This is a casual Orzhov-themed EDH deck that focuses on what Orzhov does best; removal and life drain. The theme of this deck is obviously the Orzhov Syndicate, but has a touch of B/W Shadowmoor, flavourwise.
I've separated the cards into different categories based on role and function.
The big daddies themselves!"
Our Commander!
"Why have one commander when you can have five?"
I chose Obzedat, Ghost Council as my Commander because wanted my EDH deck not only to be Black and White, but also because i wanted my deck to have the flavour of the Orzhov Syndicate. Upon deciding that, I was presented with 5 different commanders; Teysa, Orzhov Scion, Teysa, Envoy of Ghosts, Ghost Council of Orzhova, Obzedat, Ghost Council and Karlov of the Ghost Council.
Teysa, Orzhov Scion and Ghost Council of Orzhova both require me to run tokens to be effective, and I didn't want to build my deck in that direction.
Karlov of the Ghost Council, while very high on my badass list, is a better pick in a deck that is more centered around life gain.
I actually considered making Teysa, Envoy of Ghosts my commander for a long time. She can smack face without tapping and has protection from creatures to ensure both that she gets in for 4 and that the creature she blocks doesn't do shit.
The last Orzhovian Commander to pick from was Obzedat, Ghost Council. They really appealed to me because they drain life from my opponents, which is one of the reasons the Orzhov Syndicate is my favourite guild, and are extremely tedious to get rid of - practically immune to Sorcery speed removal. You're not even punished for exiling Obzedat since they get Haste when they return from exile.
The downsides with this commander is that it's rather hard to cast, requiring 2 of both your colours, and it lacks an ability that interacts with the board.
Regardless of its flaws, Obzedat, Ghost Council appealed the most to me, despite probably not being the best of the bunch.
"No fun for you!"
Cards that limit your opponents options in various ways or are just unpleasant in general.
Creatures:
"Casting spells. Punching face. Pick one."
Forcing your opponents to choose between board development and aggression is strong. She also makes casting sorceries awkward.
"Captain Redface and Father Toilet-Seat will make the big guys cry."
These guys makes attacking you unfavourable, because your opponents are either going to lose their best attacker or outright best permanent. Loyal Sentry has the added upside of being resurrectable with Orzhov Charm, which WILL catch someone off-guard in the late game.
"Why can't I hold all these 7s?"
This creature is the epitome of unfun. He exiles 7 cards that could very well be the 7 best cards in their deck. Mind that this is Commander. You only have one of each card. Exiling some key cards could prove fatal for an opponent. In addition to the milling on steroids, you also get to steal a creature from among the cards. One small thing to take note of is that you MUST take a creature if there is one.
Another thing to bear in mind is that the creature you pick will end up in its owner's graveyard when it finally dies. Sometimes, the best decision is to leave the better creature in exile so that they can't get it back in any way!
"What's that? You can't pay the troll toll? No attacks 4 u then!"
Taxing your opponent for attacking you is incredibly effective, especially against tokens. Being a Creature, and a 2/3 at that, she dies to almost anything. She's not even safe against Green because she has flying. Nonetheless, she is effective at what she does, and will act as a removal magnet. She also gets points for being the closest we get to Mary Poppins in this deck.
"A Venetian ferryman that grew tired of smiles and rivers. He still likes one kind of river, though - the ones that run down your cheeks as he steals your best card."
Mr. Hand Attack, aka Dimitri, will scout out trouble for you. The opponent has to reveal their hand for all players, which will set them back in terms of information and surprise factor. The card is only gone for as long as Dimitri is on the battlefield so you better protect him. If you can make the opponent waste removal on Dimitri to get their card back, you've won the battle of principles and resources.
"The way everyone looks at you when you fart a bit too loud on the bus."
Souls is a great card because its sheer presence is enough to make opponents hesitate with attacking you. No one wants to be drained for 7 just to finally get rid of Team Fisheyes. Because your role at the table is that of being the grinning asshole with all the answers (that still doesn't play blue), you need good deterrants, like this card!
Instants:
"Insert original joke about Dark Cave, Zubats and Repels here."
This is the ultimate punishment for attacking with a big group of small Creatures. I've made an opponent lose the game with this, because they attacked with around 25 elves. Fun times.
"Because you don't have to play blue to be an asshole."
