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Oh my Fuck(Pictured: Our opponent after we play a turn one Stone Rain) RIP MR LAHEY


Alright, Heisensteins. It's time you get lernt about supply and command. Boom and Busts, denial and error, your opponent better hope they brought some fire retarded cards.
It doesn't take rocket appliances to figure out we're going all in on LAND DESTRUCTUATION.

Deck Breakdown

Key Combos

Magus of the Tabernacle+Ajani Vengeant+ Any Land Destructuation: After we refuckulate the lands all those creatures on the other side of the table are going straight to the big truck stop in the sky.

Crucible of Worlds+Boom: One man's garbage is another man person's good ungarbage.

Bottled Cloister+Ensnaring Bridge: I toad a so, quantrinting everything was a great idea.


Avalanche Riders These Hill-A-billies come in, do work, and then make like a tree and fuck off.

Aven Mindcensor You gotta have a search warranty for those fetch lands.

Fulminator Mage They want to play some kind of removal? What comes around is all around.

Magus of the Tabernacle Gotta find a way to break this Mexicali Stand-on, making them pay for their creatures each turn with no lands should do the trick.

Simian Spirit Guide These monkeys are straight outta Indianapolis Jones, chilled brain compartments and brain departments.


Ghostly Prison It's survival of the fitness out there, and everyone knows they've got the best dope in prison.


Bottled Cloister Damn bottle kids keep throwing all my cards away! So distractulating to your opponent they won't be able to attack with...

Ensnaring Bridge The more thinkings I have about it, a link is only as long as your longest strong chain.

Crucible of Worlds Tropical earthquake hit you? This card is a jackpop.


Boom Do onto others as you do onto you, target your Flagstones of Trokair to get a free fetch.

Molten Rain We're gonna roast marsmelons over those burning lands.

Stone Rain Give me a bit of credjudice, this deck can get you stoned while doing some distraction of property.


Lightning Helix They take three and we gain three, Peach'n'cake.


Ajani Vengeant This guy gets two birds stoned at once, tapping down their lands and eventually blowing them all up.

Chandra, Torch of Defiance Looks like we need two turnips and heat, get some free mana, play some spells, ultimate out and beat em' down.


Anger of the Gods Flames are gonna golf this whole table.

Boseiju, Who Shelters All Get passed those counterspells with flying fuckin' carpets.

Defense Grid Hang your horses control decks.

Grafdigger's Cage Stuff gettin' bornt out of the graveyard?

Kor Firewalker You playing against burn? Smartable to throw a few of these guys in the pile.

Nevermore Worst case Ontario, this stops somethin'.

Pithing Needle My minds started racing against each other to figure out a way to shut down activated stuff, came up with this.

Pyroclasm Burn up all those little pork-a-piks and rakins tryin' to give you radies.

Stony Silence Long stories get short, those artifacts thingys are pissin' me off.

If you enjoyed please get on your TV's with the click-clackers, hop on the Patrick Swayze Express, upvote and check out my other Modern decks:
GET PUCKED: 5/5 Indestructible Hockey Pucks
Modern: Bigger Blacker and Uncut
The Tumblr Deck: White Girls Getting Triggered



Updates Add


91% Casual


Top Ranked
  • Achieved #2 position overall 2 years ago
Date added 2 years
Last updated 1 year
Exclude colors UBG

This deck is Modern legal.

Cards 60
Avg. CMC 3.08
Tokens Chandra
Folders nice decks, Modern Decks, My Favorites, Cool decks, neat, Decks I dig, Prison Decks, STD, lolz, Fun, See all 14
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Revision 2 See all

2 years ago)

-1 Pithing Needle side
+1 Crumble to Dust side