I Make Theme Songs for Magic Decks

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Posted on June 19, 2017, 6:57 p.m. by Gattison

You probably are sick of hearing about this, but for about a year now, I've been writing parody songs about Magic: The Gathering.

Here is my resume.

Well, I really enjoy writing these songs, and I've even taken a few requests from friends, which were very fun challenges for me. Now I'd like to offer my services to others on the site. If anybody wants to request that i write a theme song for them, just let me know and I'll see what I can come up with.

If you have something specific you would like me to incorporate into the song, I'll do my best to accomodate that. However, in the interest of creating a final product that I can be proud of, I do reserve the right to make all final creative decisions.

If my terms are agreeable (they should be, I'm pretty easy to get along with), please don't hesitate to post a request here or on my wall. I'm looking forward to hearing from some of you!

Thanks for your time! Down with Napster!

Argy says... #2

Do you only write songs that are Hip Hop or RnB?

Coz that is SO not my style.

June 20, 2017 4:58 a.m.

Quicksilver says... #3

Anafenza, The Ghostbuster and something about Chandra and Liliana as BFF's.

June 20, 2017 9:17 a.m.

Gattison says... #4

Argy: Hip-hop and R&B are just my favorites to write, because there's so many words to play around with. But I do have a The Who parody, as well as one by The Standells. So, yeah, I'm all over the place. No restrictions on musical genre. =)

Quicksilver: Sounds like a good idea. Do you have a decklink? Or is that two different songs you're requesting? If so, got two decklinks?

June 20, 2017 6:15 p.m.

Argy says... #5

If you will do a song to Joan Jett's Crimson and Clover I am in.

Otherwise no.

June 20, 2017 6:39 p.m.

Quicksilver says... #6

June 20, 2017 10:05 p.m.

Gattison says... #7

Argy: I can do that, sure. I even kinda like that song. Is there a deck, a theme or anything you had in mind?

Quicksilver: ty. I'll start looking at your deck and see what I come up with.

June 20, 2017 10:27 p.m.

Argy says... #8

Do a song for Amonkhet Minotaurs to Crimson and Clover, please.

It might help that the deck is very Crimson and Cows eat Clover.

June 20, 2017 10:39 p.m.

Gattison says... #9

Argy: lol, I was hoping the deck would be gruul. that would have made it easier. but fine. alright, stay tuned, and we'll see what happens. =)

June 22, 2017 11:15 a.m.

Argy says... #10

Gattison never would have happened.

is anathema to me.

June 22, 2017 5:12 p.m.

Gattison says... #11

Just want to remind everybody... I write theme songs for Magic decks.

Let me know if you want to make a request. =)

August 13, 2017 5:42 p.m.

LVL_666 says... #12

So how much do you charge for a song? Because i'm quite curious as to what you think about my primary deck "The Queen's Egg"

August 16, 2017 1:28 p.m.

Gattison says... #13

LVL_666: Well, Sliver, by Nirvana... obviously =P

or I'm Bad, by Micheal Jackson...

or maybe something by Public Enemy...

And lucky for you it's only $0,000,000 per song. =D

Did you have any ideas for a song you want parodied? is there a key card or combo you'd like me to focus on (besides the obvious Sliver Overlord)? Do you have any sayings or phrases you find yourself using a lot when playing this deck? Or maybe something your hear opponents say about your deck a lot?

August 16, 2017 6:45 p.m.

LVL_666 says... #14

Gattison, the deck is ALL about Sliver Queen, Sliver Overlord merely has the pleasure of being her herald :) As for a specific song in mind? I haven't thought of anything at the moment. Well one of my favorite songs of all time is Faith No More - Epic Maybe you could use that as a basis? Oh, and another favorite Faith Song of mine is We Care Alot

August 16, 2017 8:27 p.m.

LVL_666 says... #15

Gattison i'm having a tangent...so please forgive me. But I think the previously mentioned We Care Alot would be a good choice because of the lyics. Here's a small snippet from the beginning of the song:

We care a lot
We care a lot
We care a lot about disasters, fires, floods and killer bees
We care a lot about the NASA shuttle falling in the sea
We care a lot about starvation and the food that Live Aid bought
We care a lot about disease, baby Rock, Hudson, rock, yeah
We care a lot
We care a lot

So an easy win would be substituting a line like "We care a lot about disasters, fires, floods and killer bees" with "We care a lot about lifelink, flash, doublestrike, and +1/+1". You get my idea?

August 16, 2017 8:37 p.m.

Gattison says... #16

LVL_666: I swore I responded this morning. My bad, I must not have hit send. Anyway...

Originally I was leaning more toward Epic, because it's more popular and has more lyrics, giving me more room for creativity.

