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YAY Top rank #4 on 2017-06-19 THANK YOU, FELLOW DOUCHEBAGS!

The idea behind this crime against humanity of a deck is simple: Turn the simple act of spellcasting into an agonizing, Sisyphean nightmare.

Enchant your victim's lands as much as possible with Pooling Venom and Contaminated Ground. Since Psychic Venom isn't modern legal, you will need to Copy Enchantment your existing enchanments until you've locked up their mana. Evil Presence serves well as an early game disruption to their pool, but can be sideboarded in favor of Sea's Claim against certain decks. Muddle the Mixture is a good counter that can also tutor your enchantments.

Once you have turned the act of tapping lands for mana into an excruciating ordeal, you will want to control their plays tightly by forcing them to have to pay for their spells over and over again (LOL).

Vapor Snag is a good tool for this, while Boomerang is good against other permanents, especially any lands which might have escaped your special touch. Mark of Eviction is not only cheap and reusable, but also hilariously demoralizing because it keeps the creature on the battlefield long enough for your opponent to fully pass through all six stages of grief, including anger, denial, bargaining and finally acceptance that the Life Points sacrificed to summon it will be all be flushed down the toilet before summoning sickness ends. Oh, and then Mark of Eviction returns to your hand so you can do it all over again!

Remand is a great counter that makes your opponent pay for his or her spells again, and providing draw power.

Eventually, your opponents will stop hurting themselves, and then you must take matters into your own hands. Icy Manipulator is a good option for force-tapping poisoned lands, and if you draw one early game, it might be prudent to stack your enchantments on a single land. Another good strategy is to cipher Hidden Strings onto an Invisible Stalker, which usually puts your opponent out of their misery quickly.

Any improvements/suggestions are greatly appreciated!



Hjaltrohir says... #1

Surely Spreading Seas suits your game-plan here? Constricting mana and cycling through your deck? interesting deck idea for sure

June 4, 2017 3:23 a.m.

Haha, that's hilarious! And draw power gets more poison out.

June 4, 2017 2:17 p.m.

Naksu says... #3

Such douchebaggery! I like it.

June 5, 2017 5:24 a.m.

thewrush says... #4

Singing Bell Strike Taps the creature almost permanently and they have to use mana to untap it. Might work better than Mark of Eviction

June 5, 2017 2:47 p.m.

Singing Bell Strike would indeed lock down creatures more tightly, and I like the fact they would have to tap mana to untap them. The main reason I put in Mark of Eviction is to make the other player pay for their creatures over and over again. I think there's some good synergy between the two, as Mark of Eviction will allow you to reuse Singing Bell Strike as well. Interesting for sure.

June 5, 2017 2:53 p.m.

cmsrDPM says... #6

You are doing great work here. I am curious of any ideas for a side board. I mean I worry if you were playing Grixis or Mono-Black and just floundered.

June 13, 2017 7:44 p.m.

This deck is amazing and you should feel amazing.

If anything, +1 for your username alone.

June 13, 2017 7:58 p.m.

Lol I'm honored haha

If only I knew what to do for a sideboard

June 13, 2017 8:21 p.m.

Sea's Claim and Spreading Seas could make good sideboard cards against black, which doesn't really care about having its lands turned to swamps. Corrupted Roots could be sideboarded as additional land enchants, or cheaper land enchants against certain decks.

You could also just consider a handful of swampwalkers, they would also counter black, and could even be used alongside Evil Presence or Contaminated Ground. Quag Vampires are nice.

June 13, 2017 8:41 p.m.

I never thought about swampwalk. Or islandwalk for that matter. Makes me think of the old Seasinger shenanigans.

June 13, 2017 9:48 p.m.

Saintaro says... #11

I used a deck similar to this on my kitchen table a little while ago. Good to see I'm not the only asshole out there. Great minds think alike. +1 for sure. For a sideboard might I suggest Corrupted Roots should they run plains or forests. Mana Web is also a nice way to force them to tap their lands, especially when used with Pendrell Mists. I found Fatestitcher to be more reliable than Icy Manipulator. I would suggest Psychic Venom over Copy Enchantment for another poison for cheaper. Mana Short is always a nice finisher after you've posioned their lands.

June 14, 2017 6:22 p.m.

Saintaro the deck is Modern, where Mana Web, Psychic Venom, and Mana Short are unfortunately not available options.

Fatestitcher vs Icy Manipulator really depends on your local meta imo. If it's really spot removal heavy, Manipulator may be better, otherwise I'd agree that Fatestitcher is fantastic.

June 14, 2017 6:49 p.m.

I actually had a non modern-legal version of this deck that used those. It really makes me wish they would reprint Psychic Venom and add it to modern. It heavily relied on Mana Short, Drain Power, and Power Sink. It was glorious.

June 14, 2017 6:56 p.m.

JKRice says... #14

I hate this deck. +1 >:(

June 16, 2017 1:33 p.m.

mocow says... #15

Hey, this is an awesome idea for a deck! I liked this deck so much I decided to create a nun-budget decklist that I will be playing at local modern events! All credit to you Yolo_Von_Bieberswag

June 17, 2017 1:05 a.m.

That's awesome! Definitely let me know how it performs!

June 17, 2017 5:04 a.m.

shelob144 says... #17

You should try Early Frost in the list, it's almost a Time Warp in modern and it will get the triggers from Contaminated Ground

June 17, 2017 1:06 p.m.
July 2, 2017 3:55 p.m.

itachi45 says... #19

Hahahahahahahaha. +1

July 7, 2017 2:53 p.m.

dthoreson813 says... #20


August 6, 2017 7:25 p.m.

RudeCanadian says... #21

Ever consider adding Chasm Skulker? It's a 3 costing 1/1 creature that gains +1/+1 tokens when you draw cards and spits out X 1/1 squids with islandwalk (where X is the number of +1/+1 counters on it) when it dies. What's not to love?

August 26, 2017 3:14 a.m.

broj5870 says... #22

just here to say i like it. nice deck brotha.

September 13, 2017 1:08 a.m.

kyrow says... #23

Nice deck man. Douchebag POWAA! +1

September 13, 2017 1:11 a.m.

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Compare to inventory

Revision 2 See all

6 months ago)

+1 Hidden Strings main
+4 Copy Enchantment main
+4 Sunken Hollow main
+2 Evil Presence main
+4 Mark of Eviction main
-4 Dimir Guildgate main
+2 Remand main
-2 Doom Blade main
-2 Blight main
-4 Snap main
-4 Psychic Venom main
-4 Frost Marsh main
+3 Vapor Snag main
-4 Power Sink main
+2 Muddle the Mixture main
-2 Unsummon main
+4 Drowned Catacomb main
-2 Blight side
-2 Hidden Strings side
-3 Wall of Frost side
and 22 other change(s)