pie chart

pie chart Because It's Funny




UPDATE 2: Changed format to Modern until I have the time to update for post-rotation.

UPDATE: So, this deck has gotten way more attention than I expected, and the demand for the custom sleeves has been amazing. This whole thing started as a joke, but now I'm inspired to actually see it through. However, due to my work schedule and the fact that I am currently a 4 hour round trip from the nearest card shop, this will take some time.

First I will need to prepare the deck for post-rotation, which means removing anything from SOM block and M12. Then I will begin to update the deck list as RTR spoilers are released, and should have the final deck complete by the time RTR is fully spoiled. Between now and then I will be attempting to have a bulk run of custom sleeves printed, and as soon as I have product I will make them available to all.

Stay tuned for more updates!

A deck I'm working on with a friend, the sole purpose of which is to troll FNMs and other tournaments/events. Highlights include:

  1. A 200+ deck thanks to Battle of Wits.
  2. Double-sleeved cards.
  3. A custom deck box made in the form of a puzzle box, which takes an inordinate amount of time to unlock/open.
  4. Custom sleeves featuring Jace, the Mind Sculptor with a trollface and the words "U MAD?". (whom I've dubbed "Trolljace", see above)
  5. As many instant-speed fetches as possible, so you can respond to spells by spending 10 minutes searching your library and then shuffling.
  6. Door to Nothingness as an alternate win-con.

I have a feeling that this deck will win games simply due to the opponent flipping the table and getting disqualified.

Note: Card selection is still ongoing, so what you see here is just a jumping off point. Refinements will come in time.



Comments View Archive

JoeMama says... #1

I might suggest putting in more tutors.

July 19, 2012 12:18 a.m.

JoeMama says... #2

For the different languages, act like your phone ran out of battery, then proceed to go around the event, looking for someone that speeks the language. This works best at grand prix.

July 19, 2012 12:21 a.m.

JoeMama says... #3

I would love a video of this in action.

July 19, 2012 12:23 a.m.

CommanderFun says... #4

i second the video thing! Please post!

I also think you should aquire a needlessly huge life counter! I just thought, if you need one to be especially enormous, you can use a traditional soccer ball by writing 1-20 on the twenty white hexagons on the ball (yes there are exactly twenty of them... I checked). And, for more trolling, if they ask why you're bringing a soccer ball to the tournament you can simply explain that its a "truncated icosahedron" that has the perfect amount of white hexagon spaces! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truncated_icosahedron)

You can even just pretend to be ignorant that the ball has anything to do with sports and continually claim that you "found a truncated icosahedron for a life counter." :D another thought: find an obscenely large pedestal, goblet, or bowl to keep the truncated icosahedron from rolling off the table and displaying it for all to see.... upon reflection this whole thing may be going too far...

July 19, 2012 8:18 p.m.

spectre501st says... #5

HAHA nice. I would totally do that thing with the soccer ball. And no, it hasn't gone too far. have you seen the average trollface comic involving magnets? they are outrageous! this thread has plenty of room to grow. Another idea is to get three more puzzle boxes, all alike. pretend you forgot which box the deck is in and spend huge amounts of time unlocking them to find out what box its in. ;-P

July 19, 2012 8:23 p.m.

iConcede says... #6

Just when I think this deck has reached maximum troll potential, I come on here and see several new suggestions that are simply amazing. Looking for a translator for foreign cards is great, and that soccer ball idea is epic. Keep the ideas coming, I'm not sure how many we'll be able to include in a single FNM, but at the very least we could try mixing it up each time with a few different troll methods.

July 19, 2012 8:42 p.m.

JoeMama says... #7

And did you buy the troll sleeves, or did you make them yourself? I want some.

July 19, 2012 9:16 p.m.

iConcede says... #8

The image was made by a friend, and we will be getting them custom printed in bulk for ourselves and anyone else who wants to troll. :)

July 19, 2012 10:18 p.m.

