Description

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Oh my Fuck(Pictured: Our opponent after we play a turn one Stone Rain)

Description

Alright, Heisensteins. It's time you get lernt about supply and command. Boom and Busts, denial and error, your opponent better hope they brought some fire retarded cards.
It doesn't take rocket appliances to figure out we're going all in on LAND DESTRUCTUATION.


Deck Breakdown


Key Combos

Magus of the Tabernacle+Ajani Vengeant+ Any Land Destructuation: After we refuckulate the lands all those creatures on the other side of the table are going straight to the big truck stop in the sky.

Crucible of Worlds+Boom: One man's garbage is another man person's good ungarbage.

Bottled Cloister+Ensnaring Bridge: I toad a so, quantrinting everything was a great idea.


Creatures

Avalanche Riders These Hill-A-billies come in, do work, and then make like a tree and fuck off.

Aven Mindcensor You gotta have a search warranty for those fetch lands.

Fulminator Mage They want to play some kind of removal? What comes around is all around.

Magus of the Tabernacle Gotta find a way to break this Mexicali Stand-on, making them pay for their creatures each turn with no lands should do the trick.

Simian Spirit Guide These monkeys are straight outta Indianapolis Jones, chilled brain compartments and brain departments.

Enchantments

Ghostly Prison It's survival of the fitness out there, and everyone knows they've got the best dope in prison.

Artifacts

Bottled Cloister Damn bottle kids keep throwing all my cards away! So distractulating to your opponent they won't be able to attack with...

Ensnaring Bridge The more thinkings I have about it, a link is only as long as your longest strong chain.

Crucible of Worlds Tropical earthquake hit you? This card is a jackpop.

Sorceries

Boom Do onto others as you do onto you, target your Flagstones of Trokair to get a free fetch.

Molten Rain We're gonna roast marsmelons over those burning lands.

Stone Rain Give me a bit of credjudice, this deck can get you stoned while doing some distraction of property.

Instants

Lightning Helix They take three and we gain three, Peach'n'cake.

Planeswalkers

Ajani Vengeant This guy gets two birds stoned at once, tapping down their lands and eventually blowing them all up.

Chandra, Torch of Defiance Looks like we need two turnips and heat, get some free mana, play some spells, ultimate out and beat em' down.


Sideboard

Anger of the Gods Flames are gonna golf this whole table.

Boseiju, Who Shelters All Get passed those counterspells with flying fuckin' carpets.

Defense Grid Hang your horses control decks.

Grafdigger's Cage Stuff gettin' bornt out of the graveyard?

Kor Firewalker You playing against burn? Smartable to throw a few of these guys in the pile.

Nevermore Worst case Ontario, this stops somethin'.

Pithing Needle My minds started racing against each other to figure out a way to shut down activated stuff, came up with this.

Pyroclasm Burn up all those little pork-a-piks and rakins tryin' to give you radies.

Stony Silence Long stories get short, those artifacts thingys are pissin' me off.


If you enjoyed please get on your TV's with the click-clackers, upvote and check out my other Modern decks, The Tumblr Deck: White Girls Getting Triggered and GLOBAL WARMING.

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Updates

Comments

@lexleningrad, you are a funny cunt, deck looks awesome and brutally so.

March 11, 2017 7:05 a.m.

Diogenes says... #2

lol @ " fire retarded cards" Yeah, who needs the retardant ones.

March 13, 2017 12:54 p.m.

Bluefire016 says... #3

I dig it man, right on. +1

March 18, 2017 10:22 a.m.

Voxelfox20 says... #4

great explanation and awesome deck. i'll be saving this one aside :)

March 18, 2017 10:41 a.m.

cmsrDPM says... #5

Panza ain't got nothin' on you.

March 20, 2017 11:18 p.m.

Jmreas says... #6

Gotta get me some of that.. +1

March 22, 2017 10:01 a.m.

Exaggeration says... #7

Nice deck! I was enjoying your deck description!

March 25, 2017 9:28 a.m.

Gleeock says... #8

Gimme some of that Sweet'n'Power Chicken!

April 6, 2017 10:06 p.m.

such a shame you cant deal with Darksteel Citadel.

April 16, 2017 4:29 p.m.

lexleningrad says... #10

ticked-off-squirrel if you run into affinity and can't shut them down with the cards already in the board consider adding Crumble to Dust or Sowing Salt

April 16, 2017 5:07 p.m.

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Compare to inventory
Date added 4 months
Last updated 3 months
Exclude colors UBG
Legality

This deck is Modern legal.

Cards 60
Avg. CMC 3.08
Folders nice decks, Modern Decks, My Favorites, Cool decks, Deck Ideas, neat, Decks I dig, Prison Decks, STD, lolz, See all 14
Top rank #2 on 2017-03-22
Views 2592

Revision 3 (3 months ago)

-1 Pithing Needle side
+1 Crumble to Dust side

See all