Sweet Ermengarde Or, the Heart of a Country Girl

Commander / EDH* Control Jank Multiplayer Theme/Gimmick WUB (Esper)

austintayshus

Land (38)

• 1x Arcane Sanctum
• 1x Ash Barrens
• 1x Bad River
• 1x City of Brass
• 1x City of Shadows
• 1x Command Tower
• 1x Drowned Catacomb
• 1x Dust Bowl
• 1x Esper Panorama
• 1x Evolving Wilds
• 1x Exotic Orchard
• 1x Fetid Heath
• 1x Flood Plain
• 1x Godless Shrine
• 1x Halimar Depths
• 1x Hallowed Fountain
• 1x Irrigated Farmland
• 5x Island
• 1x Marsh Flats
• 1x Minamo, School at Water's Edge
• 6x Plains
• 1x Remote Farm
• 4x Swamp
• 1x Terramorphic Expanse
• 1x Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
• 1x Watery Grave

Instant (5)

• 1x Cyclonic Rift
• 1x Farm / Market
• 1x Foil
• 1x Swords to Plowshares
• 1x Think Twice

Planeswalker (2)

• 1x Elspeth Tirel
• 1x Kaya, Ghost Assassin

Creature (24)

• 1x Aphetto Alchemist
• 1x Bane Alley Broker
• 1x Bounty Hunter
• 1x Cho-Manno, Revolutionary
• 1x Clay Statue
• 1x Dogged Hunter
• 1x Eldrazi Displacer
• 1x Fatestitcher
• 1x Fiend Hunter
• 1x Gerrard Capashen
• 1x Gwafa Hazid, Profiteer
• 1x Harbor Bandit
• 1x Hostage Taker
• 1x Intrepid Hero
• 1x Mistmeadow Witch
• 1x Mother of Runes
• 1x Mulldrifter
• 1x Rasputin Dreamweaver
• 1x Sacred Cat
• 1x Shield Dancer
• 1x Stinkdrinker Bandit
• 1x Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger
• 1x Vizier of Tumbling Sands
• 1x Witch Hunter

Sorcery (11)

• 1x Austere Command
• 1x Blatant Thievery
• 1x Bribery
• 1x Choice of Damnations
• 1x Citywide Bust
• 1x Merciless Eviction
• 1x Obzedat's Aid
• 1x Rags / Riches
• 1x Reanimate
• 1x Strongarm Tactics
• 1x Windfall

Commander (1)

Artifact (14)

• 1x Azorius Signet
• 1x Fellwar Stone
• 1x Font of Mythos
• 1x Gilded Lotus
• 1x Howling Mine
• 1x Illusionist's Bracers
• 1x Orzhov Signet
• 1x Pristine Talisman
• 1x Puppet Strings
• 1x Sol Ring
• 1x Thaumatic Compass  ^Flip
• 1x Thran Dynamo
• 1x Umbral Mantle
• 1x Unbender Tine

Enchantment (5)

• 1x Farmstead
• 1x Freed from the Real
• 1x Land Tax
• 1x Revel in Riches
• 1x Rhystic Study

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This deck is based on the short-story Sweet Ermengarde Or, the Heart of a Country Girl by H. P. Lovecraft.

When one thinks of Howard Philips Lovecraft, one often thinks of the horrifying monsters he created, the slowly developing sense of dread in each story, and his crown-jewel, Cthulhu. And his racism/classism/xenophobia (see The Rats in the Walls by H. P. Lovecraft for the most obvious examples of his racism, read literally any other story to find his more subtle racism). These ideas would naturally be a good starting place when building an HP inspired deck. Well, that deck has already been done a thousand times over. I would like to present to you,

Sweet Ermengarde Or, the Heart of a Country Girl by Percy Simple (H. P. Lovecraft)

I've had a love/hate kinda fascination with HP since high school. His monsters are always interesting, but his stories build so slowly that it's almost never worth the reveal at the end of the story. There's usually at least one interesting theme in each story, but it's all marred by his superfluous word-choice. He loved science, but didn't have the aptitude for any math whatsoever, so that his more science-based stories sound like a 5-year-old child trying to describe how an automobile work.

Enjoy the mood music! It's not a good song, but then again the story that the deck is based on is not necessarily a good story.

And if you'd like to read the original story before looking at the deck (it's a quick read), you can find it with this link.

You can also find other stories by H. P. Lovecraft on that website if you have the time and energy to waste.

