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So Grim, Syr (Now with Vorthos Primer?!)

Commander / EDH Combo Competitive Jank Mill Mono-Black Reanimator

Regoober

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Well, he wasn't always so Grim... He was a pretty happy boy until he had a tragic Morality Shift . But that's a boring story for some later prequel. Konrad became obsessed with immortality--but not really. He was more interested in things dying and coming back. Necromancy , You say? Well yes, and no. The Knight lived a Tortured Existence because he kept having a Recurring Nightmare about a sweet combo, but since that was banned in his format, he set out to find a replacement. I imagine he had plans for supreme power. Konrad planed to use his dark magic Tim powers to bend others to his will, but also wanted to be a vampire ? It's hard to tell, since he milled himself out as a child. (Note: He promptly followed it up with a Footbottom Feast during his upkeep to close out his prepubescence with a solid victory)

He enlisted a Pair of Demons to help him get find the right cards. A They traveled from Altar to Altar and from Crypt to Crypt . Occasionally, they would stop at a Tomb as well, but the "or more" clause left them disheartened. Along they way, they cut through an Army of the Damned for better curve cards and Grisly Spectacle s as targeted removal was counter productive. Konrad had trepidation about his about his Trepanation Blade until it hit really hard one time and he kept it in. The Whole time they Traveled, Konrad Spent every morning staring into his Mesmeric Orb and every afternoon winding down his Perpetual Timepiece . He always wondered if his Increasing Ambition would cost too much, or if the value was there late game.

This is where I come in. I am a seasoned planeswalker who's deck building is known to be both humorous and cunningly powerful. My net-decking is balanced by my love of old card interactions and strange new lines of play. I had just got off the Golgari train, waiving fairwell to The Gitrog Monster --it was drying up even though it reined with the Paradox Engine decks... It was just too hard to explain to people HOW they were losing...and the same combos every single tiiiime! I digress. Off the Golgari Train and having had built ,,, and Mono-colored commander decks, who do I spy but Konrad in the Black Market arguing with none other than Endrek Sahr over the mana refund on Thrulls.

"These are not Eldrazi Scions, bub," Sahr Sneered.

"But if you know the right gal , they're twice as good!" Syr Konrad retorted.

I intervened, sensing that Konrad's magic was something special. He was looking to hire Sorin Markov to help him travel the planes, but Sorin was too expensive for a goofy Vorthos combo deck. I happily said I would help him find his combo pieces through the Blind Eternities if he promised to be the commander to my army when I was feeling like reanimator on steroids. Konrad had something he wanted to abuse and the black mana directed me to abuse him to get the job done. Que Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams(are Made of This) With that, I exiled his Timepiece , shuffled us up and killed all the other players in the vicinity.

I knew just the entities to visit. Along with Endrek , I Hired Massacre Girl because we needed at least one more board wipe and a Sewer Nemesis that stays latched to my head while I think... Konrad tells me it helps him concentrate. He also tells me to ABM ( Always Be Mezzing )which is great unless facing down a scarier graveyard army. First we traveled to Tarkir where we convinced Sidisi, Undead Vizier to be our Vizier instead of Dragonlord Silumgar 's. With her able to fetch combo pieces, (and easy to Reanimate ), we were on to the next!

We then went to New Phyrexia where Geth, Lord of the Vault met us with open arms. We refused the hug, but he joined us anyway... he may be too clunky for the final build, but he was a good segue to a truly important find: Geth showed us the Beasts and Artifice of the Swamps of Nin. The Mantle particularly pleased Konrad, as I explored the many Non-bos with the Devourer.

Next Stop was Innistrad where I greatly wanted to avoid Gisa and Geralf who would try to take My new commander and put him in their ranks. Sure, blue has counters and better mill options, but who would want to be one of the 99 when you can be the commander? We were there for two things: One, to hire the value engine named Mikaeus and Two, to find a Gravecrawler as they have nearly limitless zombie crawling energy. With the Phyrexian Altar we already discovered, we had our first Combo: Gravecrawler + Phyrexian Altar + Any Zombie would allow Bad Boy Konnie to decimate other planes walkers. You'll notice that I purposefully never told Konrad about Triskellion. A fair point, but Frogger had laid that one to rest a hundred times to the groaning of all, including myself. It was time to do things with a bit more flare (flair? I never know which one to use).

Having Pope Zombie along for the ride opened a lot of doors, but the only one that seemed really great to me was my old friend Puppeteer Clique , who I resurrected from the bad rares box for not being Vendilion enough. Combo #2: Mikaeus, the Unhallowed + Puppeteer Clique + Any place to do Sacrifice . Though as I write this I think I may need some creatures to do it for me...

We traversed some other planes to gather various synergy pieces... so many there were! Zendikar provided ramp AND creatures while others provided draw off the deaths we had preplanned. A gravepact or similar effect should definitely be made some day, but for now, we remained somewhat kind in our dominion over other's board state. I also knew how much Konrad loved vampires, so I grabbed a Bloodchief Ascension as a little surprise if he ever made it there. I also found a Mindcrank in a random pile of MM chaff. It may replace Mesmeric Orb late game as my preferred mill search. (Also Combo #3:Bloodchief Ascension + Mindcrank will kill everyone without Konrad, but it's a moon-shot)

It was here that I remembered (for sake of story) The short-lived experiment that was my supposed mono-black commander. He was full hype, with similarly outrageous plays, but no matter how I tried to build him, he came out black-good-stuff. He would fit perfectly in this deck and he was well versed in the ways of combo, so we traveled to Dominaria to a time when Kerrick was still alive. Another Phyrexian to avoid hugging. He was quite the wheeler-and-dealer in those time-rift days, so I played it cool:

"I want your best Black Staples and some Unassuming Jank Combos"

K'rrik replied with a grind and a hiss: "Have you considered the newly vacated Bolas's Citadel ? It may help with your garbage land base and precarious draw engines. Necropotence is a staple for the latter issue as well."

"I'll take both," I frowned, "but you don't have to be so hurtful about it."

"Due to Necropotence being old, I get two triggers off discarding creatures and then exiling them" Konrad whispered to me as we bumped knuckles under the table.

"Back to the matter at hand," I said, "I want you in my 99 and I want something goofy to be the point of all of this."

To which the Son of Yawgmoth only replied with an enormous, pointy grin. He lead us down a Tombstone Stairwell and I replied "Sweet late-game closer!"

To which Kerrick offered, "If you like that, can I interest you in an Inverter of Truth ?"

"Isn't that pretty bad to draw early?"

"You asked me for Jank combos--I just saw some synergy."

"Fair."

We continued on, narrowly missing falling victim to the Ritual of the Machine for flavor wins and Sadistic Hypnotist for more interaction. We did pick up Phyrexian Scriptures , as Kerrick is obligated/programmed to talk about his "religion" if he spends more than an hour with you.. It also seems to do everything we want to do and NOT kill our own graveyard. Also, I like the art.

Finally, we arrived. There sat the two Jankyest mofos I ever laid eyes on, playing MtG at an Altar . I almost slapped K'rrik , but I didn't, 'cuz, you know: Spikey . But I had to say something: "You know I'm all for Urza's block uncommons, but this is ridiculous! I might as well add some Swamp s to my territory or a Dark Ritual if I wanted ramp, Isn't that right Konrad?"

But Konrad was silent. He stared at the Jank creatures intently. He had an Idea.

Can you guess the Creatures that make the central theme to this deck? Show

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Casual

91% Competitive