I must state one thing: I LOVE nonblue counterspells, especially Guttural Response. It's a counterspell for counterspells! And the very image of you contesting an intelligent spell by belching out a "BRRLLORRGGHH" is hilarious. But I digress. Since we cannot use that in an Orzhov EDH deck, we will have to settle for something else.
I picked Lapse of Certainty because it sets the opponent back two turns. Firstly, they don't get to cast their spell. Secondly, they are denied of drawing a new card the next turn. Being able to reveal an opponent's spell to all other players is strong. If you're lucky, you might get a blue player to counter the same spell for good next turn.
Sorceries:
"Destroy target mood."
This is the meanest card in the deck. Nothing is worse than being forced to topdeck. The fact that the unfortunate opponent also loses their graveyard adds insult to injury. This card forces out a counterspell, which is pretty useful.
"People frequently tells me to "take my time". Well, now I am!"
Both effects of this card are very good. If you're able to cast this in the early game, say, turn 6, then it will be super hard for your opponents to choose. On turn 6, people are usually still in the political phase of the game. Upon casting this, chances are that you're just going to take an extra turn because no one wants to pay half their life that early, and even if someone does, this spell basically says 4 mana: target opponent loses 20 life.
Enchantments:
"Filling the kitchen with not just silence, but salt as well since Weatherlight."
Denying your opponents their mana rocks and enchantments for two turns, and thus screwing up their curve is fun. Fun for you, that is. Even when someone gets their Artifacts or Enchantments out, you can usually destroy them right away. That feeling of hopelessness, not to forget redundancy, is demoralizing to your enemies.
"Is this life truly better than purgatory?"
With this, you will slow the game down to a crawl. In addition to making everything kneel in obedience, it also has Extort, giving you an ever increasing advantage. Being a 2-drop, you can get this out early and deny your opponents of their early mana from mana rocks like Thran Dynamo and Sol Ring.
"Don't you just hate it when hot dog stands appear out of nowhere?"
Just like Windborn Muse, this card will stave off most agression. Being an Enchantment, it's slightly harder to remove than the Muse.
"For each time played, a friend lost. For each smug grin, a tooth punched out."
You're probably starting to see a theme here. I love forcing my opponents to compromise and think about things otherwise obvious. This card is really mean, and unless someone is packing immediate removal, which will still make them pick their poison once, you can quickly walk away with the game.
Note that unlike most of the other cards mentioned in this category, Painful Quandary will not deter attackers but make you a big target instead. Because of that, you must assess the board state and be wary about the possible consequences before playing this.
Artifact"s":
"I seem to have skipped the chapter in Sun Tzu's "Art of War" where he writes about arranging skirmishes in holes in the wall."
Crawlspace is a delightful card that stops most aggression, and the best part about it is that it only affects you. It's pretty unfun for an opponent to only be able to attack with two creatures that you most likely can block. This will be the target of artifact removal sooner or later, which brings me over to another thing that's nice about Crawlspace. Its CMC is 3, which makes it a nice resurrection target for Sun Titan.
You dare bring light to my lair? You must die!
Our different removal spells and board wipes.
Creatures:
"You know you're not welcome when a woman flying on a giant winged tiger tells you to f*ck off"
5/5 flyer for 8 mana is fine. Suboptimal, but fine. What makes this card fantastic is that it exiles something TWICE! It's a big board presence because you're always threatening to exile an important permanent.
"Now, even eldritch abominations may wear underpants!"
This is probably my favourite card in the entire deck. The flavour is bursting, the art is amazing, and the actual card is fantastic. This card rewards you immensely for using cards of both colours. If a creature is both White and Black, it will get +2/+2. If you cast a spell that is both Black and White, you can destroy a creature for free. Due to the abilities triggering at the same time, you simply put the "destroy" ability on the stack first, followed by the "tap" ability. This card is going to help you a lot!
"Please don't recommend him to use Listerine. He's very aware and sensitive about his breath. Who's the real demon here?"
This guy gives you a one sided board wipe, which is incredibly useful. Just remember that you have to CAST IT FROM YOUR HAND for the effect to occur! Also keep in mind that it taps all of your creatures.
"His real name is Clarence, but R&D had him pick something more intimidating, so he went with the second best."
