M:tG-Themed Insults and Pickup Lines (please keep discussion civilized and mature)
General forum
Posted on May 3, 2018, 8:53 p.m. by DemonDragonJ
Members of a subculture typically develop their own language and terminology, and Magic: the Gathering is no different; its players often have their own unique phrases, so I would like to invite everyone to invent their own pickup lines or insults that have an M:tG theme, but in a humorous and light-hearted manner, of course. There is no need to be rude or immature when doing this; this is intended to be simple fun.
To begin, I have several M:tG-themed insults to share:
"Your mother is so fat that she can destroy a Darksteel Colossus just by sitting on it!"
"Your mother is so old that even Nicol Bolas calls her 'mom!'"
"Other Phyrexians may have nightmares about the Phyrexian Gargantua, but your mother is so ugly that the gargantua has nightmares about her!"
Now, for some pickup lines:
"Hey, baby, wanna Twiddle my Bone Flute?"
"Are you a land card? Because I'd tap that!"
"Hey, baby, let's populate!"
What does everyone else say about this? What are some M:tG-themed insults or pickup lines that you can conceive? Again, please make an effort o be polite and respectful, so that no one shall be disciplined by the staff.
Hey is that a deck in your pocket or are you just happy to see me
May 4, 2018 8:38 a.m.
GeeksterPlays says... #4
Yo' mama so fat she have her own Stomping Ground!
Hey baby, I'm not a fan of Cougars, but you look more like a Taiga ;]
I've never dated someone from the Carribean before, but I always fancied Birds of Paradise...
May 4, 2018 9:50 a.m.
MindAblaze says... #7
Yo mommas ass so fat, she makes Trostani and Doran sing Baby got Back.
Yo momma so stank, she makes Death Clouds when she moves.
May 4, 2018 12:29 p.m.
Pick-up line:
- Are you a licid? Because I find you enchanting.
Insult (surely we can do better than tired, cliche, and dull "yo momma" jokes, right?):
- Did someone pay your monstrous cost? Or did you just enter the battlefield as such a snake?
May 4, 2018 1:08 p.m.
"Hey baby, you're so hot you're a Fireball." (Pickup Line)
"Are you a gorgon? Because you look hot when I'm stoned." (Insult; just use any gorgon card ever.)
May 4, 2018 2:07 p.m.
Okay, time for some real zingers:
Yo mama so fat, when she goes swimming you can tap her for blue mana.
Girl, you must be a mox stone cause I think I'd go crazy if I saw you unsleeved.
May 5, 2018 9:02 a.m.
Pick-up: "Is your name Sarah (Serra), cuz' you look like an angel."
"I'd pay full price for your Miracle, baby."
May 6, 2018 4:56 p.m. Edited.
DemonDragonJ says... #12
Icbrgr, is that a real shirt? Please tell me that it is, because I would very much like to have one.
May 6, 2018 7:27 p.m.
@DemonDragonJ there are a few variants out there... but here is one from just googling "MTG I'd tap that shirt"
May 7, 2018 9:40 a.m.
Oh, new insult:
"Yo mamma's so fat she'd tap out trying to climb a Mountain!"
And a new pickup line:
"Hey baby, It's love in Plains-ight. You don't mind if I Swamp you with love, do you?"
(The pun here is "Plain sight." "Love at first sight?" Shows himself out, laughing like a Laboratory Maniac.)
Game_of_Cones says... #2
"Yo Mama so ugly, she look like she got smacked upside the head with a Chaos Orb!"
May 3, 2018 10:25 p.m.