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Sitromis

1 April 2010

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“'Snakes! Why did it have to be Snakes?!'” – Henry Walton

Inspired by an old failure of mine, Socks with Fangs! - just some diatribe and discussion on the somewhat lackluster, cold blooded legless, venomous, fanged and winged (in some cases) creatures in the current Standard format. Snakes! Certainly by now you’ve glimpsed them; but as this form of entertainment lends itself to the more visual side of the mind, allow me this moment to refresh your cortex -

The Lotus Cobra

Obviously, they’re not in order of popularity. Outside of being familiar with this slithery line-up, I’m sure you’ve seen the most notable of the five snakes establish itself in standard play. As if it needed anymore of a spot light then it’s basked in to warm its cold blood already, Lotus Cobra is the Snakus’maximus here. It’s been seen powering “Agro Jund” in competitive Standard; providing venom in the form of mana to the “Stompy” build; it’s been witnessed as “Cobra Knight” in a raucous effort to bolster the Knight of the Reliquary and her steady assaults; and generally just breaks the tempo barrier by enabling (5) five mana on turn (3) three. I’ll omit the various five-drop options that come to mind, as they are plentiful and generally start with the word “Baneslayer” !!! It is an obvious choice for tempo, albeit an equivalent attention getter. The Lotus Cobra is a fragile breed (like 4/5ths of the legless reptiles here) weighing in at only a single defense point, it rarely remains in play for long. Yet what it lacks in longevity, it makes up for with its provisioning to established board advantage. Not nearly as sought after now as it was initially, I still feel its Mythic status was warranted. ##-- Largest Threats – any defender; red mana; black mana, white mana. Best Play – enables a third turn five-drop threat with the appropriate spells/land/hand. Frequency and Value – Mythic. At post, $12.98 per card and probably worth it, all things considered. It’s also worth mentioning that this is a significant price reduction compared to its initial release. At that time, the card was introduced at most locations at a low of $25 each, and a high around $35. Given where Standard is currently, it definitely could not maintain that level of value.

The Lorescale Coatl

Even still, the Lorescale Coatl can pack quite a punch. This serpentine specimen remains largely off the radar however; even when it’s in play. Given the popularity of Lightening Bolt and Volcanic Fallout, a card Blue has little to no solutions for, I am somewhat surprised. By turn three, running Blue/Green, it’s conceivable that you cast this creature and draw a card. Effectively making it a 3/3 on your third turn. One more turn and it’s entirely out of range from both of the afore mentioned red spells. Unfortunately, black magic exists largely in this format. Given the nature of the spell known as Great Sable Stag, I’m largely surprised that this miserable Coatl isn’t boasting Shroud at the very least. Generally, when you combine two colors the affects are considerably better. Shourd and card draw are common between these colors too!? Still, while the spot-removal of black and white mana pose a threat, the direct damage of red is diminished over time; a little counter magics and a solid turn or two may be all you need here. Largest Threat – black/white mana, red mana and in that order. Best Play – nothing comes to mind. Frequency and Value – Uncommon. At post, $1.48 a piece. The only reason this uncommon is not represented by change instead of dollars is that someone else has realized its limited potential for a “beater” and thus it maintains a fair uncommon value.

The Mold Adder

The Mold Adder however, is an entirely different story. A one drop that increases its power and toughness based solely on the casting of opponents blue and/or black spells. Possibly more attractive in casual/multi-play environments, this creature looks far worse than the reality of its presence. Another failed opportunity to apply a protective mechanic. Even if it did have protection from listed on the card, it wouldn’t prove all that threatening to either black or blue. Well, maybe to blue if it was allowed to resolve. Regardless, here was a perfect opportunity for a card to embodied its frequency, yet failed. Of all the snakes in Standard, this one is the Charlie Brownest! Largest Threat – anything/color that cost 1 mana or above. Best Play – a black player without creature removal; a blue player without “return to hand” or counter magics. I’m sure they exists in some reality. Frequency and Value – Uncommon. At post, $0.19 and worth half of that. This spell doesn’t even do its frequency justice; and don’t summon that “ not all spells can be ” speech to mind. It’s more than this man’s opinion that when you assign frequency in a collectable card game, you assign value. That mark was missed here.