This card kills players, especially those with token decks. To get both a 6/5, a static ability, as well as a built in Drown in Sorrow, save the Scrying and the fact that it only hits opponents, is super value. The most obvious, as well as the most devastating combo is with Sudden Spoiling. You can cast the wurm first to see if it resolves. If it does, cast Sudden Spoiling while Massacre Wurm's ability is on the stack, and BAM: Instant targeted board clear! The static ability is always relevant, not just with its own sweep effect. A big game changer indeed!
"The patriarch likes it when you call him big papa!"
This is Zealous Persecution Jr. You can only pick one of the two stat changers, so you'll usually pick -1/-1 for removal. Using Haunt effectively gives you more control of which creatures that live or die.
Instants:
"One of the few times having fabulous hair doesn't compensate for hating your life."
Good removal spell that can deal with Enchantments. I adore the amounts of hopelessness and despair in the picture, and love the homage this card pays to Terror. If you want to be cool, you should get your hands on a Mortify with this art.
"Through the shiniest forehead in history, I pass judgment unto thee!"
This isn't strictly just a removal spell, as you have a bounce effect and the aforementioned resurrection of 1-drops. As a removal spell however, it's rather strong. To be able to destroy any creature for 2 mana without any restrictions is not to be taken lightly. The life loss usually isn't a big deal - you're Orzhov, and will steal that back from your opponents anyways.
"I think they forgot "nonginger" in the oracle text."
This removal spell is pretty strong, as long as you're not fighting opponents of the same colours. I know I'm not, so it works well for me. You kill something, then get a flying chump blocker, THEN DO IT AGAIN!
I think this card is underrated simply because it has the "Haunt"-mechanic. "Haunt" allows you to control the board after the spell has resolved. If you for example decide to haunt an opponents blocker, they'll most likely keep it back in fear of losing their best creature.
Another, possibly better, example is haunting your own attackers, like Tidehollow Sculler. They don't want to block that so that you can kill something else and get a token. Good for sneaking in extra damage!
"This poor leonin will never get used to opening the blinds in the morning."
Undoubtedly one of the best removal spells in the game. To exile any Creature for one mana is crazy good. It even avoids Indestructible Creatures! It's risky to use in the early game, though, as that one land they get essentially puts them one turn ahead of you.
"You think I'm good at reaping wheat? You should've seen me yesterday when I was chopping down soldiers!"
This, I think, is THE best removal spell in Magic! Once again you may remove any creature from the game, but all you opponent gets is, like, 6 life. Too good to not run.
"As the thief skipped across the rooftops, he suddenly became subject to the most grotesque kind of karma."
Another fantastic removal spell that exiles instead of destroying. I originally fell in love with the Eventide version because of the amounts of flavour, but the full art version is so disgustingly beautiful I can't help but use it.
"Are those from Grixis? Screw equality, kill the lowlifes!"
This card isn't just a removal spell. It's supposed to be used to create a big stat swing mid combat, but it's effective at killing small tokens too.
"From man to mouse in the blink of an eye."
This card is very mean, and while it doesn't kill anyone directly, it makes an opponent's Creatures useless. Split Second ensures that no one will prevent this spell from resolving. Use in combination with other cards (cough cough.... Massacre Wurm cough cough....).
Sorceries:
"Life is a series of attempts at hiding your pottery from bugs."
Ok. I'll be honest. I don't know how effective this card is in commander, but it follows the theme of making your opponent choose between bad and worse. In the mid game, this will probably read "target opponent loses 1 life for each permanent he or she owns" most of the time, but the longer the game lasts, the higher the chance that their board is full of Artifacts and Lands, which will contribute to a high number. This card is good at dealing with players that have an overwhelming board position, but is at very low life.
"Better at rinsing the table than most cleaning solutions."
Ahhh! The big daddy of board wipes! Only costing 4 mana, it's very effective. The fact that the creatures can't be regenerated is more relevant in EDH than in other formats. The inverted text box is a very cool touch.
"Are you ticklish?"
Pretty standard spell. In the late game, this kills pretty much everything, and if you need to, you can target their face for a devastating finisher. As a bonus, you gain life equal to the damage you deal, doubling the life swing if you target their face.
"Thanks to this spell, I lost my shit. Literally!"