Now however, I'm leaning more toward We Care Alot. Something like this, "We share a lot | we share colors like , , , , | We share a lot | We share mechanics like first strike and lifelink."

What do you think?

August 17, 2017 7:24 p.m.

LVL_666 says... #17

Gattison, It's true that Epic is more popular. I remember when I first heard it I couldn't get the song out of my head so I listened to it like 1,000,000 more times back when CDs were a thing. I'm showing my age. But I was leaning more toward We care alot due to your previously mentioned logic. I think I conveyed that with my last post. I'm all for we care alot. Can't wait to read the new lyrics.

August 17, 2017 7:50 p.m.

Gattison says... #18

LVL_666: K, I'm done. =)

It's over here, in my studio.

I'll give you the code if you wanna post it in your fancy deck description, too. =P

Also, it probably would have more polite of me to at least respond before now and let you know I agree and am working on it. My bad.

August 21, 2017 11:42 p.m.

LVL_666 says... #19

Gattison, wow that was quite an update. Honestly, I figured you'd get around to doing the song eventually but uh...I had no idea the turn around would be so quick. The lyrics are spot on and hilarious. The song is playing in my head right now and i'm just loving it. I put alot into my pet project...and I never envisioned a theme song for it...but the one that came to be was just perfect. Thank you. Also, I really liked the ending lyric - you just had to slip in your name.

Now i'm trying to figure out a way to implement it all in a way that flows naturally. I have silly little easter eggs hidden within the deck description (they're all youtube vids) but what i'd like to do is have it be something kind of hidden...but at the same time easily discoverable for the reader. I like my design minimalist yet distinct. Do you have any ideas?

Oh, and afterthought - I'd definitely like to have the code for the lyrics posted.

August 22, 2017 1:06 p.m.

LVL_666 says... #20


We share a lot, we share our Syphons and our bonescythes and our essence
We share a lot, we share four times as much as you, that's why we're better
Oh, and I see what you did there. Golf Claps

August 22, 2017 1:09 p.m.

Argy says... #21

Record it and put it in your deck description, like all the stylish people do.

August 22, 2017 1:34 p.m.

LVL_666 says... #22

Argy, you mean I sing it and put it on my deck page? I'm an awful singer...but if it gets me upvotes i'd do it.

August 22, 2017 1:46 p.m.

Argy says... #23

I can't guarantee that it will get you upvotes.

I CAN guarantee that it will make you awesome.

Get a friend who can sing and record them.

August 22, 2017 1:52 p.m.

Gattison says... #24

LVL_666: I'm so glad you like it. =D

And I'm glad you don't mind my little bout of self indulgence at the end there. The original lyrics begged me to do it.

As for descrip-insertion... you could slip it under "Other Information," or under "The Queen's Egg." Actually any of the last three sections.

...Or, you could add another section, call it "The Queen's Anthem."

...Or you could put it in a spoiler in the "When Slivers Come Together" section. Do something like, "When Slivers Come Together..." Interior Spoiler: "...They Sing!"

...Or you could put a Spoiler under deck strengths: "Proof Slivers Rock."

...Or... idk... you get the idea. =)

Argy: Actually, maybe if he put (w/Music Video!) in the title of his deck, that may drum up some views, at least. In fact, I know somebody else who could benefit possibly from that idea. I should tell her. (hint hint) =S

August 22, 2017 3:37 p.m.

Argy says... #25

Nah, that deck has all the votes it needs.

August 22, 2017 4:33 p.m.

Gattison says... #26


Feel like writing another song. If anybody wants me to try and write a theme song for their deck, just go ahead and ask. =)

September 23, 2017 6:19 p.m.

filthyc4sual says... #27

You've probably done this, but could you write a parody of "Rebel Rebel" for my deck Rebel Rebel, How Could They Know?

September 23, 2017 6:26 p.m.

Gattison says... #28

filthyc4sual: I have not parodied "Rebel Rebel" for your deck before, lol. =P

I've only done about 13 songs so far. You can check 'em out here, if you want.

So, yeah, I can do that. =)

Are there any specific cards, interactions, combos, etc. that you would like me to try and mention intentionally?

September 23, 2017 6:54 p.m.

filthyc4sual says... #29

I meant for rebel decks in general, sorry for not being clear. Lol.

Thanks! I cant think of any specific interactions, but if possible I would like there to be a toolbox/tutoring theme.

September 23, 2017 7:05 p.m.

Gattison says... #30

filthyc4sual: I was just being a smartass. I figured that's what you meant. =D (I haven't done any rebel stuff yet, either--or a Bowie song, for that matter.)

I'm sure I can figure something out for a "toolbox/tutor" theme. I'll keep ya posted, and you be sure to let me know if you come up with any ideas.