CommanderFun says... #9

if it is at all possible, I want in on that too...

July 19, 2012 10:57 p.m.

Because of the number of times you have to shuffle your deck, you may want to consider this:


I guess it would be up to the individual judge to decide?

July 20, 2012 1:09 a.m.

piedok says... #11


July 20, 2012 10:10 a.m.

JoeMama says... #12

I want in on the sleeves. Maybe set up a website so we all can buy them.

July 20, 2012 10:15 a.m.

iConcede says... #13

I'll definitely make the sleeves available once we have them made, probably via eBay. As for the rulings on shuffling, I do need to look into that. I know way back in the day a Battle of Wits deck was doing well in the Pro Tours, so obviously it can be done. Worst-case scenario is that I'll have to ditch the double-sleeving idea, but with all the great trolling suggestions posted here I can always fall back on something else to make up the difference.

July 20, 2012 10:25 a.m.

CommanderFun says... #14

@iConcede that sounds as if you're sideboarding in troll methods... ;)

July 20, 2012 10:31 a.m.

JoeMama says... #15

What about your sideboard? Do you have any ideas?

July 20, 2012 12:05 p.m.

Jokernaught says... #16

I think I'm going to cry tears of joy. Nevah have I seen something this beautiful... Where is MegustaGarruk?

July 21, 2012 6:29 p.m.

Necroci says... #17

...you have my undying respect and admiration.

July 21, 2012 6:41 p.m.

Jokernaught says... #18

Haha Nicol Trolas... Problem?

Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker

Sorry just thought of it.

July 21, 2012 6:48 p.m.

Pokeq says... #19

don't forget to record a video and upload to youtube.

we all waiting to see the man who get DQ by flipping the table :)

July 23, 2012 12:04 a.m.

rapeydom says... #20

HAHA! trolljace. where can I get those card protectors?? +1 from me :)

July 23, 2012 2:19 p.m.

torridus says... #21

I don't think you should double-sleeve, but I like the soccer ball idea.

You can also run Thought Scour (works well with Ponder and Index ) and Think Twice for instant draw.

July 24, 2012 8:31 p.m.

DarthTrevyn says... #22

I never thought I would see a 200+ deck! Haha!

July 25, 2012 12:55 a.m.

MrB0ston says... #23

i love this deck its a lot of fun definitely worth a +1, i would recommend adding card:Alchemist's Refuge its give the battle of wits an extra hint of surprise when you drop it on the end of there turn for a quick win

July 26, 2012 8 p.m.

LeaPlath says... #24

I think this deck needs more attention, so you are getting a feature as soon as I get tokens. +1

July 28, 2012 8:23 a.m.

thegeekguy says... #25

i love you.......so much.

July 28, 2012 11:30 a.m.

spectre501st says... #26

July 28, 2012 4:19 p.m.

spectre501st says... #27

another thing you should do is have every other card upside down. then open your box and get all upset and then turn each card right side up. :-P

July 28, 2012 4:21 p.m.

JoeMama says... #28

You can also use your voice to annoy your opponent. Try a game using an aussie accent, or act like a boxing announcer in the ring: (and there's the knock out of the Primeval Titan !)

July 28, 2012 5 p.m.

nfcnorth says... #29

Liliana of the Dark Realms if you have some put them in just so you waste time finding a swamp every turn even if you know you have them all out.

July 30, 2012 1:41 p.m.

nfcnorth says... #30

plus you could always debate which art of swamp you want to find

July 30, 2012 1:43 p.m.

Jokernaught says... #31

A way you could possibly* (Not sure if it would actually work) pretend your wrist was sprained or you had some how injured one of your hands, just to slow the shuffling proccess.

August 1, 2012 6:11 p.m.

Cake_rulz36 says... #32

I want in on those sleeves too

August 6, 2012 10:32 a.m.

thegeekguy says... #33

just had an idea, you could also make thrun, the last troll sleeves too

August 6, 2012 2:48 p.m.

