Best cards of all time (hilarity)

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Vman

29 May 2012

13133 views

Ladies and Gentlemen, these are dark times for magic. Times where we need to remember the cards that warped formats.

Lets see some of the best cards ever printed

Storm Crow


This card is known for its insane advantages. A set of Jace, the Mind Sculptor roughly costs $228 which would be the equivalent of 1753 Storm Crow s. Talk about card advantage!!

Chimney Imp


It's still a 1/2 flyer but what makes it better than storm crow? it doesn't die to Doom Blade ! Resistance to removal has always been a key to success in MTG and every one knows the 3 extra mana is sooo worth it.

Wood Elemental


With 56 forests out would you really rather play a 15/15 Eldrazi or a 52/52 Wood Elemental ? Of course the 52/52 beater would be way more efficient than some stinky Eldrazi, a great addition to any green deck.

Grizzly Bears


FAAALLCCCCOOONNNNNN PUUNNCH! This card was known for its epic turn 2 kills there are so many ways to pull it of this is just such a combo card!

An example would be:

Opponent: Black Lotus tap for Jace Beleren activate +2 you both draw.

You: Black Lotus , Gemstone Mine , Mox Emerald . Crack lotus for 3x Lightning Bolt to the face, tap swamp for Dark Ritual . Then play Yawgmoth's Will to return Black Lotus and 2x Lightning Bolt s (again to the face). Then use the 1 mana left over from lotus and the Mox Emerald to cast Grizzly Bears .

Opponent: Jace Beleren -1, Swamp pass

You: draw a Lightning Bolt play it and attack for lethal.

This is just 1 example of a common combo deck revolving around the legendary Grizzly Bears

North Star


This card is probably the best mana filter in MTG history. It even makes Channel + Progenitus viable! Not much more to say but its certainly a card which deserves a spot in every 2-5 color deck.

Razor Boomerang


Ahh, such a controversial card. Ever since release its been in the run for "BEST MTG CARD OF ALL TIME". And there's a very good reason. With this card all you need is 2 creatures and 10 mana and you can effectively deal with all those pesky Storm Crow s and Chimney Imp s. In a deck with Puresteel Paladin its totally bonkers... No wonder Stoneforge Mystic got banned!

Great Wall


Arguably the best sb card ever, this will make those 5 cards with plainswalk block-able! now that's tech. Take that you stupid Zodiac Rooster

Hint of Insanity


People tend to run 4x of there best cards. With this in your deck they will regret not making a 60 card EDH instead. Also been dubbed the best answer to Squadron Hawk and Relentless Rats . Easily the best control card ever printed.

Aven Trooper


Ok, ill be honest, this was a personal addition to the list. But it Deals with Delver of Secrets  Flip so well its just mind blowing. Expecting allot of delver? pack 5 of these if you have to.

Mindless Null


Flavor wise, this card rocks.. And lets all look at the synergy between vampires! At times this is immune to Lure ! Not only that but it's SEMI immune to card steal effects like Mind Control . That certainly counts as protection from green and blue, and puts Sword of Body and Mind to shame.

Mudhole


Other than being one of the best answers to Tarmogoyf ever printed, this card has beautiful artwork... Who doesn't love a nice little dwarf taking a s-- rest after a long days work.

Break Open


The last thing you want to do is waste removal on a card not worth it..Those pesky Morph cards don't make life any easier either... Break Open makes sure that you'll never waste removal again! Such a good card by wizard. Kudos.

(DISCLAIMER, these are mtg jokes and not to be taken seriously down below are some actual uses of these cards if you aren' a timmy like me.)

Other uses of these cards would include the following:

  1. Bonfire fuel to keep you warm.

  2. They all combo with paper shredder

  3. Playing these during competitive tournaments will make you a.lot of friends.

  4. If you have enough of these, you can make a spot for your pet litter.

  5. these are fantastic to proxy cards over so yeah!

glg3nstlftw says... #1

lawwwwllllsssssss Razor Boomerang is useful afterall hahahaha

May 29, 2012 9:18 a.m.

glg3nstlftw says... #2

it can kill Delver of Secrets  Flip too if that counts for anything

May 29, 2012 9:20 a.m.

Vman says... #3

=000000000 thanks squire1 for putting it up.. =)

@glg3nstlftw i totally forgot it traded with delver dayum.

May 29, 2012 9:28 a.m.

mafteechr says... #4

I enjoyed this.

