Best cards of all time (hilarity)
29 May 2012
29 May 2012
Ladies and Gentlemen, these are dark times for magic. Times where we need to remember the cards that warped formats.
Lets see some of the best cards ever printed
It's still a 1/2 flyer but what makes it better than storm crow? it doesn't die to Doom Blade! Resistance to removal has always been a key to success in MTG and every one knows the 3 extra mana is sooo worth it.
With 56 forests out would you really rather play a 15/15 Eldrazi or a 52/52 Wood Elemental? Of course the 52/52 beater would be way more efficient than some stinky Eldrazi, a great addition to any green deck.
FAAALLCCCCOOONNNNNN PUUNNCH! This card was known for its epic turn 2 kills there are so many ways to pull it of this is just such a combo card!
An example would be:
You: Black Lotus,Gemstone Mine,Mox Emerald. Crack lotus for 3x Lightning Bolt to the face, tap swamp for Dark Ritual. Then play Yawgmoth's Will to return Black Lotus and 2x Lightning Bolts (again to the face). Then use the 1 mana left over from lotus and the Mox Emerald to cast Grizzly Bears.
You: draw a Lightning Bolt play it and attack for lethal.
This is just 1 example of a common combo deck revolving around the legendary Grizzly Bears
Ahh, such a controversial card. Ever since release its been in the run for "BEST MTG CARD OF ALL TIME". And there's a very good reason. With this card all you need is 2 creatures and 10 mana and you can effectively deal with all those pesky Storm Crows and Chimney Imps. In a deck with Puresteel Paladin its totally bonkers... No wonder Stoneforge Mystic got banned!
Arguably the best sb card ever, this will make those 5 cards with plainswalk block-able! now that's tech. Take that you stupid Zodiac Rooster
People tend to run 4x of there best cards. With this in your deck they will regret not making a 60 card EDH instead. Also been dubbed the best answer to Squadron Hawk and Relentless Rats. Easily the best control card ever printed.
Flavor wise, this card rocks.. And lets all look at the synergy between vampires! At times this is immune to Lure! Not only that but it's SEMI immune to card steal effects like Mind Control. That certainly counts as protection from green and blue, and puts Sword of Body and Mind to shame.
Other than being one of the best answers to Tarmogoyf ever printed, this card has beautiful artwork... Who doesn't love a nice little dwarf taking a s-- rest after a long days work.
The last thing you want to do is waste removal on a card not worth it..Those pesky Morph cards don't make life any easier either... Break Open makes sure that you'll never waste removal again! Such a good card by wizard. Kudos.
(DISCLAIMER, these are mtg jokes and not to be taken seriously down below are some actual uses of these cards if you aren' a timmy like me.)
Other uses of these cards would include the following:
Bonfire fuel to keep you warm.
They all combo with paper shredder
Playing these during competitive tournaments will make you a.lot of friends.
If you have enough of these, you can make a spot for your pet litter.
these are fantastic to proxy cards over so yeah!
lawwwwllllsssssss Razor Boomerang is useful afterall hahahaha
May 29, 2012 9:18 a.m.
May 29, 2012 9:20 a.m.
=000000000 thanks squire1 for putting it up.. =)
@glg3nstlftw i totally forgot it traded with delver dayum.
May 29, 2012 9:28 a.m.
thanks, nice to know people on tappedout have a sense of humor haha.
May 29, 2012 9:38 a.m.
May 29, 2012 10:59 a.m.
aghhh i knew i forgot a red card thats exactly what i missed its still on my notepad X_X
May 29, 2012 11:04 a.m.
naw.. Squire is ok.....its a human,soldier (both god to be) 2 drop not too bad....even for a 1/2
May 29, 2012 11:12 a.m.
idk about STRICTLY because being human and soldier does have its perks.. but without it yeah.. kitties ftw?
May 29, 2012 12:02 p.m.
Form of the Squirrel is obviously the most OP card ever.
HE'S GOT MURDER IN HIS EYES
May 29, 2012 12:41 p.m.
