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How to lose a friend by turn 5



Score: 103


Well too bad, I'm gonna use it anyway.

Torpor Orb Casual Deck

Does anyone remember phyrexian dreadnought/eater of days and how CRAPPY it was for its drawback? Well, worry no more!!! Does anyone remember this card called Torpor Orb?

That's right, you can cast a 1 mana with 12/12 and trample on turn 1 at its earliest and F*CK THE OPPONENT OVER!!! (Summon a swamp, dark ritual, torpor orb and phyrexian dreadnaught)

Have fun!!!!

This deck wins on turn 4 on average or turn 2 at its earliest (Get out phyrexian dreadnaught using the method mentioned above, use phyresis on it turn 2, then attack)

This deck is designed more for douchebaggery and assholity.

1kashani says...


So this should definitely be titled "How to lose a friend by turn 5." Hahahaha +1!

February 26, 2013 9:29 p.m.

Apoptosis says...


Nice combo!

February 26, 2013 10:16 p.m.

EdgarGrim says...


This is one of those deck friends don't let friends make.

February 27, 2013 10:01 p.m.

Alizer313 says...


You could definitely get by on 20 land or less. In it's place, Lotus Petal could give you more mana faster. +1 for a cool idea.

February 27, 2013 10:02 p.m.

sillywhiteboy says...


Awesome combo, but have you considered Distortion Strike over Artful Dodge? Just a tiny bonus but hey, might as well. Unless the flashback is super important to you, then hey, whatever works.

February 27, 2013 10:04 p.m.

203995014 says...


It was hard to choose. I then realized though that:

1: rebound is only effective if the creatures live to see another day

2: the +1 power isn't that effective (somewhat is on eater of days though)

But I also had to consider:1: artful dodge has flashback

Which did I choose

February 27, 2013 10:12 p.m.

monkinto says...


Why are you running Phyresis over Tainted Strike?

February 28, 2013 9:58 p.m.

203995014 says...


That's because I didn't know about tainted strike until now

February 28, 2013 10:14 p.m.

This deck is even scarrier in legacy lol w/ dark ritual

February 28, 2013 10:34 p.m.

xzzane says...


I like this. I like this a lot. +1 from me.

February 28, 2013 10:43 p.m.

strateupjee says...


I just... this is.... what the HELL...I love it so much... +1 from me man, congrats on winning all things magic

February 28, 2013 10:47 p.m.

hahalolol says...


well what the hell +1

March 2, 2013 8:40 a.m.

Argh! My Face!!!!! If I was running this deck I would never stop laughing, from the moment I drew my hand to the moment the game ended (about four seconds later). +1 for you, you bad, bad person :)

March 2, 2013 8:41 a.m.

why not play Watery Grave instead of Drowned Catacomb? If you turn 1 Darkslick Shores, it'll speed the deck up if the only other land you have in hand is a Watery Grave in substitute of Drowned Catacomb. Regardless, this is super nasty. I'm joining the bandwagon and giving this a +1!

March 3, 2013 10:11 p.m.

+1 for the lols

March 4, 2013 1:34 a.m.

pPAPABURGUNDYq has a point regarding Watery Grave, but nice combo, truly! I built one recently (it's called "Malo") that is trying to squeeze this brand of hate into a Modern format.

4x Demonic Tutor: My favorite part...

March 4, 2013 6:23 p.m.

jasocks says...


+1, you magnificent bastard.

I'm going to go cry in a corner now, let me know when it's all over.

March 6, 2013 1:42 p.m.

Joshuawesome says...


Upon reading the card list and it's functionality, this deck gave my inner nerd a raging boner. A +1 and a tip of the hat to you, good sir.

March 7, 2013 8:35 a.m.

reguthon says...


I built this deck a few months ago and I enjoyed the looks on people's faces when I dropped a Dreadnought on them on turn 1. I also discovered that this deck just folds to Path to Exile or any of various decent removal spells. Yes this deck is cute, but in no way is it competitive :P

March 7, 2013 8:33 p.m.

reguthon says...


Also Abrupt Decay can ruin your day

March 7, 2013 8:34 p.m.

reguthon says...


My old version: Torpor Orb-use

March 7, 2013 8:46 p.m.

Jp3ngu1nb0y says...


Sundial of the Infinite can be a back up Torpor Orb

April 17, 2013 5:31 p.m.

sev968 says...


4x trinket mage, 4x vision charm. gogo

April 24, 2013 12:37 a.m.

Iambadass says...


Nice deck, I also love Torpor Orb. Have You considered Phantasmal Image ? I have a similar deckTorpor Orb Speed that I use for casual play but am going to try to bring to a tourney soon. Maybe you can get some more ideas from it. No Tutors though.. God, i wish that card was legal in Legacy.

April 29, 2013 8:01 p.m.

craigcraig321 says...



June 1, 2013 3:45 p.m.

wow, you are really good at this deckbuilding thing, can you help me with my modern deck, Bolas of Grixis I just need to make it faster, you seem really good at making deck go fast.

June 21, 2013 3:50 p.m.

Killabeetle says...


Nice deck +1 would be a good match for my legacy deck Turn 1 mill/kill for the win

June 21, 2013 3:59 p.m.

Monteleone says...


Would be nice competition for my Stasis Freeze deck+1

August 31, 2013 8:48 a.m.

ienzo13 says...


why not Apostle's Blessing instead of Undying Evil ? works against exile effects and can make a creature unblockable as well

October 2, 2013 12:09 p.m.

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Low Avg High
$263.74 $338.22 $544.84
Date added 1 year
Last updated 6 months
Legal formats Commander / EDH, Legacy, Vintage
Cards 60
Avg. CMC 1.60
Top rank #1 on 2013-03-07

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