This is a casual, low budget
Jarad, Golgari Lich Lord deck with
Umori, the Collector as companion. To meet Umori’s requirement, all nonland cards in this deck are creatures.
Basic Strategy
Ramp. Early game, mana dorks speed the deck up, and the best ones end up in your graveyard. Most creatures benefit from Umori’s ability.
Fill the Graveyard. To get a lot of creatures in the graveyard, the deck runs milling and dredging effects.
Beaters. Smash face with bloated Lhurgoyfs and similar creatures.
Finisher. Use Jarad’s sacrifice ability on creatures with a high power to deal a ton of damage to all opponents.
Lord and Ladies,
Jarad vod Savo lives.
The terrible Golgari serpent shed his second skin, and thrives in undeath once again.
He slithers through vast bogs, amid submerged bodies of war victims. In his coils he holds devotees who crave a change, in life or unlife. With split tongue, Jarad proclaims his gospel of the ‘Old Ways’, and holds fools in his sway. Like a snake that charms the piper, he is a lich who teaches rules of life. In time, he shall shed this scaly mask, too; then folly followers will read death upon his face.
Jarad’s cult stands as a hollow oak, with crooked branches bearing brown leaves. Of those, a lucky few will scatter in the wind, but most await oblivion, beyond life, beyond undeath. For the tree’s bark hides a void in its trunk, into which the whole oak shall collapse. Only the dark, snaking roots, buried under black soil, can survive as the tree devours itself.
The vital bark hides the rot at its core, not only from outsiders’ glancing eyes, but from the leaf-bearing branches, too.
This scout did not glance, but peered and – horrified – learned Jarad’s full ambition and desire.
The list above depicts this oak, but not the details of its intertwining branches. This writing lays plain the cult’s boughs long and short, its knots and its intergrowths.
Presented herein are the schemes of Jarad’s cult of the Old Ways, which culminate in the final sacrifice desired by the Lich Lord. Within his cult, only he is privy to its true design. But what the master hides from his minions, this spying scout still uncovers.
And a third now holds Jarad’s secrets in potentia – you, as keeper of this document.
Tree of the Old Ways
This is the structure of the cult Jarad, Golgari Lich Lord commands.
Brown Leaves
The bulk of Jarad’s flock consists of misfits and deranged abominations, unwanted elsewhere. Bought with false promises and twisted visions, they are as cheap as the dirt beneath your feet.
But like dirt, the lich’s maniacs can support an army.
All will give their life to further their lord’s plans. And as some die, others grow in power; and as some grow in power, Jarad prepares their final sacrifice. So goes his spiral of death.
Knots
A few allies of the Lich Lord did not flutter to him like cheap cardboard in the wind. While no disproportional investments from Jarad were required to draft them, they’re more worthy than Brown Leaf cultists.
These two: Underrealm Lich, and World Shaper were not deceived by the words of the Old Ways. I believe they do lack full understanding of the Lich Lord’s plans, though. They play a significant role in Jarad’s drama, deliver their lines with vigor, but fail to grasp the deeper meaning present.
The Hollow Trunk
One riddle remains: the living sludge Umori, the Collector. It is as impossible to pin down this fluid being as it is to pin down its reasons for joining the cult.
However, its influence cannot be overstated. Without Umori, the cult would either not exist at all, or would have taken on a very different guise.
Snaking Roots
None bar Jarad know of the ultimate sacrifice he expects his whole cult to make. The void that will devour his minions is his secret alone.
Dogma of the Old Ways
In the dreary wetlands, where wars were fought but never won, the Lich Lord preaches a return to the Old Ways. This scout views Jarad’s Old Ways as a winding and convoluted maze, designed to trap followers. To understand his doctrine is to understand both madness and reason; for there is reason to Jarad’s mad teachings, and the mad followers find all reason they look for. The Lich Lord feeds his flock poisoned words, but the gaggle chews on his message long enough to taste only that which their desire savors.
There are many aspects to the Old Ways, but all elements deal with the flesh; the flesh of the living, the dead, and the undead alike.
To summarize a maze with a void at its core is like eulogizing a newborn. I shall not descend into madness, but shred the lunacy to hand over fragments. These are snippets of Jarad’s Old Ways creed:
Eat and be eaten; the weak and the dead will feed the strong; nothing will go to waste. All flesh shall be devoured: to do otherwise is to disgrace and forsake life. Adapt and survive, or die and survive – merge with the congregation either in life or in death.
Endeavors
It is easier to chronicle Jarad’s practical directions, than explain his philosophical teachings.
Hidden away in the swamp, his minions toil. Crawling around in the murky waters, like maggots infesting a corpse, the cultists find sustenance in death. They bring up rotting remains of those who fell victim to the wars, or to any other danger in the disease-ridden, treacherous terrain. The cultists haul the dead to Jarad’s temple-tomb, to stock the larder.
The cadavers attract and feed the undead, who are most welcome among the Lich Lord’s adherents. It’s just a tiny spark of life that guides these fat gourmands. Their purpose in unlife is to gorge themselves. They are the obedient bulk, if not the muscle, of Jarad’s army, fed with nothing but garbage.
The Lich Lord employs his most wily cretins to hunt outside the bogs, to supply him with fresher bodies. Although alive or surviving in undeath, these recruits tend to be half-brained, too.
Branches
Below, each part of the cult is presented with intertwining details.
Drawing and Quartering
These wily recruiters vigilantly search for fresh bodies – both undead and alive. They come armed with tongues as quick as a viper’s, complemented by poisonous words and death-gripping fangs. They draw in fools and feebleminded abominations alike.
