pie chart

How to lose a friend by turn 5




Well too bad, I'm gonna use it anyway.

Torpor Orb Casual Deck

Does anyone remember phyrexian dreadnought/eater of days and how CRAPPY it was for its drawback? Well, worry no more!!! Does anyone remember this card called Torpor Orb?

That's right, you can cast a 1 mana with 12/12 and trample on turn 1 at its earliest and F*CK THE OPPONENT OVER!!! (Summon a swamp, dark ritual, torpor orb and phyrexian dreadnaught)

Have fun!!!!

This deck wins on turn 4 on average or turn 2 at its earliest (Get out phyrexian dreadnaught using the method mentioned above, use phyresis on it turn 2, then attack)

This deck is designed more for douchebaggery and assholity.




1kashani says... #1

So this should definitely be titled "How to lose a friend by turn 5." Hahahaha +1!

February 26, 2013 9:29 p.m.

Apoptosis says... #2

Nice combo!

February 26, 2013 10:16 p.m.

EdgarGrim says... #3

This is one of those deck friends don't let friends make.

February 27, 2013 10:01 p.m.

Octrate says... #4

You could definitely get by on 20 land or less. In it's place, Lotus Petal could give you more mana faster. +1 for a cool idea.

February 27, 2013 10:02 p.m.

sillywhiteboy says... #5

Awesome combo, but have you considered Distortion Strike over Artful Dodge? Just a tiny bonus but hey, might as well. Unless the flashback is super important to you, then hey, whatever works.

February 27, 2013 10:04 p.m.

203995014 says... #6

It was hard to choose. I then realized though that:

1: rebound is only effective if the creatures live to see another day

2: the +1 power isn't that effective (somewhat is on eater of days though)

But I also had to consider:1: artful dodge has flashback

Which did I choose

February 27, 2013 10:12 p.m.

monkinto says... #7

Why are you running Phyresis over Tainted Strike?

February 28, 2013 9:58 p.m.

203995014 says... #8

That's because I didn't know about tainted strike until now

February 28, 2013 10:14 p.m.

This deck is even scarrier in legacy lol w/ dark ritual

February 28, 2013 10:34 p.m.

xzzane says... #10

I like this. I like this a lot. +1 from me.

February 28, 2013 10:43 p.m.

strateupjee says... #11

I just... this is.... what the HELL...I love it so much... +1 from me man, congrats on winning all things magic

February 28, 2013 10:47 p.m.

hahalolol says... #12

well what the hell +1

March 2, 2013 8:40 a.m.

Argh! My Face!!!!! If I was running this deck I would never stop laughing, from the moment I drew my hand to the moment the game ended (about four seconds later). +1 for you, you bad, bad person :)

March 2, 2013 8:41 a.m.

why not play Watery Grave instead of Drowned Catacomb? If you turn 1 Darkslick Shores, it'll speed the deck up if the only other land you have in hand is a Watery Grave in substitute of Drowned Catacomb. Regardless, this is super nasty. I'm joining the bandwagon and giving this a +1!

March 3, 2013 10:11 p.m.

+1 for the lols

March 4, 2013 1:34 a.m.

pPAPABURGUNDYq has a point regarding Watery Grave, but nice combo, truly! I built one recently (it's called "Malo") that is trying to squeeze this brand of hate into a Modern format.

4x Demonic Tutor: My favorite part...

March 4, 2013 6:23 p.m.

jasocks says... #17

+1, you magnificent bastard.

I'm going to go cry in a corner now, let me know when it's all over.

March 6, 2013 1:42 p.m.

Joshuawesome says... #18

Upon reading the card list and it's functionality, this deck gave my inner nerd a raging boner. A +1 and a tip of the hat to you, good sir.

March 7, 2013 8:35 a.m.

reguthon says... #19

I built this deck a few months ago and I enjoyed the looks on people's faces when I dropped a Dreadnought on them on turn 1. I also discovered that this deck just folds to Path to Exile or any of various decent removal spells. Yes this deck is cute, but in no way is it competitive :P

March 7, 2013 8:33 p.m.

reguthon says... #20

Also Abrupt Decay can ruin your day

March 7, 2013 8:34 p.m.

reguthon says... #21

My old version: Torpor Orb-use

March 7, 2013 8:46 p.m.

Jay says... #22

April 17, 2013 5:31 p.m.

sev968 says... #23

4x trinket mage, 4x vision charm. gogo

April 24, 2013 12:37 a.m.

Iambadass says... #24

Nice deck, I also love Torpor Orb. Have You considered Phantasmal Image ? I have a similar deckTorpor Orb Speed that I use for casual play but am going to try to bring to a tourney soon. Maybe you can get some more ideas from it. No Tutors though.. God, i wish that card was legal in Legacy.

April 29, 2013 8:01 p.m.

craigcraig321 says... #25


June 1, 2013 3:45 p.m.

wow, you are really good at this deckbuilding thing, can you help me with my modern deck, Bolas of Grixis I just need to make it faster, you seem really good at making deck go fast.

June 21, 2013 3:50 p.m.

Killabeetle says... #27

Nice deck +1 would be a good match for my legacy deck Turn 1 mill/kill for the win

June 21, 2013 3:59 p.m.

Monteleone says... #28

Would be nice competition for my Stasis Freeze deck+1

August 31, 2013 8:48 a.m.

ienzo13 says... #29

why not Apostle's Blessing instead of Undying Evil ? works against exile effects and can make a creature unblockable as well

October 2, 2013 12:09 p.m.

DarkHamlet says... #30

June 24, 2016 2:56 p.m.

Cartrix says... #31

You're a bad person. I love it! +1

March 7, 2017 7:34 p.m.

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