Who Was the Dumbest Troll You've Encountered?
Online Magic forum
Posted on March 24, 2014, 12:14 a.m. by BoromirOfGondor
A little while ago, I played a THS block sealed event, and in my final round I encountered this. (This is copied and pasted from the chat box; I just changed the names.)
11:48 PM Him: lucky noob
11:48 PM Him: jeez
11:48 PM Me: lol
11:48 PM Him: go kiss ur mommy kid
11:48 PM Me: u be trollin
11:48 PM Him: **
11:48 PM Him: trol
11:48 PM Him: ll
11:49 PM Him: fagg ggg ot trool
11:49 PM Me: it's past ur bedtime
11:49 PM Me: why dont you go nite nite
11:50 PM Him: k noonb
11:51 PM Him: lucky
11:51 PM Him: noob
11:51 PM Me: muahahahahaha
11:52 PM Him: noob
11:52 PM Me: just so you know
11:52 PM Him: lets go slow asss .ggg.g
11:53 PM Me: i dont give a crap if i lose
11:53 PM Him: .....
11:53 PM Him: .....
11:53 PM Me: im having fun watching you tilt out
11:53 PM Him: ok gfah
11:59 PM Him: ok fuking lucky noobit with ur shhhit deck gg faggg.g.gg.gg.g.g.g
11:59 PM Me: muahahahaa
11:59 PM Me: victory is mine, noob
The Irony is, I won 2-0. On that note, my question is what is the silliest, weirdest conversation you've had with an online troll?
I was playing a Mono Green stupid deck in Modern, and cast Elvish Mystic turn one. Then turn 2 cast a 3 drop, and he said I was cheating because it is against the rules to tap a creature for mana to cast other creatures.
Also, I once was playing my Monsters Inc. deck, (link to article will be below) and he said that I should take my netdeck to the tournament queue. When I linked him to my original article, he said it wasn't me that wrote it and quit then blocked me. My username is the same in both places. http://puremtgo.com/articles/monsters-inc
March 24, 2014 10:19 a.m.
I beg to direct your attention to a thread smackjack posted sometime in December called This made me laugh :).
March 24, 2014 12:14 p.m.
jpgcoleman says... #6
There are too many instances to name. My only response is usually "K" which usually inflames them even more. They are attention seekers who are usually lashing out because of some other aspect in their life. I had some child the other day say I was "flopping to clown porn". I don't care to look up what that means but I still think that is the funniest thing I have heard. I beat him and he accused me of exploiting some sort of bug which was not the case.
April 4, 2014 12:08 p.m.
InconspicuousPotato says... #7
I don't remember the kick phase in between main phase 1 and combat.
April 4, 2014 10:57 p.m.
VampireArmy says... #8
Cockatrice. Nuff said. I'm actually spending the money to get my decks into mtgo because i simply CANNOT stand that service anymore
April 9, 2014 11:21 p.m.
CanadianShinobi says... #9
I can't really call them a "troll" so much as an idiot. Or, an incompetent player may be closer to the mark.
I have several stories from MTGO of people hating me for playing in the casual room. Why? Well apparently playing counterspells or just blue in general automatically qualifies any deck as belonging in tourney practice. Anyway, yesterday I got into a "discussion" with someone who decided that Remand was unfair.
He began telling me that regardless of my "cheating" that he would win. His green ramp deck nearly did win, but he figured tapping out would be the best bet, one remand later he was cursing at me again. On the plus side I won. :)
April 11, 2014 4:24 p.m.
HarbingerJK says... #11
@Matsi883 that just looks like a case of a kid who doesn't know all the rules of the game and thought you were trying to cheat lol still ridiculous nonetheless
April 14, 2014 8:35 p.m.
@HarbingerJK: When I said "one second," I was looking for a rule that would back me up, but he kicked me before I could find it.
By the way, he was playing Affinity. I'm not sure if that makes this more hilarious or backs him up a little bit.
April 14, 2014 9:56 p.m.
InconspicuousPotato says... #13
Well if he was playing affinity I kind of understand. I mean, artifact creatures have summoning sickness. What were you trying to do exactly?
April 14, 2014 10:01 p.m.
@InconspicuousPotato: Put a counter on Ratchet Bomb .
April 14, 2014 10:02 p.m.
HarbingerJK says... #15
actually Matsi883 I think that makes it more hilarious lol
April 14, 2014 10:25 p.m.
InconspicuousPotato says... #16
Wait so if he was playing affinity and thought artifacts had summoning sickness... Oh god he must have been playing that deck so awfully.
April 14, 2014 11:49 p.m.
Pretty much, he was playing Tron, had it T3. Had Wurmcoil Engine
, Emrakul, the Aeons Torn
, everything he could need to win the game. I had: Ensnaring Bridge
and no cards in hand.
April 16, 2014 2:36 p.m.
InconspicuousPotato says... #18
Dude in my post that's almost exactly what happened! He was playing Tron, I had Suppression Field out, he kicked me. when I asked why I was kicked he said he "wasn't gonna waste another 3 turns to o-stone [my] shit deck"
Servo_Token says... #2
First off, I think you need to learn the difference between a troll and a moron.
A troll is someone of moderate to extreme intelligence who likes to poke fun at others at their expense. They're crafty and witty. The best trolls make it so that you don't immediately realise that you've been trolled.
A moron, however, is the person that you played against. Doesn't speak proper English, or whichever language is native to them, is extremely repetitive in their use of swear words, and thinks that there is no one better than themselves.
I really don't appreciate how synonymous the word 'Troll' has become with the words 'Bully' or 'dumbfuck'. Proper trolling is an art that can be appreciated by both sides of it. It's all the people that aren't intelligent enough to do it properly that makes others believe that it is strictly someone being mean to someone else.
To get back to your question though, I've seen some interesting people on MTGO. There was once this fellow who was on the complete opposite end of the expected spectrum who was playing Maze's end. I was playing Mono Blue. We were paired up, and when I put down my Cloudfin Raptor turn one, he was very adamant that I was "Just another unoriginal netdecker who had no idea how to play the deck". While he was playing Stock Turbo Fog Maze's End. I then proceeded to drop a Tidebinder Mage and just start beating on him. I didn't play into Supreme Verdict , and made him run out of fogs pretty quickly with just my few little creatures. After he had only 1 card in hand, which I assumed wasn't a verdict, and 7 gates out, I played Master of Waves , and Fated Infatuation 'd it to double my tokens. He tried to take it out next turn with a Hero's Downfall , which was shot by Thassa's Rebuff . After I swing for lethal, he tries to tell me that I was a really lucky net decker, so I just told him to find a copy of my deck list anywhere on the internet. He then said something along the lines of "I'm so much more original than you", to which I replied with 3 links to his exact deck. He left the match. So yeah, that one guy does really exist, and i've had to play him. It's not just spikes that get cocky.
March 24, 2014 8:31 a.m.