The River Boa

That brings us down stream to the River Boa. What order am I even covering this in? Heedlesssly, the River Boa is a staple product that magic will never be without. If you don’t believe, look at the six sets this creature has appeared. Allow me a +/-1 margin of error. Having said that, Islandwalk is unique and well placed; it’s a River Boa folks! Couple that with Regeneration and the nemesis colors are well covered. Conceptually, good job. I’ve even seen this card in a few competitive sideboards, surprisingly enough. Though generally speaking, it’s another snake in the grass. Not terribly desired by the competitive community, and frequently overlooked by the casuals as well. Personally, this would make my third favorite, as far as standard slippery snakes go. Largest Threat – white mana, counter magics, or not having regenerative mana at your disposal. Best Play – Spreading Seas, Giant Growth, swing for 5?! Frequency and Value – Uncommon. At post, $0.28 and this one I’d say is worth it. Welcome back Boa.

The Winged Coatl

Coatl’s with wings, or Winged Coatl? A Blue/Green creature with flash, deathtouch and flying as well. As a creature, it’s awful. In fact, it’s worse than that. But you must look past the fact that it is a creature at all. This is among the most unique multicolored spells in standard for one reason it is essentially creature removal for blue and green! Admittedly, it suffers a mild handicap that requires an attack and succesfful defend on you and your opponent’s part, yet it's advantagous since they can’t see it coming! For example, let’s say defense are down and your tapped out(.net) as something hideous with wings bats your direction... just then... Big’a’ta’ow’dow! Bam! Winged Coatl from the sky and that threat is likely no more! Imagine for a moment this was a blue/green spell that read “Cast only when you’re being attacked. Destroy target creature. That creature is considered blocked.” Yes, I may be oversimplifying that a bit, certainly damage must still be dealt and this creature must remain in play to do so - but - my point is that it is much more appealing when you neglect the creature aspect entirely. In fact, this fanged sock with wings can be an excellent answer for the two colors that suffer the most for lacking creature removal. Granted if you’re rolling Bant or splashing nearly any third color, there are admittedly plenty of better options. Yet this crafty coatl seems commendable of further consideration in the event you’re running with the blue/green couple. There exists nothing quite like it in standard print. Largest Threat – counter magics or white mana. Best Play – as creature removal for blue/green decks only. Frequency and Value – Common. At post, $0.15 and worth every penny. The Nacatl may have been onto something here.

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Truth be told, I “penned” these pages about two months ago when I was looking for an alternative to competitive play. Actually, allow me to rephrase that not an alternative per say, but an alternative to what’s common amongst the format. As mentioned above, I was trying Socks with Fangs! on for size at the time, and more recently the Nulltread Quagmire has reared its sloughed skull from amongst murky depths. All in hopes to quash the quandary that I’m sure you too are having with the current competitive standard environment laid in front of us! Ya see, if there’s one thing I enjoy about this game, it’s watching the entire scene (e.g. online communities, meta-games, local establishments, etc.) establish the face of standard on each and every release; and then trying to build something that no one else has seen or is even playing that might have a chance that might come silently out of the night; swamp; or even the air in some cases here, and decimate the competition. Unfortunately for you, what you’ve just vested your time in is really more of a “what might have been” success story; also known as a failure. Failed attempt at doing just that. My desire to build a Blue/Green competitive deck for the standard environment has not been a success. It’s just something we don’t have, that we haven’t had since Equilibrium and Mystic Snake were both in that format. Apocalypse was the era I believe. I won my first tournament in that era with a similar concept maybe I’m just getting nostalgic here; trying to recapture old times for the sake of old time?! I do miss dual colored competition; I have growing tired of the multicolored range Alara provides, primarily because I end up building more decks than I have cards for! Perhaps I’m just ready for the Rise of the Eldrazi... and the return of Merit Lage!? Keep an eye turned towards here always for more information on spoilers and early releases. But alas, I digress... Why these two colors can’t get along in a competitive fashion is haunting me. Why I keep trying, more so still. It pains me to say so, but the Nulltread Quagmire has received its third color and my own statements above mock their own morality for all to see and still, the attempt at a “solution” eludes me. Thus, I’ve returned to this passage regardless. Regardless of the fact that the top five decks gnaw at my very essence; regardless of the fact I will fail repeatedly at a solution for the “top 5” many more times to come; and regardless of the fact that these winged reptiles have been such a failure for the two colors I truly love... Oh yeah! I almost forgot one- regardless of the fact that this passage has probably been of no use, to no one, in no way at all.

Who knows, maybe we’ll see more snakes of substance in the future, and I’m not just talking about the ones sitting across from us either! Failing that, I’d just settle for a green/blue concept that we can agree to “level up” when the time is nigh upon usssssssssss!