I have actually seen a deck on here that had a win con of getting infinite mana, an untapping artifact, and razor boomerang on a chimney imp for the win. It was epic!
May 29, 2012 2:16 p.m.
Also, if you swap out the emerald for Mox Sapphire , you can make the Grizzly Bear combo work just as well with Storm Crow . Only downside is it's a turn 3 win instead, but flying can come in handy when your opponent controls Mindless Null and a vampire.
May 29, 2012 7 p.m.
I need to make a deck with all of these cards. Unbeatable!
May 29, 2012 7:03 p.m.
@Mpz5 dayum haha mustve been sick..
@mistergreen527 yeah, you know it =P
May 29, 2012 9:18 p.m.
idk bout Riptide althoug pretty painfull, it doesnt seem THAT broken..yet..unless some1 figures ot an insae way to abuse it i guess..
maybe i shall make part 2?
May 30, 2012 1:13 a.m.
For the absurdity of its name I was always a fan of Evil Eye of Orms-by-Gore .
May 30, 2012 4 p.m.
I don't think it should have been on this list, but Chant of the Skifsang is super fun. Should have read "Enchanted creature is now a wall". Such a slap to the face lol.
May 31, 2012 12:39 a.m.
May 31, 2012 1:33 a.m.
lolol laughed so hard. You should put all these cards in a deck. I would love to playtest it. I always thought Browse was an absolutely pointless card idk someone may have found a decent use for it tho
June 1, 2012 9:20 p.m.
its likely used in some really cheap casual decks... in my playgroup anything goes.. especially when we play free for all, where any deck is viable (usually killing starts at turn 8-15? and it lasts for hours... i even get to normally play up to 20 or so lands sometimes in a monoblack deck with only 24 lol.. so yeah.. i think thats a use for it.. if not then combo decks could have some use of it..i guess... i might make a deck with these cards and post it on the site once im done getting my stuff ready for school, so yeah
June 2, 2012 2:52 a.m.
Think you are missing a few like that one ravnica artifact that returns to hand and taps (to tap a creature AFAIRemember) for same cost as razor boomerang and one with nothing.
but otherwise, nice job!!
June 2, 2012 3:24 p.m.
I play a lot of 4+ multiplayer and should drop Great Wall just to see the reaction. :)
June 2, 2012 9:58 p.m.
hmmmm seems like theres alot of things i misses.. i shazll make a list hahah
June 2, 2012 11:49 p.m.
Can't believe nobody mentioned Jhessian Zombies . I don't understand why'd you want land cycling when you can have 2 fear damage every turn for 6 mana.
June 6, 2012 8:11 a.m.
Also, how about the most devastating 8-drop ever, Scornful Egotist ?
June 6, 2012 1:21 p.m.
I'm surprised Goblin Bangchuckers haven't been mentioned. 4 mana for a 2/2 that has a 50/50 chance to kill itself? AHmazing.
June 7, 2012 5:29 a.m.
Actually no joke Scornful Egotist is an amazing card in a RB spellbomb deck, 8 dmg every turn with the right cards.
June 7, 2012 8 p.m.
Some weeks ago I think they are just really good, because you speak of it.
I never think of sarcasm. LOL
June 21, 2012 6:35 a.m.
lol.. im actually planning to make another article like this-ish but im pretty buisy.. once im free itl be the first thing i do =))
June 21, 2012 7:15 a.m.
And I'll be the first reader of your next article! =))
How could some weeks ago I thought Chimney Imp is one of the best card ever o.O
June 21, 2012 7:37 a.m.
hahahaha lol.. ive had some friends of mine actually take this serious till they got to Razor Boomerang .... a new 1 would probably take 2 more weeks since im kinda hung up.. =)
June 21, 2012 9:42 a.m.
June 29, 2012 9:01 p.m.
If you do another, don't forget about Descent into Madness.
July 18, 2012 4:09 p.m.
August 23, 2012 11:51 p.m.
you forgot about the power of nine, ante cards, Primeval Titan /[tarmagoyf]