In its role as quartermaster, Umari welcomes recruits, who soon become beguiled by the rhetoric of the Old Ways, and made wholly dependent on the cult.
Besides those listed under Drawing and Quartering, a few more cultists act as sporadic recruiters. With the exception of the enigmatic
Underrealm Lich, these thralls are oft unaware they spread the Lich Lord’s propaganda. Those who propagate the cult’s credo include
Acolyte of Affliction,
Clackbridge Troll, and
Golgari Findbroker.
Genesis plays a different, nefarious role. The strange being restores life, but in doing so, ensures more death. Genesis draws from the deceased, lining them up like barrels of fuel to feed the Lich Lord’s macabre machine again and again.
Rampant Zeal
Some of these Brown Leaves are Jarad’s most demented cultists, who sacrifice themselves willingly to bring power to their lord. Others slowly wither away, feeding their master with their own spirit.
The one responsible for gathering the flock is Jarad’s vile companion, the aforementioned quartermaster, Umori, the Collector. The creature acts as catalyst for all but the Lich Lord himself and – paradoxically – a few of his weakest minions.
Dredging and Milling the Dead
While the Lich Lord’s followers refer to his dwelling and the encompassing grounds as a temple, this scout would sooner speak of a rot farm.
When departing Jarad’s dwelling, the murky woodlands surrounding his holdings seemed an unspoiled paradise, although it proved impossible to escape his reek completely. The memories of the lich’s terrible operation follow me like swamp mosquitos, unexpectedly stinging me during the day, haunting me at night, and breeding fear of a fatal ailment.
The cultist dredge the land and mill the valuable fuel found therein, as part of the Old Ways. They drag waterlogged bodies to the larders, or to bone-mills that grind remains into gruel. The carcasses feed Jarad’s army of bloated abominations. Any who die working the deadly marshes suffer the same faith.
Colossal Gluttons
Although there are a few – highly dangerous – exceptions, most of these beings bow to the Lich Lord for one reason only: their master feeds them. The revolting gluttons gleefully massacre Jarad’s enemies, until they encounter a foe more powerful than themselves and end up feeding their brothers in arms.
None suspect their ultimate purpose in the Lich Lord’s plans.
This scout can only guess at the dark magic involved, but testifies truthfully:
Svogthos, the Restless Tomb is a living entity. The land itself rises up to defend its master.
Bodyguards
In the cult of the Old Ways, the word bodyguard mocks its normal meaning, with more literal connotations. Jarad exploits this part of his organization as he does the rest. Typically used to protect their master or his companion, the Lich Lord also orders his bodyguards to protect other minions, if he wants to save a useful tool now and sacrifice it later.
Although not as effective as Genesis, or single-minded like the Golgari Findbroker, these two can also bring back the dead from an untimely demise:
Acolyte of Affliction and
Nyx Weaver.
Slaughter and Smash
While the entire cult is capable of bloodshed, a few individuals particularly delight in carnage and gore.
Final Price
The Lich Lord builds an army to spread the gospel of the Old Ways, or so the cultists believe. They feed the gluttons at the rot farm, so these gain the strength needed to squash opposing forces. Jarad’s forces shall conquer, either through annexation, or through bloodshed and destruction. All will become part of the Old Ways: joining in life or merging with the cult through death.
Following this strategy, Jarad has his entire cult marching towards their ultimate purpose. For when his troops grow tired, and enemies close in on all sides, the Lich Lord’s final plan awaits them.
At this juncture, Jarad plots to drain his bloated puppets from all power. As he fed them with decay, decay they must feed. Their bodies must fuel their master’s torrent of blight, that leaves none bar the Lich Lord standing.
Strengths and Weaknesses of the Lich
How does one battle fodder?
Slaughterhouse
For Jarad’s army, a battlefield is not a place where anyone can truly die. The cult absorbs the fallen. Where one dies, another grows.
This is the lich’s biggest strength.
Killing the heads
While attempting to kill the lich permanently is futile, destroying him temporarily weakens the undead menace. However, the power he draws from the land and his cultists allows him to recover and to retaliate quickly.
Umori, the Collector is not required to run the operation, but Jarad’s companion is important. Those listed as Bodyguards can protect Umori, or bring the creature back to the living if it is killed.
A Cleansing Fire
It is more prudent to strike at the heart of the cult.
While Jarad’s army can largely ignores its losses – and often grows stronger when weak pawns die – this revolting feature is also its main weakness. More than anything, the Lich Lord requires stocked larders to feed his abominations. Destruction of the mound of rotting flesh with a well placed attack can demoralize Jarad’s forces. It will severely hamper his plans in both the short and long term.
But beware: a few of the Lich Lord’s hulking followers don’t rely on the pile of carrion for food.
Temporary Goals
Jarad’s eyeless sockets constantly gaze at new possibilities to increase his power.
It is obvious he plans to move his seat of power from the Foul Orchard he currently inhabits to a more suitable Command Tower.
Perhaps less apparent is his desire to recruit certain specific individuals. I shall provide you the names I dug up through perilous spy-work: Lord of Extinction, Phyrexian Devourer, and Stitcher's Supplier.
Jarad considers these sensible additions to his cult. They will come at a cost, but it’s a cost the Lich Lord might not deem too high.
It’s easy to see why he would rather have these carry his rotting banner than Clackbridge Troll, Morgue Thrull, or Returned Centaur.
However, none are vital to the lich’s plans.
He might proceed without them, and obliterate his opponents with his current cheap flock.
This scout’s report finishes on a dreary note of urgency. I deem Jarad, Golgari Lich Lord a real threat. Without suitable countermeasures, his plans might very well succeed.
Yours, the humble scout,
Vagabond