An amazing board wipe. It's very flexible, as it can target one of four different card types. It also exiles instead of destroying, so it's useful for dealing with those pesky Voltron Commanders with Hexproof + Indestructible.
"Then God said "Let there be blight"."
Damnation's counterpart. It's the same card, except for having different colour in their mana costs. Having the 10th edition art is a must if you're going to have both in the same deck (not really, lol).
Enchantments:
"They told me to put a ring on it if i liked it. Now my girlfriend is gone."
Most people know this card, and for good reason. It removes anything troublesome from the game, and requires removal. This deck has some impactful Enchantments, so this functions as a good way of baiting out Enchantment removal.
"Jesus quickly found out that the Orzhov didn't accept "seeds of wisdom" as payment."
This card is bursting with flavour and is quite useful at boot. At base, this is an Arrest, but it also has the creature's original controller lose 1 life at the start of their upkeep, which can add up.
"The 19th century summed up in one card."
This one isn't technically a removal spell, but functions as one. Mind controlling is a blue thing, so having access to it in black is pretty cool. The 1 damage it deals to its owner at the beginning of your upkeep is seldom game changing, but because it't the enslaved Creature that deals the damage, you sometimes get additional bonuses. If you've enslaved an Abyssal Specter for example, the owner will have to discard due to being dealt damage by it.
"No, there is no "Get out of jail" Magic card. Yes, you may cry."
A very flavourful card. It's an Arrest, but with the added feature of being able to make any later creatures useless upon entering the battlefield. This is yet another punch at the opponent's motivation, as they know that anything they play will be less useful than reading glasses for blind people.
"My graveyard is just a second hand"
Our different forms of reanimation.
Creatures:
"Strictly prettier than the Giants on Lorwyn."
The Sun Tit is going to carry its weight most of the time. We have a series of different cards whose CMC is 3 or less. Ghostly Prison, Crawlspace, Blind Obedience and Oblivion Ring to name a few good ones. It combos really well with Aura of Silence, as you can sac it right before attacking with the Tit.
"The result of every attempt at casting Giant Growth irl."
Dongwalker, the Tenacious Dickbeast over here reccurs three different types of permanents and has Extort which combos with his reccursion ability. Most of the time you attack with this, however, the opponent will have a stronger creature to block with. Back up the Schlong with removal to kill the blocker to get additional triggers!
Instants:
"After The Great Aurora, the Witches of Shadowmoor were still in economic crisis. Due to this, they use the same cauldron to make both potions and curry. Prepare for the red ring of doom should you buy a hag's brew."
While not strictly a reanimation spell, it stops removal quite well. It absolutely shits on board wipes. This card packs unknown political power as you have the option to save other player's creatures from said board wipe. You can use this to form alliances and make the caster the enemy.
Sorceries:
"Fun fact: The Obzedat is just smelling salts incarnated. A whiff of deceased musk will bring even Elspeth back to life. Too soon? Sorry!"
This reanimation spell has the added benefit of being able to ressurect any permanent INCLUDING PLANESWALKERS! Besides that, it's a nice method of reviving your most expensive cards for only 5 CMC, such as Debtors' Knell and Lord of the Void.
"Me every Monday"
Among the many ressurection spells I could've added to this deck, Unburial Rites gets an edge because it has Flashback, which makes the card available after being used. Since I only have three Flashback spells in the deck, people will quickly forget about them once cast from my hand, and then it hits them on turn 27 that this card can be used twice.
"My little brother would usually sacrifice me to this after we stole cookies from the jar as kids"
I've included this card in the deck because of the sheer value you get. By sacrificing one creature, you get two back! Just remember that the creatures enter the battlefield tapped!
Enchantments:
"The concept of extra lives have never been as grim as in the Orzhov Syndicate."
This card's value output varies extremely. Either it sticks around and gives you an ever increasing advantage, or it doesn't do shit. 7 mana is a lot for an enchantment that doesn't affect the board in any way right away. Usually though, this card will be very useful in the late game, constantly reviving threats, both your opponents' and your own.
Take your goddamn medicine!
Our different healing sources and cards with restorative properties.
Creatures:
"Of course he's good at Monopoly. He's a bloodsucking vampire!"
