Creature (15)
- 4x Anointer Priest
- 4x Crested Sunmare
- 3x Gifted Aetherborn
- 2x Mavren Fein, Dusk Apostle
- 2x Sanctum Seeker
Sorcery (7)
Enchantment (13)
Instant (3)
Sideboard
Enchantment (9)
Instant (3)
Creature (2)
Maybeboard
Creature (3)
Artifact (1)
Enchantment (2)
Instant (1)
So you wanna play some Magic?
Boy, you need to know what you're gonna be dealing with because hooo boy, it's bad.
Are you sure you want to do this?
'cause this deck's coming at you like a VAMP HORSE.
ARE YOU READY FOR READY FOR...
THE PERFECT DECK PERFECT DECK...
'CAUSE ONCE YOU PLAY ONCE YOU PLAY...
THERE'S NO CONCEDING THAT'S A CHEAP COP-OUT GET YOUR BUTT BACK TO THIS TABLE RIGHT NOW.
..... Umm, ahem. So uh, this is a deck... you already know that, but whatever.
Vamp horses! I opened a pack of Hour of Devastation, and got a Crested Sunmare, and was super stoked. I really wanted to do something with it, but this was just before spoiler season of Ixalan, and BFZ and SOI were rotating out, so I decided to hold off until the new set dropped.
And Ixalan gave us a tribe that I think works tremendously with our Lord and Savior Horsey McHorsersen.
Vampires.
The life synergy with these guys is tremendous, and we all know that Horsey McHorsersen loves life. And not death. Death is bad. So, we're gonna go wide with some vampire tokens, and some really funny synergies that lead to a top-of-the-curve Horsey, which leads to more tokens, which leads to "u r dehd". Let's move on to the cards and why they're there!
MAINBOARD
Who would win in a fight, Gearhulks and Bolas, or one Horsey boi? Obviously our boi. This guy is the means to success in our deck. Once online, he makes fat bois with indestructibility, making them super hard to remove. A true finisher, and he should drop a horsey boi for you every turn, maybe more with our NEXT CARD...
Bruh. We're running tokens. Of course we're running this bad boi. Especially with some vampire token generators, we could potentially drop SIX blood-sucking bois in one card! VALUE.
With this healing boi on the field, it won't be hard getting those gnarly Sunmare triggers. She also keeps us afloat in the early game, and can come back later to cause more problems for those STUPIDCONTROLPLAYERSSCREWTHOSEGUYSSERIOUSLY.
One of our nice one-drop bois. Can give us that early lifegain, and can later turn into a fortress of blood-sucking bois. Pretty dang gucci.
That drain-on-a-stick boi. He's pretty dang sweet to drop the turn before Horsey McHorsersen, and can provide serious upside with our go wide approach.
Legendary boi that makes more blood-sucking bois when other blood-sucking bois attack the opponent boi. SO MANY BOIS.
Our Hordeling Outburst. Gets pretty dang bananas with the Procession on the field, and can really swing boards around.
Our Dragon Fodder. Same reasoning as the boi directly above. Man, why did they up the CMC and make them sorceries? It's a sad day in Magic land.
Our way of saying "sir please" to some pretty annoying decks running around right now. Pretty dang funny against the tribes out there, and can trigger Horsey McHorsersen late game. Lovin' it.
Have any pesky bois you want to kill? This kill boi is your new friend. He lets you kill fat bois, and lets you scry. And we all know how useful scrying is.
Because you can't have a lifelink deck without this boi. Provides an awesome stall early game and gives you enough time to pull into late game finishers.
Because you can't have a white deck without this removal boi. This is actually extremely important, as this can take out gods, and other big guys that can really throw us off kilter. One of the only 4-ofs in the deck.
There's your dank memeboard bois. But we're not done yet. We still have our dank sideboard to fill in. This is where it gets juicy... sort of...
SIDEBOARD
SCREW YOU TORRENTIAL GEARHULK.
In case you run into some planeswalking bois. The best part is that this triggers Horsey McHorsersen. :)
That dank specific "get out of my life" boi. Pretty effective against anything.
Because screw you Constrictor.
This can be really good against slower decks, or dinosaurs. You can drop a big creature they control, gain a butt ton of life, and have a menacing boi. Good tradez.
As a one-of, and our last boi in the sideboard, we have Crocoboi. This can not only cause life triggers, but it's big, easy to turn on from our tiny bois, and gives some sweet card advantage.
And there you have it. Katy Perry would be proud, right...... right...?
Anyways, shoot this deck a thumbs-up. I am considering adding a few other cards, and those would be in the maybeboard. If you would like to help me consider some of those cards, feel free! I'm always looking to improve!
Thanks for torturing yourself and somehow getting to the end of this description. I apologize sincerely for the amount of "bois" I threw around. I'm in a particularly meme-y mood today.
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| Date added | 6 years |
| Last updated | 6 years |
| Legality | This deck is not Standard legal. |
| Rarity (main - side) | 4 - 2 Mythic Rares 17 - 12 Rares 13 - 0 Uncommons 8 - 0 Commons |
| Cards | 60 |
| Avg. CMC | 3.03 |
| Tokens | Anointer Priest 1/3 W, Horse 5/5 W, Vampire 1/1 W |
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