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GB Suicide is Painless

Pauper*

heltoupee


Updates:

This is the list that won the gauntlet. I received some very valid requests that I not make changes to this list, because this is the list that the gauntlet links to, so it needs to remain intact for posterity.

In light of new cards being available, other cards being banned, and certain matchup performances, there are some changes I would make:

  • I would strongly consider Night's Whisper instead of Read the Bones.
  • I've had better luck and consistency when using Viscera Seer instead of Bloodthrone Vampire.
  • Scattershot Archer is no longer necessary in the SB to kill Cloud of Faeries. I'd replace with Shrivel, or something else to shore up the Elves, Goblins, and White Weenie matchups.
  • Mesmeric Fiend under-performs for me by a great amount. YMMV.

Deck Description:

An aggressive deck based on sacrificing things for value. It plays a bit like Stompy with better removal. I've tried to make the most mana-efficient choices so the deck can be explosive when needed. Morbid plays a big role since we're always sacrificing things, morbid is pretty much always on. I'd considered including red, because Mogg War Marshal (and Otherworldly Outburst) is very compelling, but green has better ROI for swarms of creatures (and I'm already building a 2-color aggro deck. Can't make it 3.)

Card choices (this is based on the old list, so you'll see mention of cards that are now banned (Cloud of Faeries)):

  • Creatures:

    • Carrion Feeder - The classic sac outlet. He'll get absolutely huge in no time with this much food around. Please remember that he CANNOT BLOCK, despite how much you'll want him to be able to.
    • Bloodthrone Vampire - a more explosive sac outlet. This one can block, and can be used as a deterrent, or swing for big damage.
    • Kjeldoran Dead - I haven't seen this card used much at all. This list negates the downside pretty well, and you're left with a 3/1 regenerator for 1 mana - making him the "black Delver of Secrets". Rancor on this guy and swinging away is the dream. He's pretty weak against -X/-X effects and -1/-1 counters, so be careful there and side him out if that's what the opponent is doing.
    • Blisterpod - Food for sacrifice dudes. Note - the token he leaves behind can sacrifice itself. Good to remember if you must activate morbid and for some reason don't have a sacrifice outlet handy.
    • Tukatongue Thallid - More food. in this deck, it is strictly inferior to Blisterpod, but it's the next best thing.
    • Brindle Shoat - More food. This one leaves behind a 3/3, which basically makes this a sac activation and a 3/3 for 2 mana - pretty good rate!
    • Young Wolf - More food. This guy comes back as a 2/2, which is a very good rate when you consider the sac activation. He's not as good with Unearth because he doesn't hang out in the graveyard.
  • Spells:

    • Tragic Slip - With morbid active (which is very easy to do in this deck), this basically kills anything. Without morbid, it takes care of faeries and unflipped delvers very well.
    • Innocent Blood - cheap edict effect. The sacrifice shouldn't hurt you much with all those token makers hanging around.
    • Rancor - this gets our attackers through and makes them a little bigger. Rancor on Kjeldoran Dead is why I started developing this deck in the first place (5/1 trampling, regenerating creature!) Also works well on Carrion Feeder and Bloodthrone Vampire to close things out.
    • Hunger of the Howlpack - this is kind of Rancor #5 and #6. The toughness boost is nice, but it's missing the trample. You can use it to make a secondary threat if needed. It's here because morbid is easy to do with this deck, and a permanent +3/+3 for 1 mana is a pretty good deal.
    • Unearth - This can pull back any creature in the deck. Pull back food for more pumps if you need a bigger carrion feeder or vampire. Pull back a carrion feeder that got killed off (or possibly sacced if there was nothing better around). Pull back a Brindle Shoat to make another 3/3. If you can't find anything to do with it, don't be afraid to cycle it away - this deck lives in the now!
    • Read the Bones - Card draw + dig. It's a little expensive, but it should get you what you need. Chosen over Sign in Blood due to the easier casting cost. I also tried Bequeathal and Altar's Reap in this spot, but decided Read the Bones had less requirements, so it can get you out of a jam with better results.

Lands:

    • Mortuary Mire - A very distant second to Unearth. The ability isn't a must, and you can definitely treat it as a nice-to-have. This deck can run on few lands, so you can hold it if needed. If there's something you really want back, go for it. If not, it's an ETB tapped swamp, and don't worry about missing the opportunity to raise dead something to the top of your library. If your only threat gets killed off, or if you just need a couple more sacrifices to get you there, it's a welcome sight. Chosen over Haunted Fengraf for the ability to choose the target - the argument could be made to include Fengraf instead.