4/4 Lifelink for 5 is decent, but in addition to that, he has protection from the two colours with the most spot removal! Even without havning met the conditions of the second ability, this card is still good. Should you actually be so lucky that someone's at 10 while you're at 30 or higher, the Baron becomes a huge board presence. 10/10 Flying Lifelink is nothing to shit on. Get ready to exploit someone's terrible situation in classic Orzhov fashion!
"A strictly scarier cloud apparition than Mufasa."
Some cards really benefit from the different rules that seperate EDH from other formats. Divinity of Pride is one of those cards. Usually, in a Standard or Modern game where you start with 20 life, you would have to not just prevent life loss, but also somehow gain 5 to get that +4/+4. But in EDH, my friend, this is an 8/8 Flying Lifelink for 5 mana most of the time.
"His own franchise "Hell-o Kitty" rather popular on Zendikar."
This kitty is no joke. I nearly won on turn 4 once. In Commander! I got Sol Ring, Thran Dynamo and this card in my opening hand. I simply played the ring T1, the dynamo on T2 and cast the kitty on T3. Unfortunately he got Chaos Warped before my upkeep. This card is dangerous for your opponents because it can suddenly win you the game, especially in your deck which has buckets of lifegain and reanimation spells.
The game winning ability aside, the kitty is a nice 4/6 body with both Vigilance and Lifelink, which is a nice combination.
"Inequality FTW"
She provides you with an ever increasing advantage. Droplets of honey for you, papercuts for your opponent. This card is very annoying and will sit in the back and cause discomfort. This card screws token decks especially, as their etb triggers are way more numerous than other decks.
Sorceries:
"Just 10 more minutes"
One of the first things you learn as a Magic player is that pure lifegain spells are shit. Don't use them. And that's true! However, I wanted to include one derpy, durdly lifegain spell anyway because I thought it was fun. Furthermore, I enjoy using lesser known cards, and no one in my playgroup had even heard about this card.
The spell itself is pretty simple - "Gain 20 life". It has an extreme Suspend 10 for 1 mana, which enables you to suspend this whenever you draw it. In the super late game, you can even hard cast it if you need the life. One thing to be wary of, though, is that you will become more of a target after suspending this spell, simply because it's obvious that you get a life advantage when Heroes Remembered resolves.
A small part of me wants to replace this card with Invincible Hymn. Tell me what you think in the comments! Also if you have any other reccomendations for a durdly life gain spell, then feel free to tell me!
"Your life essence is the sweetest Cool Aid"
Ok. This card. This f*cking card is a complete blowout in the late game. Fair enough: You need 5 mana to cast it for 1, but think about how much mana you have in the later turns. X can easily become 10 or more! That means that you drain EVERY opponent for 20! If you play against 3 other players, you gain 60 life! If you consider the life swing between you and your opponents, which is 80, then it's even more ridiculous! If you have Vizkopa Guildmage out and can activate her second ability, you most likely just win right there!
Those were the upsides. The downside is that this card requires large amounts of mana to be useful. This can quickly become a dead card if you draw it too early. Still, the upside outweighs the downsides, in my opinion.
The rest of the best
The final cards that round out the deck.
Creatures:
"Your swamps are now swampier!"
Crypt Ghast is a useful addition to any black EDH deck. It doubles the mana output of your swamps which puts you so far in front of the other players. This guy even has Extort which helps you put that extra mana to good use! He will draw out a removal spell from an opponent if they have it, as the advantage you get for simply having him on the board is too much. This card combos magnificently with Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth as it makes all your lands tap for 2 mana!
"He has been Theros' towel whip champion for 3635 consecutive years"
Erebros is a cool guy. Even when he's not a creature, he's an Indestructible Enchantment that denies your opponents life gain and is a worse Night's Whisper on a stick. As a creature he's big and difficult to remove. Just like Crypt Ghast, Erebros is a nice addition to any black Commander deck.
"Gaze in awe at my astral toothpick of destiny!"
His static ability that gives everyone Vigilance is very useful, as it enables you to be offensive without compensating for it in defense. He's a pretty useful mana sink as well, and can shit out 2/1s when you've got nothing better to do with your mana.
"Now everyone can extort! Socialism at work here!"
He gives all your stuff extort, which allows you to maximize the life drain of every single spell you cast. He also has a nice 2/7 body, allowing him to block most creatures that aren't gargantuan.
