Flavor Kitchen: Innistrad Part 1

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Deco_y

20 April 2018

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A day late and a dollar short!


Yeah I experienced a bit of an inconvenience when my file got corrupted, but I managed to hash out some more flavor in time to get the article up and done... a day late. Whoops. Sorry not sorry.

In the comments on last week's article I asked the community which set they wanted to see, and the overwhelming majority(Like, 3 people) wanted to have a visit to Innistrad, followed by Theros. Honestly I've been wanting to do Innistrad as soon as I decided I wanted to do this series, so I jumped at the chance. There were so many cards that jump out of this set, like the staples Liliana of the Veil, Snapcaster Mage(More on him next article), and of course Yawgmoth's Will's little sister Past in Flames.

Back when this set came out I stayed up more nights than I'd admit reading up on WoTC's previews, imagining deck ideas, and trying SO HARD to figure out a way to use Heartless Summoning. I'm currently working on a deck that uses Heartless Summoning's set-mate Charmbreaker Devils as an example.

Let's get down to business and start working through all the ghoulish and righteous cards Innistrad has to offer. As was the case with Khans of Tarkir, I had too many decent ones to fit into one article, so I'll begin with #20 thru #11 and give you guys another 2 cracks at a reader challenge for the set.

Without further ado, let's get started.

Honorable Mention-


Sever the Bloodline


With her final breath, her family's heritage faded into oblivion.


This was basically made so tokens didn't run completely rampant through standard back in the day. It's still a really powerful card IMO.

Skaab Ruinator


The concept of being dead and gone only applies to those without the will and means.


I tried for days and days to put this guy into a deck I really liked, but I never got around to it. I may revisit it at some point.

20: Bitterheart Witch


Her Curse will eat away at your body and soul until you become a husk of what you once were. You will beg for death, but you will receive no mercy.



I tried to make a Curse deck back in the day with Bitterheart Witch in it, but predictably it was never that great.

19: Inquisitor's Flail


"It's a good weapon. In your trained hands, it will become great." - Inquisitor Handbook, page 283



I love the flavor with this card, unless you're trained in it's usage, it will deal just as much damage to you as your opponent just like it would in real life. Phenomenal job by WoTC.

18: Grimoire of the Dead


"For milennia necromancers have yearned for power beyond the grave. There is no question this Grimoire posseses the key you seek. The quarry is if you will be consumed by your desires or if, by fate, you can control them." - Inscription on the inside cover.



This was one of those cards back in the day that I loved to look at but never really wanted to include in a deck.

17: Dream Twist


Be careful with your dreams, for they may not be yours much longer.



I like how powerful the image of someone taking your dreams translates to milling so well.

16: Gnaw to the Bone


Nature isn't known to waste precious resources.



Nice little call out to how nature generally doesn't waste much in real life.

15: Brimstone Volley


The fires of rage always burn a little bit longer when tinged with dispair.



I almost imagined this like a mage casting a spell, but putting more mana into it if he was upset at his/her creature dying.

14: Cackling Counterpart


They can never figure out why it's laughing until it's too late.



I love copy cards. My favorite all time is Phantasmal Image, but this one holds a special place for me too.

13: Brain Weevil


The voice that whispers into your ear isn't always in your head.



Like the old wives tale of a spider getting into your ear and spinning a web, I imagined the beetle doing something similar. By the way, that's a HUGE beetle hot damn.

12: Delver of Secrets  Flip


"I know that I cannot keep my current path. My research is at a standstill. While Innistrad struggles forward, I fear it is now my time to struggle onward as well."



I'm kind of cheating here because his flip has flavor, but I liked the text I came up with enough to ignore the technicality.

11: Geist-Honored Monk


There exists a girl that spends her days dancing for spirits, and in appreciation, the spirits dance for her.



I kind of imagined a maiden dancing for a bunch of mob guys or a gang, and then the mod or gang wanting to defend the girl who was providing them a service.

Time to dust off the challenge of the week. It was a pretty close call, but congrats Boza!

Butcher of the Horde


"The victims are mauled, tenderized, prepared and consumed. Not necessarily in that order." - Terek, Tarkir Historian

This week's challenge can only be classified as AWESOME. Good luck:

Grimgrin, Corpse-Born

This article is a follow-up to Flavor Kitchen: Khans of Tarkir Part 2 The next article in this series is Flavor Kitchen: Innistrad Part 2

Boza says... #1

I love this week's article - brain weavel one is my favorite! Now, I have to think hard on Grimgrin! I am thinking something simple:

"Your body is his weapon"

April 20, 2018 4:45 a.m. Edited.

Cipher001 says... #2

How about... "Born of corpses to make more corpses."

I did also enjoy your flavor text for the weevil and Gnaw to the Bone. The one complaint that I have with the weevil is... is it still technically in your head? Eh, semantics. I'm really liking this series. Flavor text is something that I've always loved to see on a card.

April 20, 2018 6:30 a.m. Edited.

ersatz_olorin says... #3

"His heart is definitely not in the right place"

"Hey, that's Karl's leg!"

"He feeds on all, even his own"

April 20, 2018 11:39 a.m.

Deco_y says... #4

Karls Leg hahahahaha

April 20, 2018 12:54 p.m.

Pheardemons says... #5

Congrats to Boza!

Also, Grimgrin, Corpse-Born! (little girl giddy scream)

Man I love this guy. Alright let's see what I can do.

"I have never been more horrified in my entire life, but something was weirdly soothing. It looked like he had my grandmother's eyes" - Journal of survivor

"Humans are ignorant to think death is a finality."

"At least in my death, I know that I will become stronger than they could ever imagine!" - suicide note

April 20, 2018 2:48 p.m.

Grimgrin has one of the most disturbing titles of all cards ever. Period. It's flavourtext should be at least similarly nasty.

"To be born dead doesn't necessarily mean not to be born undead."

April 21, 2018 12:11 a.m.

Btw, Boza: if your winning flavourtext was real, it would easily Raging Goblin.

April 21, 2018 7:34 a.m.

Suns_Champion says... #8

He is a dreadful chill looking for a spine to run down.

Haven't commented yet but I've really been enjoying this series. Keep up the good work!

April 21, 2018 8:36 a.m.

Cipher001 says... #9

Yours is really clever, Suns_Champion. I like ersatz_olorin's "His heart is definitely not in the right place" as well, but that was a clever take on "A dreadful chill runs down your spine."

April 21, 2018 8:40 a.m.

Suns_Champion says... #10

Thanks! He may also be literally looking for a spine hehe

I wanted to go with creepy over funny for this guy, so I didn't add any more to it, but that could be implied anyway. I like things with multiple interpretations.

I like ersatz "heart not in the right place" too haha

April 21, 2018 8:45 a.m.

Deco_y says... #11

Good work on the entires everyone!

April 21, 2018 3:51 p.m.

TheVectornaut says... #12

The Cathar initiate's hands shook. His knees buckled. All he could do was muster a nervous smile. Unfortunately, Grimgrin smiled back.

It seemed like a shame not to capitalize on the wicked name, "Grimgrin".

April 22, 2018 10:11 a.m.

When night fell, so too did another village. When the sun rose, so too did the bodies of its inhabitants.

  • After writing I realize it's more of a generic zombie effect flavor, but I liked it enough either way.
April 23, 2018 3:01 p.m.

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