SB Plan:

Burn: +3 Sylvok Lifestaff, +2 Duress ;; -3 Tragic Slip, -2 Innocent Blood

  • Early Lifestaff, and you will have plenty of opportunities to gain life off of sacrifices. Duress comes in because it will be better than a removal spell because burn doesn't really play any creatures.

Stompy: +2 Innocent Blood ;; -2 Read the Bones

  • Your strategy is very similar to theirs. You, however, have very efficient removal where they have none. Watch out for / kill Skarrgan Pit-Skulk and Vault Skirge, as they are their biggest threats against you. Also, Tragic Slip should be held to pull a creature out from under Rancor (if you suspect Rancor, keep sac fodder around to activate morbid on their turn). Silhana Ledgewalker can be problematic, that's what Innocent Blood is for.

Infect: +2 Innocent Blood ;; -2 Read the Bones

  • You have chump-blockers for days. Bring in extra removal to deal with their dudes and watch out for Rancor from them.

Goblins: +2 Sylvok Lifestaff ;; -2 Read the Bones

  • You may want to "go wide" in this matchup, as they will attempt to swarm you + Goblin Bushwhacker for the finish. Bring in Lifestaff to stay ahead on life.

Eye Candy: +2 Innocent Blood, +3 Sylvok Lifestaff ;; -2 Read the Bones, -2 Brindle Shoat, -1 Unearth

  • Remove Nivix Cyclops and Kiln Fiend on sight - they don't usually have a lot of creatures, so Innocent Blood should be very good. Bring in Lifestaff to gain life and make it harder for them to 1-shot you.

MBC: +2 Duress, +3 Mesmeric Fiend ;; -3 Kjeldoran Dead, -1 Rancor, -1 Tukatongue Thallid

  • This one will be rough. Kjeldoran Dead comes out as it is super-weak against Disfigure, Coumbajj Witches, etc. Disrupt them with some discard spells and overwhelm their removal if you can. Carrion Feeder should carry the Rancor, as it dodges Snuff Out and Victim of Night (and disfigure after it eats a little bit). Make sure to save some fodder around for edicts. A Crypt Rats into an edict can wipe your board, so be careful. Don't forget, if you sac Mesmeric Fiend in response to its ETB trigger, the card you choose stays exiled. This works off of an Unearth, too. You should also be able to empty your hand fairly quickly to get out of the Chittering Rats lock.

Delver: +2 Scattershot Archer, +3 Mesmeric Fiend, +2 Duress ;; -2 Innocent Blood, -4 Kjeldoran Dead, -1 Tukatongue Thallid

  • This may also be a tough matchup. Scattershot to knock down faeries. Discard suite comes in to try to overload their countermagic. Don't forget, if you sac Mesmeric Fiend in response to its ETB trigger, the card you choose stays exiled. Kjeldoran Dead is exceptionally weak against counterspells and bounce - the 2 ways Delver interacts with you. Don't forget, if you sac Mesmeric Fiend in response to its ETB trigger, the card you choose stays exiled. This works off of an Unearth, too.

Elves: +1 Tragic Slip ;; -1 Innocent Blood

  • Innocent Blood isn't as good in this matchup, as they will always have tons of dudes. Timberwatch Elf needs killing. At that point your creatures should be bigger, and they don't have much removal.

UB creatureless Control: +2 Duress, +3 Mesmeric Fiend ;; -3 Tragic Slip, -2 Innocent Blood

  • Pressure their removal with discard and close the game out quickly before they set up with tons of mana. Don't forget, if you sac Mesmeric Fiend in response to its ETB trigger, the card you choose stays exiled. This works off of an Unearth, too.

Dimir Control: +2 Duress, +2 Innocent Blood ;; -2 Kjeldoran Dead, -1 Brindle Shoat, -1 Tukatongue Thallid

  • Pressure their countermagic with a little discard (Duress is something they must counter). Bring in more (because you'll need to overload counterspells) efficient removal against their creatures. Kjeldoran Dead is bad against Disfigure and Agony Warp. The token Brindle Shoat leaves behind is bad against Repeal, which they also may run.