May 29, 2012 9:36 a.m.

Vman says... #5

thanks, nice to know people on tappedout have a sense of humor haha.

May 29, 2012 9:38 a.m.

You forgot Ember Shot its a Lightning Bolt with six mana to draw a card

May 29, 2012 10:59 a.m.

Vman says... #7

aghhh i knew i forgot a red card thats exactly what i missed its still on my notepad X_X

May 29, 2012 11:04 a.m.

Cableguy says... #8

You forgot Squire

May 29, 2012 11:10 a.m.

Vman says... #9

naw.. Squire is ok.....its a human,soldier (both god to be) 2 drop not too bad....even for a 1/2

May 29, 2012 11:12 a.m.

Cableguy says... #10

lol but Sanctuary Cat is strictly better.

May 29, 2012 noon

Vman says... #11

idk about STRICTLY because being human and soldier does have its perks.. but without it yeah.. kitties ftw?

May 29, 2012 12:02 p.m.

OrgasmAndTea says... #12

Form of the Squirrel is obviously the most OP card ever.

HE'S GOT MURDER IN HIS EYES

May 29, 2012 12:41 p.m.

Vman says... #13

too bad that card isnt legal.. haha but yeah

May 29, 2012 12:45 p.m.

Mpz5 says... #14

I have actually seen a deck on here that had a win con of getting infinite mana, an untapping artifact, and razor boomerang on a chimney imp for the win. It was epic!

May 29, 2012 2:16 p.m.

doinitwrong says... #15

Mudhole is more effective against Terravore than it is against Tarmogoyf .

Also, if you swap out the emerald for Mox Sapphire , you can make the Grizzly Bear combo work just as well with Storm Crow . Only downside is it's a turn 3 win instead, but flying can come in handy when your opponent controls Mindless Null and a vampire.

May 29, 2012 7 p.m.

I need to make a deck with all of these cards. Unbeatable!

May 29, 2012 7:03 p.m.

Vman says... #17

@Mpz5 dayum haha mustve been sick..

@doinitwrong Tarmogoyf is played a ton so it would be better to mention it although yeah.

@mistergreen527 yeah, you know it =P

May 29, 2012 9:18 p.m.

torridus says... #18

Selective Memory + Mana Severance is pretty boss too.

May 29, 2012 9:37 p.m.

elbenji says... #19

Aw, you forgot Riptide .

Nothing said broken like Riptide .

May 30, 2012 1 a.m.

Vman says... #20

idk bout Riptide althoug pretty painfull, it doesnt seem THAT broken..yet..unless some1 figures ot an insae way to abuse it i guess..

maybe i shall make part 2?

May 30, 2012 1:13 a.m.

elbenji says... #21

I know I mean...SHUTDOWN!

You should =P

May 30, 2012 1:41 a.m.

Vman says... #22

then i just might haha

May 30, 2012 3:06 a.m.

Emrakool says... #23

For the absurdity of its name I was always a fan of Evil Eye of Orms-by-Gore .

May 30, 2012 4 p.m.

Vman says... #24

0.0 never even heard of that card.. lol interesting..

May 30, 2012 11:49 p.m.

Plummyr says... #25

I don't think it should have been on this list, but Chant of the Skifsang is super fun. Should have read "Enchanted creature is now a wall". Such a slap to the face lol.

May 31, 2012 12:39 a.m.

Vman says... #26

lol... thats what i thought when it got spoiled haha

May 31, 2012 12:54 a.m.

Lectrys says... #27

Isn't Squire supposed to be a hilarious card, too? Seriously, it's so powerless when we can have Squires that fetch equipment (Stoneforge Mystic )!

May 31, 2012 1:33 a.m.

rivarpab says... #28

This made me happy.

June 1, 2012 12:12 a.m.

Vman says... #29

haha rivarpab.. it makes me smile knwing i did good =))

June 1, 2012 2:15 a.m.

gumgum921 says... #30

You've made my day :)

June 1, 2012 6:18 a.m.

Vman says... #31

=)) thanks apreciate it

June 1, 2012 6:21 a.m.

spectre501st says... #32

lolol laughed so hard. You should put all these cards in a deck. I would love to playtest it. I always thought Browse was an absolutely pointless card idk someone may have found a decent use for it tho

June 1, 2012 9:20 p.m.