DNSolver says... #34


Have this as your ringtone on your cell phone!

Also, find some sort of camera-recording pen to put in your breast pocket when playing, just to capture your opponents' faces.

August 12, 2012 6:39 p.m.

JoeMama says... #35

I can't believe all the ideas here!

August 13, 2012 10:08 a.m.

strateupjee says... #36

I just want to say sir, you are my hero haha, here I thought my control deck was trolling enough just because I made a guy flip the table at the last FNM I was at just due to killing him by Redirect ing his Bonfire of the Damned back at him to wipe his board then ended it the turn after, this was after countering the last 7 spells he had tried to play and he was... ahem... "forcefully removed'' from the store hahaha, but this really takes the cake and as many many people have said +1 from me and I would love to get in on those sleeves.

Please know, you are seriously a troll god, and I tip my hat to you sir.

August 14, 2012 1:26 a.m.

KanvasKing says... #37

Turn one Birds. Opponent: "Oh, it's a wolf run or R/G aggro.*Looks at library." "Oh..."

August 15, 2012 2:19 a.m.

skyb0rg says... #38

I think that probably Redirect would fit nicely with the theme. Also maindeck Naturalize screws people over too

August 21, 2012 2:33 p.m.

zandl says... #39

August 27, 2012 2:52 a.m.

theonyc says... #40

what the fuck? are you the guy who made me flip over the table last friday

September 10, 2012 6:04 p.m.

Chalkarts says... #41

For a ridiculously unwieldy life counter I recommend a D-100 and when your opponent asks why you need such a huge life counter just say, "Just in Case"

I think I may have to try this in Standard. I'm a new/old player(been out of the game for over 10 years) but in my prime I Played a lot of Land/Hand destruction decks and counter decks for the sole reason of annoying my enemies to death.

I applaud your efforts in this.

September 10, 2012 6:07 p.m.

hipdoctor says... #42

Will you be selling those deck boxes too?! Please link me to where I can buy the deck boxes and sleeves when they are available. Love the deck btw!! XD lololol +1

September 20, 2012 11:51 p.m.

theonyc says... #43

splash white for Lingering Souls , to help stall Terminus a board wipe that also refuels your library Avacyn, Angel of Hope , (maybe, would just be funny to pop this out and have an enormous deck, indestructible stuff and the best sleeves/deck box) some life gain and the biggest troll of all: card:Archangel's Light refuels your library and nets you a lot of life

September 21, 2012 3:08 p.m.

ruhanoffumori says... #44

id definitely commision you for some trolljace sleeves

September 24, 2012 7:10 p.m.

Put me down for some of those sleeves as well, if they are reasonably priced I would order 300 or so!

September 24, 2012 7:53 p.m.

DNSolver says... #46

I would also order sleeves, like maybe 250 or so. Forgot to mention it in a previous post.

September 25, 2012 4:12 p.m.

Skythe says... #47

I'd order those badass sleeves.

September 30, 2012 4:15 a.m.

weswes110 says... #48

Those sleeves are definitely epic, i'd buy some.

October 3, 2012 11:07 a.m.

weswes110 says... #49

Those sleeves are definitely epic, i'd buy some.

October 3, 2012 11:08 a.m.

spectre501st says... #50

you should do a series of sleeves based off these faces, such as pokerjace, ragejace and some of the others i can't think of right now XD

October 3, 2012 9:08 p.m.

DNSolver says... #51


October 3, 2012 10 p.m.

heartspains88 says... #52

Updating list for current standard? A lot of cards have rotated out.

October 10, 2012 9:15 p.m.

iConcede says... #53

I'll be getting to an update for the actual deck list once I have some time. Between moving, starting a new job, travelling to Europe, etc. it hasn't been easy to find the time. As for the custom sleeves, it seems the few places that do custom jobs require massive (and I do mean MASSIVE) quantities to be ordered, and on top of that won't do copyrighted artwork (which most of this would be). I'll keep looking though.