Characters

Merieke Ri Berit as Ethyl Ermengarde Stubbs, the titular character. Ermengarde is able to manipulate her enemy in the end, and I think that Merieke's ability is a nice representation of that. But more importantly she's blonde.

Rasputin Dreamweaver as 'Squire Hardman, the main villain of the story. I couldn't think of any MTG men with moustaches, but Rasputin's got a sweet beard and a cool name, autoinclude.

Intrepid Hero as Jack Manly, "...whose curly yellow hair had won the sweet Ermengarde’s affection when both were toddling youngsters at the village school." I just needed the classic 'hero-type' for this character (spoiler alert: he's not relevant in the story for very long)

Cho-Manno, Revolutionary as Hiram Stubbs, an honest farmer, bootlegger, and Ermengarde's father. He's a nice father, but he can't stand up for himself against 'Squire Hardman. Cho-Manno exemplifies that.

Mother of Runes as Hannah Stubbs, Ermengarde's mother and Hiram's Wife. She's not really important in the story, but she's there, so she gets a card.

Sacred Cat as The cat that gets kicked by 'Squire Hardman in Chapter 2. I'm reaching, I know.

Harbor Bandit and Stinkdrinker Bandit as the two henchmen in Chapter 3.

Mistmeadow Witch as Mother Maria, a hideous old hag who watches her after she's been kidnapped.

Clay Statue as statue of satan on 'Squire Hardman's Onyx Mantle piece in Chapter 4. Look, there really aren't that many characters in the story.

Shield Dancer as Leading Lady in the Burlesque Troupe, mentioned in chapter 4. They both dance?

Bounty Hunter , Dogged Hunter , Fiend Hunter , Witch Hunter as the party of hunters from the city.

Gerrard Capashen as Algernon Reginald Jones who "...was a polished man of the world from the great city, and in his sophisticated hands our poor little Ermengarde was as a mere child... Algy was a fast worker, but never crude. He could have taught Hardman a thing or two about finesse in sheiking." Algernon is also not relevent in the story for very long. That may be because the story itself is not very long.

Bane Alley Broker as Bridget Goldstein, who is married to Ermengarde's childhood sweetheart Jack Manly by chapter 7. The city changed Jack and now he prefers girls with headbands.

Elspeth Tirel as Mrs. Van Itty. She meets Ermengarde by accident in chapter 6 and, another spoiler alert I guess, she turns out to be Ermengarde's real mother. And that twist doesn't really go anywhere. It's revealed and then... like... the story just kinda ends.

Story Elements

Farmstead and Remote Farm and Irrigated Farmland and Farm / Market and Swords to Plowshares and Dust Bowl and Exotic Orchard are there to remind you that Ermengarde is a sweet country girl at heart.

City of Brass and Citywide Bust and Merciless Eviction and City of Shadows are there to capture the 'city' flavor

Revel in Riches and Land Tax and Rags / Riches and Blatant Thievery and Strongarm Tactics are there to represent the financial conflict between the Stubbs' and 'Squire Hardman.

Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger is here because every H. P. Lovecraft deck needs an eldritch horror like Ulamog. And Eldrazi Displacer and Unbender Tine (read the flavor text) are both distinctly lovecraftian in flavor.

Plan?

I guess... steal stuff with Merieke? Untap her and kill their thing? Look, this deck isn't trying to win, it's trying to make me remember reading Sweet Ermengarde for the first time. How I was taken aback by this weird little comedy from the father of weird fiction. Just let me live my life, okay!

I have a feeling that nobody on this website except me gives half a shit about Sweet Ermengarde, but sometimes, you gotta treat yourself, and that's what this deck is really. A treat, just for me.

If you have any card suggestions for me, let me know in the comments. If you disagree with me and think that H. P. Lovecraft was a good writer, you can also post your shitty opinions in the comments.

Top Ranked	Achieved #7 position overall 4 years ago Achieved #1 position in Commander / EDH Control 4 years ago Achieved #1 position in Commander / EDH Jank 4 years ago Achieved #1 position in Commander / EDH Multiplayer 4 years ago
Date added	5 years
Last updated	4 years
Legality	This deck is Commander / EDH legal.
Rarity (main - side)	4 - 0 Mythic Rares 42 - 0 Rares 23 - 0 Uncommons 16 - 0 Commons
Cards	100
Avg. CMC	3.60
Tokens	Morph 2/2 C, Sacred Cat 1/1 W, Soldier 1/1 W, Treasure
Folders	My Stanky Jank, jhk, Guy Fieri's Flavortown, Random Stuff, Other People's Cool Commander Decks