I don't have a timeframe to quote you, but the last few requests I took got done within a week or two. Hopefully it'll be the same this time around.

September 23, 2017 7:46 p.m.

filthyc4sual says... #31

Ok, thanks so much for doing this! It's really helpful for people like me who can't write/parody a song for our lives ;P

September 23, 2017 7:47 p.m.

Gattison says... #32

that's what I'm here for. =)

well, that and to play

September 23, 2017 7:50 p.m.

Gattison says... #33

filthyc4sual: Alright, sorry for taking so long, but I think I finally came up with something I can be proud of. If you approve that is. It's posted in my studio thread here.

go to albums -> rock -> #6

October 7, 2017 7:18 p.m.

Argy says... #34

Gattison you're a player, yet your username is ?

October 7, 2017 8:08 p.m.

Gattison says... #35

I play everything, but -stuff is definitely my favorite. Green, however, is my preferred color "irl," if you will. =D I never actually considered that before.

Hmmm, I might look good in red....

October 7, 2017 8:31 p.m.

filthyc4sual says... #36

That one is my favorite of your songs :)

I especially like , : I love rebels!

October 7, 2017 9:02 p.m.

Gattison says... #37

filthyc4sual: thank-you! =D

glad you like it. that one was a bit of a challenge because I was honestly unfamiliar with the song beforehand. =(

If you got any suggestions for cards I should link instead of the ones I picked, feel free, cuz you know the deck better than I do. Like maybe something to link for "answer" or "response?"

Otherwise, I can give you a code block to copy/paste in your deck descrip if you want.


October 7, 2017 9:28 p.m.

Def Jam [MTG Remix]


I'm the young merman that always stay real

Being a real merman got me a deal

They say he go crazy, they say he too real

But being a real merman got me a deal

I'm the young merman that always stay real

Being a real merman got me a deal

They say he go crazy, they say he too real

But being a real merman got me a deal

[Verse 1]

I want all dinos to know

That a real merfolk just hit the floor

Elenda get in the exile zone

I did not beg to be green, I was chose

I can act different with all my explores

Fishnificent in the flesh and the soul

I was that merman that chump blocked the Dusk Rose

Now Im that merman thats killin dinos

You think you know me, but you do not know

I King Macar my treasure and turn it to gold

I tell all of my merfolk I love them or so

I cant focus on merfolk that show me no love

Cause I came in the game and I showed merfolk up

Cause I came in the game and I swiped merfolk up

I fuck with activations, dont fuck with no chumps

I used to smile in their face but I give them no trust

Yo DJ a real merman, tell em

(Turn this fish up!)


I'm the young merman that always stay real

Being a real merman got me a deal

They say he go crazy, they say he too real

But being a real merman got me a deal

[Verse 2]

Tell all these jealous ass merfolk

Dont combo me, playa

Cause yo merfolk owe me some favors

That mean that they block for me, playa

Might not believe me, but I have no reason

To talk or to hate on you, playa

I am too busy, ran out of gas

And clearin a way for my merfolk

My merfolk got lords, Kumena be trippin

Kumena be paid, give that fish what he want

I dont check my mana and I know I can pay enough

Knowledge, my merfolk, Tishana is he serious?

A lord of the sea, are you hearin me merman?

Just tryna make it, they playin you, merman?

Aether Vial too late, they aint playin a merman?

Shout on top of Orazca, you pay for yo merman

Owe me some treasure then pay up, pay up, pay up

Pay up lil' merman


I'm the young merman that always stay real

Being a real merman got me a deal

They say he go crazy, they say he too real

But being a real merman got me a deal

February 7, 2018 10:27 a.m.

Argy says... #39

Gattison I have another request, if you're still taking them.

Flame-Chained to the tune of Bad Reputation.

Sorry, it's another Joan Jet song, but it fits the theme of the deck too well.

February 7, 2018 11:33 a.m.

Gattison says... #40

DeviousPenguin666: awesome! I added to the album. Thanks for sharing! =)

Is it a "theme song" for a deck of yours? Or just for Merfolk in general? If it's for a specific deck, I'd like to reference it, if you don't mind.

Argy: sure I'm still taking requests. I should be able to look at your deck and the song some time tomorrow. Until then, any ideas you want me to work in?

February 8, 2018 7:56 p.m.

Argy says... #41

Gattison oh y'know killing people's shit, and causing general mayhem, in the most bad arsed way possible.

Let this be your inspiration:

Hit Girl

February 8, 2018 9:05 p.m.

Gattison Thank you! I came up with it at an FNM with a couple friends. Also, it is not for a particular deck, just for Ixalan/merfolk as a whole.

February 8, 2018 9:26 p.m.

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