UB Teachings or Angler / Delver: +3 Mesmeric Fiend ;; -1 Rancor, -2 Tukatongue Thallid

  • This is dependent on their decklist. Kjeldoran Dead is weak against -X/-X removal (of which Agony Warp is, and is sometimes played, also Disfigure). If you see Agony Warp, consider pulling the skeletons out instead (even moreso if you expect this is more teachings than angler/delver). Otherwise you need to pressure their removal with some discard, but we play Fiend only so as not to fuel Angler. We need our removal, too, for resolved Anglers. Don't forget, if you sac Mesmeric Fiend in response to its ETB trigger, the card you choose stays exiled. This works off of an Unearth, too. If you see them playing Swamps and Islands, pay careful attention to their decklist (as best you can) so you can tune your threats.

Affinity: +2 Gleeful Sabotage, +2 Sylvok Lifestaff ;; -2 Brindle Shoat, -1 Read the Bones, -1 Unearth

  • Affinity is fast, you'll have to be faster. Atog + Fling is very bad for you, and you don't have a good way to defend against it. Gleeful Sabotage can take out 2 of their things - I'd make sure you always get 2 with it, your other removal can deal with their threats at a 1-for-1 rate, and we bring in lifestaff to to gain life and try to get out of Atog+Fling range. Your removal should all be good against them, so long as you save a creature to sac to activate morbid.

Tron: +1 Tragic Slip ;; -1 Brindle Shoat

  • Kill them quick. Morbid tragic slip and Innocent Blood can kill everything they have, including Ulamog's Crusher (to think, all we have to do to beat the Eldrazi is make them fall over...)

White Weenie: +2 Gleeful Sabotage ;; -2 Kjeldoran Dead

  • Another "go wide" strategy. Lifestaff can also come in to help in the race, if you feel you need it. Rancor on Carrion Feeder is a good strategy here. Gleeful Sabotage comes in against Journey to Nowhere and Oblivion Ring. If they're playing Serrated Arrows or Unmake, probably think about boarding more of your Kjeldoran Dead out because -1/-1 counters don't mix well with them, and all their other removal works around regeneration. Gleeful Sabotage can help with Serrated Arrows, too. Unmake is rough - don't get caught off-guard and lose a Rancor to it.

Familiars: +3 Mesmeric Fiend ;; -1 Carrion Feeder, -2 Tukatongue Thallid

  • We have a lot of good SB cards against them. Removal and disruption is the name of the game. Mesmeric Fiend should be perfect for this. Don't forget, if you sac Mesmeric Fiend in response to its ETB trigger, the card you choose stays exiled. This works off of an Unearth, too. There's even more removal in the sideboard, if you feel you need it. It could come in for Carrion Feeder (bounce is bad news for him, although they don't play much bounce). Rancor is necessary to get through their early defenses, although Kjeldoran Dead can kill all of their blockers in combat, except Mnemonic Wall.

Bogle Enchantments: +2 Innocent Blood, +2 Gleeful Sabotage ;; -3 Tragic Slip, -1 Read the Bones

  • Innocent Blood is your edict effect, and Bogles HATE edicts. Gleeful Sabotage can help by taking out 2 troublesome enchantments for you. You may also consider Mesmeric Fiend, as Bogles plays very little removal, but it may also be too slow.

Jeskai Kitty / Boros Kitty: +2 Gleeful Sabotage, +2 Sylvok Lifestaff ;; -2 Innocent Blood, -2 Kjeldoran Dead

  • Go fast. Get your Carrion Feeder out of burn range (they play 10 burn). Be careful casting Kjeldoran Dead that they don't burn your sac fodder in response. Mainly, I'd think they'd try to burn you out, so Lifestaff comes in to keep watch on your life total. Gleeful Sabotage can catch a couple of their lands, or a land and a Journey to Nowhere (unless it's absolutely necessary, you probably don't want to return a journeyed Kjeldoran Dead back to the field, as you'll have to sac a creature). Rancor on a Bloodthrone Vampire or Carrion Feeder and trample over for the win (they don't play any creature with more than 3 toughness).

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Date added 3 years
Last updated 2 years
Legality

This deck is Pauper legal.

Cards 60
Avg. CMC 1.32
Tokens 1/1 Eldrazi Scion, 1/1 Saproling
Folders pauper, Pauper, Pauper Decks, Favorites, Pauper, Pauper Party!, Pauper, Pauper, pauper reference, Pauper
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