theoretically worst deck

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Posted on Sept. 18, 2020, 7:09 p.m. by bearskin

I have a silly theoretical question, but I do think its an interesting exercise in MTG knowledge. Basically, imagine all possible 60 card decks that have a win condition. Now imagine someone who plays those decks with god-like skill (tries to win). What deck is the worst? A trivial example would be:

59x mountain 1x goblin lackey

but you can do much, much worse! for example,

1x Ornithopter 1x holy strength 1x plains 57x mountain

the second deck is much harder for a god-like player to win with. Put another way, what's the most complicated win condition in the game? Im genuinely interested to see what someone could come up with.

MagicMarc says... #2

61 cards and hope your opponent has 60 and win the roll and pick be on the play?

September 18, 2020 8:06 p.m.

SteelSentry says... #3

Didn't Dominaria standard have an actual Standard deck that won by having Teferi, Hero of Dominaria infinitely tuck himself until the opponent decked out?

September 18, 2020 9:18 p.m.

Caerwyn says... #4

202 cards, a single copy of Battle of Wits as your win condition. Every single non-blue and White land that enters tapped; the rest Wastes. A way to convert the land's mana into Blue mana. Sacrifice engines to put everything on the field graveyard after you resolve Battle of Wits, and Archangel's Light to shuffle your graveyard into your library.

September 18, 2020 9:26 p.m.

bearskin says... #5

Caerwyn lol nice! I could see that taking a few thousand turns with best play easy.

September 18, 2020 9:58 p.m.

Lanzo493 says... #6

Win with Coalition Victory, but every land in your deck is nonbasic. You have to transform them with Spreading Seas, Song of the Dryads, Contaminated Ground, Celestial Dawn, and Blood Moon. Then have a Sphinx of the Guildpact or something.

September 19, 2020 12:06 a.m.

Lanzo493 says... #7

I guess I should mention you can't use triomes, shocks, or any kind of dual land. You'll have to play your spells in the correct order to pull it off. Something about layers. I don't know if it's entirely possible, but if it is, it's probably impressively difficult.

September 19, 2020 12:16 a.m.

Metroid_Hybrid says... #8

@Lanzo493: Nope, winning with Coalition Victory is as easy as it sounds on the surface. There's a reason why it's outright banned in EDH..

From Gatherer:

9/25/2006 - When Coalition Victory resolves, it checks for the five basic land types (Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest) and the five colors (white, blue, black, red, green). If a single land has multiple types and/or a single creature is multiple colors, it will count all those types and/or colors

September 19, 2020 6:13 a.m.

TriusMalarky says... #9

Metroid_Hybrid You missed the interaction between Blood Moon and Celestial Dawn. Quite literally, whichever one of those is newer will affect your lands. So, what you need to do is

Then, you want to have a handful of very specific creatures to make it harder, not just a 5-color one.

September 19, 2020 10:21 a.m.

TriusMalarky says... #10

One with Nothing. Also, Singleton Storm -- Storm is complicated enough with multiples, Singleton would make it SO weird.

However, Singleton Storm would have a dual effect of both being almost impossible to play well but also being one of the best decks of all time if you allow use of any cards.

I mean, there are enough powerful cards that Singleton Storm could run just about any tournament and crush it..... if you're able to think in seven dimensions.

September 19, 2020 10:26 a.m.

Lanzo493 says... #11

Another issue with Celestial Dawn is it makes all your creatures white. So, to make it harder, you'd have to run Cerulean Wisps, Crimson Wisps, Aphotic Wisps, and Viridescent Wisps.

September 19, 2020 1 p.m.

Step one: pick a theme that is pervasive in the M:tG sets, but isn’t well-directed or specifically-purposed. Let’s say, for example, natural disasters. Step two: choose the most themely cards for each of the five different colors. No creatures.
Step three: add basic-only lands for each of the five land types. Step four: choose a ridiculous WURBG legendary creature. Step five: attempt to outrun your opponents in damage, maybe with spells like Lightning Bolt, while you Hurricane/Earthquake/Pestilence everyone to zero. This is only a hypothetical, of course. No one should ever do this.

September 19, 2020 1:01 p.m.

bearskin says... #13

my latest idea:


but why?

Standard* bearskin

1 VIEW


September 19, 2020 1:20 p.m.

MagicMarc says... #14

Congratulations, Lanzo493 & TriusMalarky you found a deck idea that would actually make the worst junk rares ever printed a win condition;

Purelace, Thoughtlace, Chaoslace, Deathlace, Lifelace, and honorable mention to Prismatic Lace.

Remember, these were printed in the same slot of the same sets as stuff like...Black Lotus. So you could open a pack of Alpha and have a chance (probably the same chance) of getting a Black Lotus worth US 300,000 or one of these beauties worth....25 cents!

September 19, 2020 2:27 p.m.

Megalomania says... #15

Lanzo493, Dryad of the Ilysian Grove helps if you want to use Coalition Victory as a win con. That and a 5c commander.

September 20, 2020 12:14 a.m.

Lanzo493 says... #16

Of course, Megalomania. The dryad, or Prismatic Omen, would make it much easier (which is why it's banned in commander), but that wouldn't be as legendary. I was just trying to make the win condition as complicated as possible to add to the discussion.

September 20, 2020 12:22 a.m.

shadow63 says... #17

Mythics that have been printed in standard packs. Until this new set you had like two lands you could use

September 20, 2020 7:08 p.m.

moo1234 says... #18

This is more complicated than anything

So you play Lich's Mirror OK

You Play Underworld Dreams OK

You Donate the mirror, OK

You Kill them with infect

Because you want to win in the classiest stupidest worst way possible when they die of infect they will try to not lose the game with the mirror they will shuffle all permanents they OWN into their library and draw 7 cards get pinged for 7 attempt to lose the game get pinged for 7 and attempt to lose the game and get pinged for 7 and attempt to lose the game and get pinged for 7

Lich's mirror confuses me but I think you end up winning unless I'm being stupid which is always a distinct possibility

September 20, 2020 7:58 p.m.

bearskin says... #19

@moo123 you could be onto something if the mirror stays in play under their control. But if a god-like player is using this deck it might be "easier" to just have underworld dreams in play for 20 turns. I can see how those cards could make a tough win condition though.

September 20, 2020 9:17 p.m.

I always thought that Barren Glory was the most insane Wincon to ever pull off in a Constructed format..

September 21, 2020 8:36 a.m.

MagicMarc says... #21

For a funky Barren Glory win I put together this deck that wins with Barren Glory on turn 1. It needs a dream opening hand but works. Take a look: Turn 1 Win Barren Glory

September 21, 2020 11:07 a.m.

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