, sword, or whatever else you may need.
Demonic Tutor, Vampiric Tutor - Need I say more?
Gamble - Put all your money on red lmao
Mausoleum Secrets & Diabolic Intent – Conditional Tutors which seem decent in this deck.
Creatures
Vilis, Broker of Blood - This card is insane, especially when you get to cheat him out.
Razaketh, the Foulblooded - Turns Kaalia into a huge toolbox, also really strong in the recursion route.
Archfiend of Despair - Doubles damage!!
Rakdos, Lord of Riots - Reduces the cost of your big creatures, letting you actually play them after you swing.
Sire Of Insanity - Discarding everyone's hand is pretty good for you, as this deck should be pretty good at top decking.
Scourge of the Throne & Hellkite Charger - More combat - wins with Sword of Feast and Famine!!
Resolute Archangel - A lot of the cards I'm suggesting are pretty hard your life total, resetting to 40 with a Necropotence out is pretty gross.
Kaalia Tings
Sneak Attack - Does pretty much the same thing as Kaalia.
Karmic Guide, Reya Dawnbringer, Primevals' Glorious Rebirth, Animate Dead, Living Death, Phyrexian Reclamation - Recursion is super strong, plus you run a shit ton of legendaries for rebirth. As an aside, Leonin Relic-Warder gives infinite ETB with Animate Dead - something to keep in mind.
Legion's Initiative - Pretty flexible protection, also making Kaalia a 3/3 is pretty relevant.
Aggravated Assault - Even more combat, wins you the game with Sword of Feast and Famine.
Kaya's Ghostform - Leave it and forget it protection for Kaalia.
Mana
Talisman of Hierarchy, Talisman of Indulgence, Talisman of Conviction, Fellwar Stone - even potentially Mind Stone - 2 mana rocks are super good as they enable the turn 3 Kaalia.
Wayfarer's Bauble - An all star, also Kaalia turn 3.
Lotus Petal - SPEEDY
Nyx Lotus or Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx - A lot of your creatures have super high devotion, take advantage of that.
Caves of Koilos, Battlefield Forge, Sulfurous Springs, Sacred Foundry, Godless Shrine, Blood Crypt, Luxury Suite, Exotic Orchard, City of Brass, Rugged Prairie, Fetid Heath, Silent Clearing, Sunbaked Canyon, Tainted Field - or even more basics: Untapped coloured lands!!
BlackSirius on DONKEY!
4 years ago
So I just found out about these bad asses: Smart Ass , Bad Ass , Dumb Ass , Cheap Ass , and Fat Ass . The cherry on top is City of Ass . I'm thinking I might need to make a deck around these guys
koylucumert on
Fuck Me Daddy
4 years ago
omg i just realised the roofs of the City of Ass are shaped like buttocks you HAVE to play it
koylucumert on
Fuck Me Daddy
4 years ago
again also why didnt you play asses? Bad Ass Smart Ass City of Ass etc.
TiagoR2 on
Boys Boys Boys
5 years ago
City of Ass is funny but it's also the only thing keeping this deck illegal haha Anyway, maybe Weatherseed Totem? I can't help but see it.