October 10, 2012 11:27 p.m.

iStackBacon says... #54

This deck isn't standard, also you can't make "custome sleeves".

October 11, 2012 9:39 p.m.

ruhanoffumori says... #55

yes you can. just usually costs a pretty penny and a mass order

October 16, 2012 3:20 p.m.

skyb0rg says... #56

Suggestions: Seek the Horizon , Bitterheart Witch (will NEVER die), Curse of Misfortunes (maybe just one to get wih the witch), Gatecreeper Vine (with one-of gates to "make mana easier"), Liliana of the Dark Realms (for getting your one-of shocklands), Mwonvuli Beast Tracker (just more search), card:Memory's Journey (to make sure you get the important spells again). Good luck with the deck!

October 16, 2012 4:34 p.m.

mooseeeeey says... #57

Hey, so I'm pretty new to magic.I wanna try this deck out (Cockatrice) and just want to make sure I understand how to play it.I see the basic idea is getting as much mana out as possible, and countering as many things as possible, but are the only 'ace' ways of winning the Door to Nothingness and Battle of Wits ? Or is there something I'm missing?

October 27, 2012 12:39 a.m.

theonyc says... #58

no your not

October 27, 2012 12:09 p.m.

skyb0rg says... #59

This deck is meant to torture people with excessive shuffle effects. Not too great for cockitrice.

October 27, 2012 5:48 p.m.

theonyc says... #60

lol, shuffle-normally takes 4 mins, on cockatrice, .00004 sec. this deck would be so much more powerful if you cut 8 cards, you seem to have to many, Battle of Wits and Door to Nothingness

October 27, 2012 7:11 p.m.

milez0 says... #61

Hypersonic Dragon s. Playing them sorceries as instants just gets perfectly more annoying.

November 3, 2012 3:33 p.m.

Blakkhand says... #62

This deck NEEDS Myr Mindservant . Even its flavor text is annoying! +1

November 12, 2012 12:58 p.m.

Thelonen00b says... #63

....I won.

I proxied this deck in a 3-way, best two out of three.

I won both games in a row with Battle of Wits.

I love you.

November 26, 2012 1:51 a.m.

Elvenz says... #64

LOL loved it!

December 18, 2012 11:27 a.m.

Karl_von_Karl says... #65

Playing the deck made me feel like there needed to be board sweepers. If you're bringing it into standard then stuff like Supreme Verdict and maybe Cyclonic Rift should be included to give a more lasting "no" to the pesky aggro decks. +1

January 7, 2013 6:19 p.m.

Have fun shuffling this thing.

January 25, 2013 1:39 a.m.

weswes110 says... #67

that's the entire point, dude

January 25, 2013 10:49 a.m.

Matrixchild says... #68

Ponder is banned.

February 21, 2013 2:38 p.m.

Schuesseled says... #69

Paint the front of your sleeves and opaque black, so that you have to take it out of the sleeve to read it when you draw it, and each and every time your opponent requests to see what's on your field, and obviously you can't play without the sleeves as this would damage the cards, so they get to stay on, and your opponent gets annoyed.

June 16, 2013 9:52 a.m.

theonyc says... #70


June 16, 2013 1:45 p.m.

HardRockGamer says... #71

November 23, 2013 12:24 p.m.

HairyHorux says... #72

This... This is beautiful

May 1, 2014 9:04 p.m.

AzureMage says... #73

I need is deck in my life, please give us an update!

July 30, 2015 10:35 a.m.

Sum1OnSteam says... #74

The biggest troll,the mime

(if u know what im talking about, plz make a comment with the mime in there)

May 3, 2016 12:31 p.m.

Eric1827 says... #75

Ponder is banned in modern.

June 12, 2016 9:33 a.m.

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Compare to inventory
Date added 5 years
Last updated 5 years

This deck is Modern legal.

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Top rank #2 on 2012-07-19
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