I've considered a few names for this deck:

  • Wumpus! There It Is!
  • Wumpus, Wumpus, Wumpus
  • Things That Go Wump in the Night
  • Wumping Uglies
  • My Lovely Lady Wump
  • A Priest and a Rabbi Walk Into WUMPUS!!!!

So, this deck is all about Argothian Wurm. Turn one ramp in the form of either Birds of Paradise or Tinder Wall will get you a land destruction spell on turn 2. Repeat on turns 3, 4, etc. When your opponent misses a land drop, cast a handsome Shivan Wumpus or his evil twin Argothian Wurm.

No one really likes land destruction. It's a strategy that makes people feel icky.

Now, a Wumpus, on the other hand... everybody loves a Wumpus! A Wumpus is fun. A Wumpus is silly. The name even sounds kinda like rumpus, which is a fun thing to make. So much fun! Though, it may be important to remind opponents how much fun they are having.

The ideal opening hand:

  • 2-3 lands (at least one green)
  • 1-2 ramp critter
  • 1-2 land destruction spells
  • 1 wumpus or wurm

There's a good chance you will draw into a wumpus or wurm during the first couple turns, so the lack of either is not reason enough to mulligan. Lack of a ramp critter is.

You want to destroy the first few lands your opponent plays. If you can't get all the lands, try to get all the lands that produce a critical color. Sooner or later, your opponent will miss a land drop. Then you play the Wumpus and begin beating face.

Chances are good you will land a second beat stick, yet, even with only one, this deck will deal 18 points of damage easily. Of course, that's still 2 life short of 20. A single Magma Jet will finish off your opponent when he or she was thinking they'd have a turn left. Magma Jet will also help dig for any missing pieces.

The ideal turn by turn opening:

  1. Land, Birds of Paradise
  2. Land, any land destruction spell
  3. Land, any land destruction spell
  4. Shivan Wumpus or Argothian Wurm

Orcish Settlers is there for later in the game. Opponents may get lucky with land draws or have ramp spells available. The land destruction spells in this deck are plentiful, but they are also single target. Orcish Settlers gives us a means of wiping out 2 or 3 lands with one card.

No deck is perfect, and this one is not an exception.

  • Mana dorks. Use a Magma Jet to get rid of mana dorks. These guys are a bigger problem than any 2/2 beater.

  • Counter Spells. The simplicity and redundancy of this deck typically ensure that removal or counters are not a big deal. However, with so many 2-cmc counter spells in the game, it can be a challenge to push through a deck that carries a dozen of them.

  • Squads. You do not need to spend a Magma Jet on an early beat stick. That little Goblin Guide will turn tail and run for the nearest life coach when Shivan Wumpus arrives. However, if an opponent lands two or three little beaters, you may run out of time. Subtract Bramblecrush and side in Acidic Slime to play defense if necessary.

  • Ramp decks. The Wumpus assault can deal with a great many problems, but ramp decks are a unique challenge. The opponent can refuel their land supply faster than we can raze it down. This is especially true if he or she employs enough 2-cmc ramp spells. (I'm looking at you, Sakura-Tribe Elder.) Luckily, we can often keep rampers off of 3 mana, which is the magic number for many common ramp spells. Still... it's tricky.

This is still in development.

Working against ramp decks can be a bit of a problem. As mentioned above, they can undo all the destruction work this deck at roughly the same rate. The solution depends on which type of ramp deck we are facing.

Creature Ramp:

Spell Ramp:

Artifact Ramp:

  • Swap out 3 Magma Jet for 3 Acidic Slime. If possible, use the LD spells to hold an opponent to a specific color. Artifact ramp like Sol Ring often provides only colorless. The Slime is slow, but his death-touchy body makes for a good deterrent against attackers.

Combating fast-paced, low-land decks is a challenge. Whether this is a good matchup or not depends largely on how well the opponent draws. I'm still working on a sideboard strategy for these. My initial thoughts are:

  • Swap out 2 card Orcish Settlers for 2 Lightning Bolt. The extra kill spells will help if our opponent manages to build a small squad. For example, White Weenie decks with swords can be a problem. The swords grant color protection and their abilities can destroy us. This is one scenario where burning away a 2/2 body like Puresteel Paladin is worth it.
Originally, this deck used Twinflame and Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker to make copies of the Wumpus and speed up the beat down. These worked well. Kiki-Jiki was great because repeating the ETB ability of a Wumpus can remove two lands in one turn. Or, he provides a hasty beat stick. However, I found the copy spells were worthless if one of the big beatsticks was removed, or the rare situation when I failed to draw one. Copiers need something to copy.

When I added 4x Acidic Slime I found the need to copy my beaters was less essential. The slime fits the central strategy of the deck. Yet, he also works as non-creature removal for pesky enchantments and artifacts, like Land Tax. At 5 mana, I was afraid he'd be too expensive, but games run long when your opponent isn't able to cast anything. So, the casting cost isn't problematic in the mid to late game.

That understood, I recently swapped out Acidic Slime for Bramblecrush. The Slime's body was nice to have, but I can sometimes get Bramblecrush going on turn 2 with a Tinder Wall. Slime is still living the ooze life in the sideboard as he can help will creature-based decks.


Updates Add

I've returned to the world of MTG and begun reworking this deck. Gone are Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker and Twinflame. Lightning Bolt may be out as well. I'm currently testing Magma Jet in it's place. Sometimes, I get stuck drawing too many lands, or too many mana dorks. Hoping the 2 cmc cost isn't prohibitive, and the Jets will help dig for the right pieces.


Compare to inventory
Date added 5 years
Last updated 4 days

This deck is Casual legal.

Cards 60
Avg. CMC 2.62
Folders Stealing, Uncategorized
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Revision 16 See all

4 days ago)

+4 Winter's Grasp main
+4 Tinder Wall main
-4 Tinder Wall main
-4 Winter's Grasp main

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