Vman says... #33

its likely used in some really cheap casual decks... in my playgroup anything goes.. especially when we play free for all, where any deck is viable (usually killing starts at turn 8-15? and it lasts for hours... i even get to normally play up to 20 or so lands sometimes in a monoblack deck with only 24 lol.. so yeah.. i think thats a use for it.. if not then combo decks could have some use of it..i guess... i might make a deck with these cards and post it on the site once im done getting my stuff ready for school, so yeah

June 2, 2012 2:52 a.m.

Halfdead says... #34

Think you are missing a few like that one ravnica artifact that returns to hand and taps (to tap a creature AFAIRemember) for same cost as razor boomerang and one with nothing.

but otherwise, nice job!!

June 2, 2012 3:24 p.m.

spectre501st says... #35

I play a lot of 4+ multiplayer and should drop Great Wall just to see the reaction. :)

June 2, 2012 9:58 p.m.

Minousmancer says... #36

Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 2, 2012 11:24 p.m.

doinitwrong says... #37

@Halfdead do you mean Cyclopean Snare ?

June 2, 2012 11:24 p.m.

Vman says... #38

hmmmm seems like theres alot of things i misses.. i shazll make a list hahah

June 2, 2012 11:49 p.m.

doinitwrong says... #39

Oh, don't forget Cathedral of Serra .

June 3, 2012 12:34 a.m.

Vman says... #40

haha i most likely wont

June 3, 2012 12:38 a.m.

Jan_gwapo says... #41

Msakkke paaaakkkeee paarrtt twwwooo

June 3, 2012 10:40 p.m.

Halfdead says... #42

@doingitwrong: yeah, that's it.

June 4, 2012 1:37 p.m.

Ihsansshade says... #43

Can't believe nobody mentioned Jhessian Zombies . I don't understand why'd you want land cycling when you can have 2 fear damage every turn for 6 mana.

June 6, 2012 8:11 a.m.

doinitwrong says... #44

Also, how about the most devastating 8-drop ever, Scornful Egotist ?

June 6, 2012 1:21 p.m.

Vman says... #45

lol at both cards above

June 7, 2012 12:23 a.m.

Plummyr says... #46

I'm surprised Goblin Bangchuckers haven't been mentioned. 4 mana for a 2/2 that has a 50/50 chance to kill itself? AHmazing.

June 7, 2012 5:29 a.m.

ravengamer93 says... #47

Actually no joke Scornful Egotist is an amazing card in a RB spellbomb deck, 8 dmg every turn with the right cards.

June 7, 2012 8 p.m.

Blackrun says... #48

Some weeks ago I think they are just really good, because you speak of it.

I never think of sarcasm. LOL

June 21, 2012 6:35 a.m.

Vman says... #49

lol.. im actually planning to make another article like this-ish but im pretty buisy.. once im free itl be the first thing i do =))

June 21, 2012 7:15 a.m.

Blackrun says... #50

And I'll be the first reader of your next article! =))

How could some weeks ago I thought Chimney Imp is one of the best card ever o.O

June 21, 2012 7:37 a.m.

Vman says... #51

hahahaha lol.. ive had some friends of mine actually take this serious till they got to Razor Boomerang .... a new 1 would probably take 2 more weeks since im kinda hung up.. =)

June 21, 2012 9:42 a.m.

warper says... #52

Scornful Egotist has the best flavortext

June 29, 2012 2:55 p.m.

doinitwrong says... #53

@warper: the best part of Scornful Egotist is it's flavor text plus the fact that it's creature type was errata'd to "human wizard."

June 29, 2012 9:01 p.m.

Cirdan13 says... #54

If you do another, don't forget about Descent into MadnessMTG Card: Descent into Madness.

July 18, 2012 4:09 p.m.

hubatish says... #55

I love the turn 2 win Combo deck with Grizzly Bears . & the opponent casts Black Lotus -> Jace Beleren to give you an extra card! Lol

August 23, 2012 11:51 p.m.

miracleHat says... #56

you forgot about the power of nine, ante cards, Primeval Titan /[tarmagoyf]

December 15, 2012 8:55 p.m.

Vman says... #57

=0 good times

May 3, 2017 11:21 p.m.

ndgipper says... #58

thanks for inspiring my new legacy deck!

May 4, 2017 9:31 p.m.

Vman says... #59

ndgipper im so glad to have inspired you my friend XD

May 4, 2017 9:50 p.m.

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