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It's raining men, HALLELUJAH!

Commander / EDH*

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THE SHIRTLESS MEN TRIBAL DECK OF BADASSERY

All nonland cards in this deck depict a shirtless man somewhere in the artwork.

I focused mainly on human looking creatures as an extra challenge for myself. Definitely helped narrow down the list of candidates. Includes humans, vampires, pirates, orcs, and some other creature types.

Well, I wanted to add those colors, but I couldn't find a way to add it with the rest. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are a lot of shirtless men in green and blue (Garruk is sexy as hell ngl, and I think Jace would look nice without a shirt), but I wanted more colors for more options. Who knows, I might make a U/G version of this down the road.
Merfolk felt too easy (they live in the water ffs, of course they're going to be shirtless), demons, while very attractive, also felt a little too easy. Almost all demons are male and shirtless, and they're not quite as human looking as I would like them to be. Zombies (or just undead in general) are not only too easy because of their deteriorating clothes, but they are also decaying. That's beyond shirtless, and I'm not into that (no judgment, you do you fam).
Crook of Condemnation: There are nipples and enough chest showing imo to include this.

Phyrexian Arena: In the middle of the card a little to the left, that man is shirtless.

Savage Beating: Okay I admit this one is kind of a stretch. I am still not sure whether to count this as human or not. Reminded me of Koth to an extent which was my reasoning for its inclusion, but I might replace it.

Reckless Spite: That viking is a sexy mofo, but isn't showing a lot of chest. Might remove it.

Relentless Assault: Nip slip if you look at the guy on the left (some skin as well). I think that's enough...?

Bearer of the Heavens: He wears a little loin cloth, so unlike all the other common rock people/golems, he has some decency. This also means he has no shirt on, so by definition, he is shirtless.

Colossus of Akros: I know he's not a living, fleshy creature, but dayum he is toned af.

The expected gameplan is to beat ass and flex. This is a casual af deck, and I also haven't really playtested it at all. I will update accordingly, but don't expect to win with this.

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After some discussion, I've decided to ID check Young Pyromancer and found out he's underage. Didn't have to call security though, since the other men gave him the "I'll beat the shit out of you" eyes and made him run like hell. Instead, we got ourselves a new member, Archetype of Aggression !

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Date added 2 weeks
Last updated 1 week
Legality

This deck is Commander / EDH legal.

Cards 100
Avg. CMC 3.11
Tokens Gold, None Treasure, None Copy Clone, Monarch, 2/2 Pirate
Folders Ideas, Decks that impressed me, Favorite Jank, Uncategorized, Bookmarks, Favorite Decks
Top rank #1 on 2019-01-07
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Revision 3 See all

1 week ago)

+1 Archetype of Aggression main
-1 Young Pyromancer main