"Thank you for your donation."
This is a nice bear that can be relevant as soon as it enters the battlefield. Its two ablities gives you more ways to increase your advantage over your opponents and are particularly useful in the midgame, where a lot of trading blows occur. The second ability is really strong and can in some cases win you the game outright, like in combination with Debt to the Deathless.
You can, if it helps you, give an opponent's creature Lifelink. It's a far out situation, but the fact that you have the choice is better than not having it. Some political power never hurts.
Planeswalkers:
"Try to keep her away from Heliod."
Ahh. The original Elspeth! She spawns dudes and gives someone Flying and +3/+3 before making all of your shit Indestructible permanently! The opponent will kill her before she gets to 8 if they can, though. The nice thing about having 2 abilities that increase loyalty is that you will only gain counters, which moves you ever closer to that 8-mark.
"If your swamps were swampier, they're now the swampiest of swamps!"
This version of Liliana is far from the best but does it's job well enough. (Besides, I'm not buying Liliana of the Veil. That shit's not happening.) The +1 ability is useful because it lowers the chance of drawing a Swamp. The -3 is flexible as it doubles up as both a buff and removal.
Should you by some miracle get the ultimate off and obtain the emblem, then you basically just wait for Debt to the Deathless, Death Grasp or a tutor spell that can fetch you either. One thing to note is that Liliana of the Dark Realms cannot protect herself. Her -3 ability kills her off right away when you play her. You therefore need some setting up before you play her.
Sorceries:
"Zombies are unusually skilled demolishion experts."
This card is quite the surprise. While the zombies do enter the battlefield tapped, you get 13 freaking zombies! If you've still got that Suture Priest around, then congratulations! You just got 13 life too! A board prescence that equals a 26/26 creature is nothing to shit on. The zombies provide useful defense as they block anything that doesn't fly. They don't care too much about Trample. This spell also has Flashback which lets you spawn 13 MORE zombies! Just remember that all the tokens enter tapped - they're practically useless before you untap the next turn.
"Basically why I talk to myself all the time. I have 5 skeleton head friends that tell me to search for NSFW things on Google."
Any good Commander deck has a couple of tutor spells if their colours allow it. We're playing black so we're pretty much in the clear. This card fetches you not only one card, no, it fetches you all the cards. Ok, not really, but it allows you to find multiple cards at once.
You quickly save mana by searching for several cards. If you search for one card, it's a shitty 6 mana Diabolic Tutor, but after just 2 cards, you make profit!
"He's famous on YouTube for his video: "Balancing skull on my head for 10 minutes"."
Another tutor spell! Great! That sounded sarcastic, but I'm genuine. When you first cast this, it's a more expensive Diabolic Tutor, but the real benefit comes from the fact that you can Flashback this later and search for 2 more cards! Cards with high value is desired in Commander, and that's what makes this card usually better than Diabolic Tutor in Commander.
Artifacts:
"Gotta go fast!"
Now this is a card that's rather popular and very good in EDH. Its 0 Equip cost means you can give any creature you cast Haste the turn it comes into play. Shroud is also useful for dodging removal spells. Not much more to say about this card. Play it. Love it.
"The flavour text on this card is something to think about before you go and get yourself a tattoo of the Orzhov Syndicate"
Ahh, what is Commander without mana rocks? The signet is very effective because it gives you access to both of your colours and helps you with mana fixing in the early game.
"Small cost, big prescence"
This card is the poster child of EDH as a format. The person who is lucky enough to start with this in their opening hand has a huge advantage over the other players. In fact, you're at a disadvantage by simply not having this in your deck. It's a sad fact, but a fact nonetheless.
"If I love this card, does that make me thransexual? Ok. That was bad. I'm sorry. I'll leave now."
Thran Dynamo provides you with a lot of mana for a mana rock, albeit it's generic mana. It effectively costs 1 mana, but as mentioned, the mana you get back is generic. In the end of the day, the dynamo accelerates you quite a lot mana wise, and is particularly helpful when casting spells with X in their mana costs.
Whenever I decide to make a themed deck, I try to use as many fitting cards as possible. For that reason, some of these cards may seem suboptimal. Still, I really want this deck to succeed while remaining flavourful! If there are any cards you feel I should add or cut, feel free to tell me, preferably with an explanation! :)
